Talk:Twomile Run/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Folklore1 (talk · contribs) 16:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC)

As I perform the review, I will update the following table. Please look below the table for my questions and comments. Folklore1 (talk) 13:26, 23 September 2014 (UTC)

Images

 * I just added an image. It's a satellite map from the USGS National Map. An actual photograph would be impractical (for me at least) since Twomile Run is over a hundred miles away from where I'm based. --Jakob (talk)  17:36, 20 January 2015 (UTC) ✅ Folklore1 (talk) 18:14, 20 January 2015 (UTC)

Lead section
The second paragraph begins with "Twomile Run is the only stream..." However, I was unable to verify this sentence in the referenced source, and it doesn't quite agree with the text on page 2 of FINAL KETTLE CREEK WATERSHED TMDL. Please provide a specific page number for support or revise the text to agree with page 2. Folklore1 (talk) 18:24, 20 January 2015 (UTC) ✅
 * Apparently it's not even accurate (Fivemile Hollow also enters Kettle Creek from the east). I've removed it. --Jakob (talk)  18:29, 20 January 2015 (UTC)

Please include a specific page in the reference for Susquehanna River Basin Commission. This is a rather long document and I'm having trouble verifying "Most of the acid mine drainage...". Folklore1 (talk) 19:19, 20 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Page 3. However, Kettle Creek is impaired by AMD near its confluence with the West Branch Susquehanna River. These impacts are mainly located within the Twomile Run Watershed and just upstream of its confluence with the mainstem of Kettle Creek. --Jakob (talk)  16:12, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
 * I have changed page number to match the numbering of the reference. The "Results" section begins with page 29 of the Commission's report and we're using information from the third page of that section, which is page 31. Folklore1 (talk) 13:36, 26 January 2015 (UTC) ✅

In 2007, the average pH..." in the lead section suggests that this is significant. If so, the change in pH measured in 2011 should also be mentioned in the lead. Folklore1 (talk) 15:30, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Done. --Jakob (talk)  16:12, 21 January 2015 (UTC) ✅

In the lead section, it would be more useful to state whether the manganese level of Twomile is high or low, leaving the specific measurements for the body of the article. Is it high? See page 165 of the referenced source. Bear in mind that most of us readers are not chemists and do not know what these numbers mean. Folklore1 (talk) 21:15, 20 January 2015 (UTC)
 * The source says that manganese concentrations above 1 ppm are rare in natural waters. I think that 1 ppm is equal to 1 milligram per liter when we're talking about water, so perhaps that could be added. Or would it stray too far into OR territory? --Jakob (talk)  16:12, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
 * There are no federal standards for manganese in drinking water, but these levels are way over the EPA's secondary standard of 0.05 mg/l and over the level Connecticut considers unsafe (10 times the state's 0.5 mg/l Action Level). See . Folklore1 (talk) 16:01, 26 January 2015 (UTC)
 * The only federal or Pennsylvania state government standards about manganese seem to be limited to drinking water, which would be wandering off-topic for stream water. So I'm considering this issue ✅. Folklore1 (talk) 19:08, 28 January 2015 (UTC)

Course
"after some distance" is kind of vague. This could be corrected with an approximate distance, or by mentioning a specific landmark. Or you could delete that phrase and replace "and entering Noyes Township" with ", then enters Noyes Township." Folklore1 (talk) 19:29, 20 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Phrase removed. --Jakob (talk)  16:12, 21 January 2015 (UTC) ✅

Using "Shortly after" and "shortly afterwards" in the same sentence is awkward. I suggest replacing one of these with something else to make the sentence a little smoother to read. Folklore1 (talk) 19:37, 20 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Done. --Jakob (talk)  19:11, 24 January 2015 (UTC) ✅

Tributaries
I've reorganized this section a bit make it a little easier to read. Folklore1 (talk) 19:52, 20 January 2015 (UTC) ✅ Folklore1 (talk) 15:32, 21 January 2015 (UTC)

The referenced map does not identify the unnamed tributary of Huling, but does it have a name that was simply not mentioned on the map? Is it significant enough to mention in the article? Folklore1 (talk) 20:11, 20 January 2015 (UTC)
 * If there is an official name, it would be on the map. --Jakob (talk)  19:11, 24 January 2015 (UTC) ✅ Folklore1 (talk) 13:58, 26 January 2015 (UTC)

The other source for this section reports that Huling Branch is about the same length as Twomile Run. Perhaps that should be stated in the article. Just saying Huling is significantly longer than the other tributary doesn't tell us much. Folklore1 (talk) 20:57, 20 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Done. --Jakob (talk)  19:11, 24 January 2015 (UTC) ✅

Hydrology
What is "site KC121"? This label needs an explanation. Folklore1 (talk) 20:20, 20 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Explanation added in the form of a note. --Jakob (talk)  16:12, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Note 1 identifies the location, but I'm still curious about "site KC121". What does it mean? Folklore1 (talk) 13:52, 26 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Does it identify a sampling site or testing station at a specific location in the Kettle Creek watershed? Folklore1 (talk) 14:41, 26 January 2015 (UTC)
 * If so, calling it "testing station KC121" or "sampling station KC121" would more clearly identify it. Folklore1 (talk) 18:11, 26 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Done. --Jakob (talk)  19:10, 28 January 2015 (UTC) ✅

On hold
I'm putting this article on hold to allow time for improvements. Please let me know if more time is needed. The highlighted notes above identify priority items, which I consider necessary for GA status. Folklore1 (talk) 16:01, 21 January 2015 (UTC)

Although I'm not calling the un-highlighted notes necessary for GA status, that doesn't mean they are unimportant. The article is short, borderline in qualifying for GA. So it would probably be a good idea to address some of the minor stuff too during the hold period. Folklore1 (talk) 16:09, 21 January 2015 (UTC)
 * At 2000 words, it's shorter than some of the articles I've nominated for GA, but I don't think it's that short, especially considering the obscure nature of the article. --Jakob (talk)  19:11, 24 January 2015 (UTC)
 * Agreed. Folklore1 (talk) 14:02, 26 January 2015 (UTC)