Talk:Tyler Skaggs/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 00:37, 24 March 2021 (UTC)

Might take me a few days, but I've been writing so many articles myself lately, it seems only fair that I get some of these reviewed. Happy to give this a look! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 00:37, 24 March 2021 (UTC)

Had more time than I was expecting this evening! Here are my comments.


 * For the section headings under career, I think it would make more sense if they read “Los Angeles Angels (minor league system)”, “Arizona Diamondbacks (2012-2013)”, and “Los Angeles Angels (2014, 2016-2019)”. This will make clearer that the “second stint” was his first in the major leagues.
 * ✅ Changed "second stint" to "return", but added years and specified minor league turn.

Lead
 * I would remove “for an injury sustained in 2014” – slightly redundant and unnecessary detail for the lead.
 * ”and continued to miss” – “also missing” Also, take out “other” before injuries.
 * ”At the time of his death, Skaggs posted” – “Through June of 2019, Skaggs had posted” – This makes more sense chronologically, since we haven’t mentioned the death on this pass-through of his story yet.
 * opiates to Skaggs, - take out comma afterwards, since next sentence is not an independent clause.
 * ✅ all of the above.

Early life
 * “referred to Skaggs as the best baseball player to attend the school” – called Skaggs the school’s best baseball player”

Career
 * ”2009 Major League Baseball draft” – “2009 Major League Baseball (MLB) draft” – to set up the abbreviation later on
 * ”in the same round as” – “in the same round as other Angel draft picks”
 * ”Skaggs made” – “The pitcher made” – that way, three sentences in a row don’t start with “Skaggs”
 * ”a 8-4” – “an 8-4”
 * Also, that dash should probably be an m dash (you can type these from the edit box). I really don’t care about these, but other editors always correct me on them, so I’m guessing that’s the way it’s supposed to be done.
 * ”19 appearances, including 14 starts,” – “19 appearances (14 starts)”
 * ”it could not be officiated” – “it could not become official” – the way it is now implies it is a sporting event being reviewed by a referee.
 * ”after Skaggs signed his contract” – “after Skaggs had signed his contract”
 * ”Across both teams” – “Between the Kernels and the Silver Hawks”
 * ”was 9–5, with a” – “was 9-5, and he posted a”
 * ”was 9–6, with a 2.96 ERA,” – “was 9—6, and he posted a 2.96 ERA”
 * Why not mention the game where he got his first major league win? Seems like a pretty big deal.
 * Because I am dumb and forgot to include that he won his first MLB start!
 * ”and 5.83 ERA” – “and a 5.83 ERA”
 * More detail on his 2013 season? Was he injured (and making rehab starts for the rawhide)?  What were his season stats?
 * ”He had a” – “Skaggs had a”
 * ”Skaggs left a potential no-hitter” – tell how long the no-hitter had been going for.
 * ”and elected to miss the 2015 season” – “and elected to delay his return until the beginning of the 2016 season” – after all, he might have missed all of 2015 anyway.
 * ”between the major and minor leagues, and finished 3–4 with a 4.17 ERA” – “between the major and minor leagues, posting a 3–4 record with a 4.17 ERA for the Angels.”
 * Please provide his stats for the 2017 and 2018 seasons. You may want to make them a separate paragraph from 2019.
 * ” At the time of his death” – “Through the end of June”
 * ” Across his professional baseball career” – “For his major league career”
 * ✅ all of the above

Pitching Style
 * Link minor league at first mention (which is back in the Diamondbacks section—sorry, I just caught this)
 * Link changeup at first mention (earlier in paragraph)
 * ✅ Whoops, holdover from before I rearranged that section
 * ✅ Whoops, holdover from before I rearranged that section

Personal life
 * ” and was a resident of his native Santa Monica until his death” – take out the comma before this clause, and change to “and remained a resident of Santa Monica during his major league career.”
 * Take out at the time of his death in the second sentence
 * ✅ all of the above

Death
 * End first sentence after Southlake, Texas, and begin next with “He was pronounced dead…”
 * Take out the comma after system
 * ” was ruled as an accident” – take out as.
 * Mention earlier in the article that he wore number 45; that will make the Corbin bit more understandable.
 * I couldn't find a non-awkward place to insert it in the body, so I just clarified in the sentence that Skaggs wore 45
 * That makes sense. Works for me! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 17:03, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ all the rest

References
 * For ref 11, italicize MLB.com, since that is the way it is done later.
 * refs 40 and 50 are from the same source. Make the publisher information the same, and I don’t think three different CBS’s are needed.
 * Make sure refs 46 and 56 have the same publisher information.
 * On ref 52, take out the .com on ESPN
 * Italicize MLB.com on ref 64
 * List ESPN News Services as author for ref 65
 * ✅ all of the above

Misc I would add in one or two more photos from commons, since there are some and we’ve got room. ✅

Once these are addressed, I'll look it over again, but it's looking pretty good so far! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 02:11, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you so much for taking a look! I believe I've addressed all your edits, !  Kncny11  (shoot) 15:24, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Looks great now, passing. Excellent work! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 17:07, 24 March 2021 (UTC)