Talk:Turn Up the Radio (Madonna song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Prism (talk · contribs) 21:09, 8 June 2014 (UTC)

// GA review by pedro //

Prose (As you may've noticed I already did a minor copyedit in the Background section, and I'll give you some suggestions regarding the other sections.)


 * // lead
 * · "'Turn Up the Radio' is a song recorded by American singer-songwriter Madonna for her twelfth studio album, MDNA (2012)." (Probably longer than it should be; remove recorded and substitute for her with from)
 * · It was written by Madonna, Martin Solveig, Michael Tordjman and Jade Williams, and produced by Madonna and Solveig. → It was written by the song's producers—Madonna and Martin Solveig—along with Michael Tordjman and Jade Williams.
 * · "Effervescent" and "happy" are adjectives copied from MTV News. Please quote them in the lead and add a footnote next to them.
 * · "Critics also denoted it as the first single that should have been released from MDNA." (This sounds strange and it's irrelevant to the lead section, being that it already states that it was selected as one of the album's best, etc. Could you remove this?)
 * · "She has the second biggest collection of number-one songs on any Billboard chart, following George Strait, who has 44 number ones on Hot Country Songs." ('''Maybe you should leave this in the Chart performance section and talk a bit more about the international performance of the song. By the way, the information about the US dance chart should precede the other chart information (being that it's her primary market). Also, remove the information about having entered the charts after the album release... it's irrelevant to the lead.)
 * · "in Florence, Italy" ('The commas here may be a bit ambiguous to the readers. Maybe the Italian city of Florence'' or something similar.)
 * · Did she strum on a guitar or strum a guitar? Clarify if she's faking to strum a guitar or actually playing it. By the way, the Live performances section of the article says nothing about her playing the guitar (or faking to do it).
 * · The Far East Movement is awkwardly placed at the end of the lead. Why not place it next to the release information, that's found in the first paragraph?


 * // recording and composition
 * · "had approved" → "approved for the album"
 * · "On the first day of recording" → "On the first day of recording,"
 * · "The song begins with a keyboard start" (Could the song begin with a keyboard end?)
 * · "According to the sheet music of the song" (Which publishing company published the sheet music? You really need to specify this. Usually, most sheet music are different.)
 * · "During the intermediate verses, Madonna sings about making speakers blow, which is accompanied by a subtle sound of an actual speaker blowing up." ('This should be in the second paragraph. Right now, the section is structured like music–lyrics–music–lyrics''.
 * · "It also talks about the need to relax as well as have fun" (Does it talk about the need to have fun or having fun? Clarify the sentence.)


 * // critical reception
 * · Star Observer looks like a tabloid (negative point) designed to cater specifically to the LGBT community, rather than being a credible music publication (another negative point). Remove it please.
 * · "clieche" (typo)
 * · Why however to start the third paragraph? There was already a mixed review in the end of the previous paragraph, which shared the criticism of the lyrics. Remove it.
 * · "stating:" → "stating, "
 * · Remove "This was shared by".


 * // chart performance
 * · "Prior to its proposed release as a single," (was the song even released in those territories? If not, remove it.)
 * · Is Lifestyle Mirror reliable?
 * · "bitch!." (typo)
 * · "Brennan Carly from Billboard gave the following review: 'Madge seems down-to-earth and affable in the clip, requesting that her driver stop her private car so she can get out and watch a group of street dancers. She even puts the top on the car back, really letting loose as the European breeze blows back her blonde hair.'" (lazy text)
 * · "but ' she" (remove space between the quotation mark and she)


 * // live performances
 * · ".[70].[71]." → ".[70][71]" (i.e.: references)
 * · "The performance of the song at the [...] was recorded and released" (change to plural form)


 * // charts
 * · According to WP:BADCHARTS, you can't list the Singles Sales charts when the main charts are already included.
 * Allow me to address this, the policy you are referring to is WP:BILLBOARDCHARTS, which states that "If a song has not charted on the Billboard Hot 100 you may add any of the following → among the list is Hot Singles Sales charts". So we can add the sales chart since "Turn Up the Radio" did not enter the Billboard Hot 100 nor did it enter the Bubbling Under chart. — Indian: BIO  · [ ChitChat ] 02:39, 9 June 2014 (UTC)


 * // references
 * · Some references are formatted like Work/Website (Publisher) and others like Work/Website. Publisher. Make them consistent.
 * We use parentheses in the Publisher parameter when the source is a printed publication.
 * · FN7, 88, 89 should be formatted like |publisher=iTunes Store |region=(US/AU/SP depending on the country)
 * · FN73 is missing accessdate and (possibly) date of publication.
 * ✅ Alex talk page! 00:02, 9 June 2014 (UTC)
 * All my concerns were addressed; and you're right, IndianBio. Except for the Hot Dance Singles Sales chart, which per WP:BILLBOARDCHARTS you can't list unless it hasn't charted on the main Dance chart. Removed. Passing the GA, congrats! :)  prism  △ 19:17, 9 June 2014 (UTC)