Talk:Typhoon Gerald/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 21:24, 25 June 2017 (UTC)

Hello YE. I will be reviewing this article this afternoon. It's a fairly decent article, but I see some things that need work before I can pass this article and list it as a GA.--12george1 (talk) 21:24, 25 June 2017 (UTC) That should be it.--12george1 (talk) 21:24, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * I think you could go for a more interesting opening sentence. Why not just say it caused severe flooding in Taiwan and south-central China in September 1987? Also, you misspelled Neneng
 * Re-wrote and fixed. YE Pacific Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "and within 24 hours, intensified into a tropical storm." - Add the storm/cyclone/system/it before "intensified"
 * The "tropical depression" is the subject of the sentence though. YE Pacific Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "the storm caused $4.48 million in damage but no deaths" - Mention USD here rather than two sentences later, unless this actually isn't USD
 * Moved. YE Pacific Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "In the neighboring Zhejiang Province, 28 were killed and 71 sustained injuries" - 28 pink unicorns? :P
 * Cleared up, I just don't want the lead to get repetitive. YE Pacific Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "from an area of low pressure that develop to the east" ---> "from an area of low pressure that developed to the east"
 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "after Typhoon Dinah transitioned into the extratropical cyclones over the South China Sea." - I'm trying to figure out how this was relevant to Gerald. It doesn't seem like there's a connection. Unless I'm missing something, I think you should remove this
 * Meh, removed, it gave the sentence some flow but I also feel it's more worthy mentioning in a season article. YE Pacific Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "Gerald made landfall less than 100 km (62 mi) away from Amoy." - I think you should specify which direction. North or south?
 * NE. YE Pacific Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "as it was no longer indefinable by surface observations" - This sounds like a double negative or contradiction. I'm guessing you meant to say "identifiable" instead of "indefinable"?
 * Fixed. YE Pacific Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "During its formative stages, the typhoon 177 people or 32 families were either homeless or evacuated to shelter in the Philippines" - There's several things wrong with this sentence. I think you should say "During its formative stages of the typhoon, 177 people – or 32 families – were either homeless or evacuated to shelters in the Philippines"
 * ✅. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "heavy rains and strong winds to the island nation." - I don't think Taiwan is a country. Just remove the word "nation"
 * ✅. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "During the height of the storm, 5,000 households lost power due to the typhoon." - No need for "due to the typhoon"
 * Removed. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "Typhoon Gerald brought extensive damage and up to 510 mm (20 in) of rain to the Fujian Province, particularly to cities of Ningde, Fuzhou, Putian, Quanzhou, Xiamen, Zhangzhou" - Did Gerald drop 20 inches of rain in those cities or did it cause extensive damage in those places, or both?
 * Revised, though not sure I liked it. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "67 people were killed, 31 other people were hurt," ---> "67 people were killed and 31 other people were hurt,"
 * It's a series though if items so there's only a need for an ",and" before the last item. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "were demolished,[16] 102 people were hurt,[17] and 122 fatalities occurred." ---> "were demolished,[16] 102 people were injured,[17] and 122 fatalities occurred."
 * ✅, just changed the "were" to "sustained". YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * "while Cheung Chau received 16.5 mm (0.65 in) in a five-day time span." - 0.65 inches of cocaine dust? :P
 * Cells :P YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review as always. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  21:48, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
 * Nice work on fixing these. I will now pass this article.--12george1 (talk) 22:03, 25 June 2017 (UTC)