Talk:Twin Suns/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Some Dude From North Carolina (talk · contribs) 20:11, 22 May 2021 (UTC)

Hey, I'm going to be reviewing this article. Expect comments by the end of the week. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 20:11, 22 May 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Add the "use mdy dates" template to fix citations per WP:BADDATE.
 * The lead should be expanded to two to three paragraphs to summarize the entire article.
 * ✅, I hope it is enough to summarize the article, I did not want to spoil the episode's main twist (which makes up most of the Writing section). Yeeno   (talk) 🍁 22:15, 27 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Looks great. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 22:24, 27 May 2021 (UTC)

Plot

 * Isn't the word "Holocron", also seen in #Casting, supposed to be capitalized?
 * Looking at Wookieepedia, it is not capitalized as an in-universe object. Yeeno   (talk) 🍁 17:45, 27 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Just asking since Wikipedia and various sources have it capitalized. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 18:58, 27 May 2021 (UTC)
 * I understand the confusion, Wikipedia refers to the real-life database (capitalized), while the fictional in-universe object is not. Yeeno   (talk) 🍁 19:05, 27 May 2021 (UTC)


 * "Shortly afterwards" "Shortly afterward" (American English)
 * The plot section is under 400 words, so that passes MOS:TVPLOT.

Production

 * Recite sources at the end of every quote per WP:QUOTE.
 * Is this needed for the mid sentence quote? If not I only recited the one that preceded a semi-colon. Yeeno   (talk) 🍁 18:08, 27 May 2021 (UTC)
 * No, just for sentences containing quotes. The one with "wretched hive of scum and villainy" needs a recite. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 18:45, 27 May 2021 (UTC)
 * I'm not sure how to treat this one, since the full line is not referenced in the article, but rather mentioned as the "'scum and villainy' line" (see ref 15); I only included the full line to make it clear to the readers what it refers to. Yeeno   (talk) 🍁 19:09, 27 May 2021 (UTC)
 * Well, the phrase would need a citation at the end of the sentence its in. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 19:12, 27 May 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ Yeeno   (talk) 🍁 19:18, 27 May 2021 (UTC)


 * "creation the episode" "creation of the episode"
 * "Lucasfilm Story Group, who" "Lucasfilm Story Group, which" (not a person)
 * "the season 2" doesn't sound right - maybe change it to "the second season"
 * "one off" "one-off"
 * Is the comma after "emotional connection" necessary?
 * Remove the comma after "controversial" (short sentence).
 * "the The Phantom Menace" "The Phantom Menace"
 * "as at the same age is" is confusing so reword
 * Dropped the "as" here, sounds better. Yeeno   (talk) 🍁 17:52, 27 May 2021 (UTC)


 * "According the Filoni" "According to Filoni"
 * Remove the comma after "protecting".
 * "21 minute" "21-minute"
 * Remove the comma after "impressed".
 * Remove the comma after "contributions to the character".

Promotion and release

 * "in United Kingdom" "in the United Kingdom"

Reception

 * Slash Film /Film
 * New York Daily News New York Daily News
 * "well received" "well-received" (both uses)
 * Add a serial comma after "Kenobi, Maul".
 * Order the citations after "storyline".
 * Also make a WP:CITEBUNDLE to avoid WP:OVERCITE.
 * IGN IGN
 * "the The AV Club" The A.V. Club
 * This section has a lot of quotes so try paraphrasing and expanding the section per WP:RECEPTION.
 * ✅ Yeeno   (talk) 🍁 22:36, 29 May 2021 (UTC)