Talk:Twenty (concert)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: MaranoFan (talk · contribs) 14:55, 6 June 2023 (UTC)

Hello once again, Pseud 14! This article looks to be in great shape. I'll do the GA review asap.--NØ 14:55, 6 June 2023 (UTC)

Comments

 * "The concert was announced in September 2006 and held on two consecutive nights in October at the Araneta Coliseum in Quezon City." - Maybe start this sentence with "it" as the word "concert" appears in the preceding sentence.
 * Done


 * In the same sentence, I think the year should appear again after "October"
 * Added year


 * "The setlist contained songs predominantly taken from Velasquez's discography" - Maybe "The setlist predominantly contained songs taken from Velasquez's discography"
 * Done


 * "while Raul Mitra was chosen as musical director" - The current wording raises the question of who chose him, so this could be slightly reworded.
 * Reworded to avoid ambiguity


 * "Velasquez staged a show, named Isang Pasasalamat, at UPD's Sunken Garden to commemorate her ten-year career" - Maybe "then-ten-year-career" since it has been more years since. Also, I could be wrong but shouldn't the show's name be italicized?
 * Done as suggested. I think since we are referring to the concert title (i.e. same as tour names) as opposed to a concert television special (which is not the case), we wouldn't need to italicized.


 * "She has not changed much but she has so much passion in her music now compared before" - Add a "[to]" between "compared" and "before" since the person speaking here made a grammatical error.
 * Done


 * I would repeat my comment about the "Raul Mitra was chosen" part in the Background and development section as well.
 * Same as above revision


 * "The concert was met with positive responses from critics" - Could be singular: "a positive response"
 * Done


 * "He praised Velasquez's "bravura belting" and her ability to sing "high notes with relative ease" - "her" can be omitted here.
 * Done


 * "Velasquez was named Best Female Major Concert Act and Entertainer of the Year award at 20th Aliw Awards for the production" - There's an error in this sentence. One way of fixing this I can think is "Velasquez was named Best Female Major Concert Act and Entertainer of the Year at the 20th Aliw Awards for the production"
 * That's my bad. "award" has been omitted.

Final comments and verdict
Since the article is high quality I allowed myself to get a little more nitpick-y. I hope you liked this review and good luck with this article!--NØ 15:21, 6 June 2023 (UTC)
 * Thank you very much for taking up this review in the GAN space MaranoFan. I have actioned all the comments you have raised and addressed them. Let me know if they are to your satisfaction or I may have missed anything. Pseud 14 (talk) 15:45, 6 June 2023 (UTC)
 * Looks like a ✅ to me!--NØ 07:19, 7 June 2023 (UTC)