Talk:Typhoon Dinah (1987)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 23:31, 4 July 2017 (UTC)

Hello YE. I will be reviewing this article this evening. While it's not a bad article, I have quite a few things that I'll need you to fix. Most of them are pretty minor though--12george1 (talk) 23:31, 4 July 2017 (UTC) That should it be.--12george1 (talk) 23:31, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * "An area of low pressure developed near Guam on August 19," - You linked the Philippines in the previous sentence. Why not link Guam here? Also, link low-pressure area
 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane  23:49, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * "Intensification was initially gradual, but Dinah became a typhoon early on August 24, and subsequently began to intensify at a faster pace. " - Considering that intensification was gradual, it's not really surprising that Dinah didn't become a typhoon until August 24. So you could say "Intensification was initially gradual, with Dinah becoming a typhoon early on August 24, before it subsequently intensified at a faster pace."
 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane  23:49, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * "The system then began to recurved towards southwestern Japan" - "recurve", not "recurved"
 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane  23:49, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * You should mention the damage total in Japan because it accounts for more than 90% of the overall damage
 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane  23:49, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * "poorly organized area of disturbed weather that formed on August 18" - Make sure you state that it formed near Guam on August 18
 * Added. YE Pacific Hurricane  23:49, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * "At 06:00 UTC on August 19" - Wikilink Coordinated Universal Time
 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane  23:49, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * "Shortly after the upgrade, the depression then began to turn west in response to a subtropical high to its north." - I don't think the word "then" is necessary
 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane  23:49, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * "Following an increase in Dvorak classifications,[2] the JTWC classified the depression as Tropical Storm Dinah." - On what date was this? I'm guessing August 22. But there should be the date here considering you're three sentences into this paragraph and you didn't mention a date until the 6th sentence"
 * Noted. YE Pacific Hurricane  23:49, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * "the JMA estimated that Dinah reached its maximum intensity and minimum barometric pressure of 185 km/h (115 mph) and 915 mbar (27.0 inHg) respectively at noon on August 26." - Say "maximum sustained wind speed" instead of "maximum intensity" because intensity is based on pressure. Also, comma before and after "respectively"
 * ✅. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  23:49, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * "and assigned it with the local name Luding"
 * Fixed. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  23:49, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * "including 236 mm (9.3 in) during a day" - It would be better saying "during one day" or "in one day"
 * Former works. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  23:49, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * "Nationwide, a total of 432 structures received flooded,[14] 33 people were killed, 52 were unaccounted for,[15] and 4,372 buildings were destroyed," - First, I think you meant to say "432 structures were flooded". Next, I think you should move the "4,372 building were destroyed" to the second spot because those are the most similar. So right after the 432 structures that were flooded
 * Did something else because I like to keep the X were destroyed, leaving Y homeless stuff together. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  23:49, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * Back to that damage total. How did you come up with that? I understand that sometimes you'll have an overall total that doesn't match with adding up the state or national totals. If you have a source that says $679.1 million (the infobox total), go ahead and cite that, but it looks to me like the totals were added. All I'm seeing is $604 million for Japan and $39.1 million for South Korea, which adds up to only $643.1 million. Even if the Okinawa ($1.3 million) and U.S. military bases ($6.7 million) totals weren't counted in the $604 million total, that still only equals $651.1 million
 * Should be 643.1. Don't know how I got the 679.1... YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  23:49, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review again. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  23:49, 4 July 2017 (UTC)
 * Whoa, that was quick. I'll be passing this article now--12george1 (talk) 23:54, 4 July 2017 (UTC)