Talk:Typhoon Brian (1989)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 02:40, 25 April 2012 (UTC)


 * In the opening line, where in the series was Brian?
 * First. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
 * The second sentence should say when it became a TS
 * Added Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
 * The last two sentences in the first lede paragraph have similar structures. Could you avoid the [Gerund clause, "the storm [verb]"... before] format.
 * Reworded Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
 * So the ridge weakened and re-intensified on September 30th?
 * Yup Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Somewhere you should indicate whether JTWC winds were 1-min or 10-min.
 * added it into the parentheses Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
 * When did Brian strike Vietnam? The wording is ambiguous whether the 3rd or 4th. An exact time would be good, since landfalls are important.
 * Clarified Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:46, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Similar to problem in lede, avoid two paragraphs starting with "Striking"
 * Reworded Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:46, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
 * were "soaked." - why the quotes? Who said it? And why is it important?
 * I don't know why I quoted it to be honest.... Removed the quotes. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:46, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
 * "In light of the widespread damage caused by the storms" - I'd hardly say it was "In light" of something. "Because of" would be a much better phrase, IMO.
 * Changed to "Because of" Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:46, 27 April 2012 (UTC)

The article is decent. Some sentences are a little clunky, and many could be combined, but I won't be that anal. Fix these and I'll be happy to pass. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 18:04, 25 April 2012 (UTC)