Talk:Typhoon Clara (1981)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 17:20, 28 June 2017 (UTC)

Hi YE. I will be reviewing this article this afternoon. It's a fairly decent article, but there's quite a few things (mostly minor) that I need you to fix or address before I decide whether or not to pass it.--12george1 (talk) 17:20, 28 June 2017 (UTC) That should be it.--12george1 (talk) 17:20, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
 * Again, I think you could go for a more interesting opening sentence. Don't typhoon strike the Philippines in September almost every year? Why not say that Clara left flooding in southeastern China and the northern Philippines in September 1981, or something like that?
 * Changed, and BTW, yes, the PHP gets more TC's than anywhere else on the planet. YE Pacific Hurricane  17:35, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "which lead to nearly 4,000 people homeless in one province alone." ---> "which left nearly 4,000 people homeless in one province alone."
 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane  17:35, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "Damage was estimated at $13.4 million (1981 USD)," - Is this a typo (the infobox says $13.5 million) or was there $100,000 in damage somewhere else? Btw, there's an extra space between 13.4 and million
 * Should be 13.4 million. Removed space; it was a bi-product YE Pacific Hurricane  17:35, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
 * I think maybe you could add more impact to the lead. Like mention how thousands of other people were also left homeless in China
 * I didn't include originally since it wasn't an exact figure. However, added. YE Pacific Hurricane  17:35, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
 * What was Clara's intensity at landfall in Luzon? Peak intensity?
 * Yes, as it should be obvious given that it peaked at 18z synoptic time, and landfall was at 22z, and IBTRACS only gives 6 hour databases. YE Pacific Hurricane  17:35, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "Near where the storm made landfall, winds of 97 km/h (60 mph) and a pressure of 977.1 mbar (28.85 inHg) was reported." - Since this is the first sentence of the section and because Clara made two landfalls, you should specify that this is talking about Luzon. So maybe go with "Near where the storm made landfall in northern Luzon". Also, the ending should be "were reported."
 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane  17:35, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "In the city of Baguio, several small landslides occurred, and 36 families sought shelter in higher ground due to floodwaters 2.4 m (8 ft) high.[9] Many towns in the surrounding area were isolated." - It would probably be better if the second part of the first sentence goes with the second sentence. "In the city of Baguio, several small landslides occurred. A total 36 families sought shelter in higher ground due to floodwaters 2.4 m (8 ft) high,[9] with many towns in the surrounding area becoming isolated."
 * Did something similar just to clear up to families in Baguio were evacuated. YE Pacific Hurricane  17:35, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "Throughout the Cagayan province, 3,725 people were homeless and" - 3,725 people were left/rendered homeless
 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane  17:35, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "Twelve victims sustained injured." ---> "Twelve victims sustained injuries."
 * Fixed. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  17:35, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "The next day day, the signal" - The next two days? :P
 * Fixed. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  17:35, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "Local ferry service and air traffic was disrupted by the typhoon and a few signs were blown down, " ---> "Local ferry service and air traffic were disrupted by the typhoon and a few signs were knocked down, "
 * ✅. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  17:35, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review as usual. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  17:35, 28 June 2017 (UTC)
 * Good work. I will now pass this article and list it as a GA.--12george1 (talk) 18:14, 28 June 2017 (UTC)