Talk:Typhoon Kinna/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Hurricane Noah (talk · contribs) 01:10, 22 December 2018 (UTC)

Lead

 * Probably should have a link to the season article in the lead as well as in the MH.


 * Considering it's linked the infobox, I seldom do this. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)


 * Probably shouldn't say "Kinna strengthened into a tropical storm at 00:00 UTC on September 11." since it was not named prior to becoming a TS.


 * Ok. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)


 * "The typhoon turned north in response to a trough and passed through Okinawa as a minimal typhoon." Typhoon should be replaced by 'system'.


 * Cyclone works better here so that's what I went with.
 * "Typhoon Kinna obtained peak intensity on September 13, but thereafter, Kinna accelerated north-northeastward toward Kyushu and maintained its intensity." would be better to have "[...], maintaining its intensity."


 * Considering I mention it struck at peak intensity in the next sentence, I just axed that bit altogether, and merged the two sentences. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)


 * The first Kyushu should be linked and the second de-linked.


 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)


 * "There were 213 landslides and 9 bridges were washed out while 47 roads were damaged." could be rewritten as 'There were 213 landslides, 9 bridges washed out, and 47 roads were damaged.' the current iteration just doesn't seem right to me.


 * "9 bridges washed out" is missing a were and if I were to add a "were" along with your suggestion, I'd not be a fan of the parallel structure. But I moved the roads bit to the next sentence, so it should be better now. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)


 * Probably should have a link to hectares and acres as some may not be familiar with it.


 * I've always considered them common terms that I don't link in articles. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)

That should be it for the lead. Noah Talk 02:45, 22 December 2018 (UTC)
 * US dollar amount should be "$383 million (1991 USD)".
 * That breaks the consistency with how I do yen. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)

Meteorological history

 * Link to maximum sustained winds?


 * In the infobox and it's not something I consider urgent considering the notes. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)


 * Link to mbar and inHg?


 * See above about the hectares/yen bit. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)


 * Link first mention of Kyushu and de-link the second.


 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)

That should be it for the MH portion. Noah Talk 02:59, 22 December 2018 (UTC)
 * Same thing here as in the lead... "[...], maintaining its intensity."
 * I just inserted an "as" instead and I actually like my new sentence. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)

Impact

 * "The typhoon dropped heavy rainfall across much of the southern Japanese archipelago,[...]" Should be replaced with Typhoon Kinna as it is the first sentence.


 * ✅. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)


 * "A peak rainfall total occurred of 338 mm (13.3 in) at Nanbu, including 330 mm (13 in) in a 24-hour time frame." Should be corrected to "A peak rainfall total of 338 mm (13.3 in) occurred at Nanbu, including 330 mm (13 in) in a 24-hour time frame.


 * Good call. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)


 * "When the storm passed through southern Okinawa, a minimum surface pressure of 958 mbar (28.3 inHg) recorded at Kadena Air Base, [...]" Add 'was' before the word recorded.


 * Good catch. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)


 * Maebaru is misspelled (the non-linked one in P1)


 * Fixed. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)

Should be it. Noah Talk 03:31, 22 December 2018 (UTC)
 * "On Shikoku Island, roads were cut in 16 places in Tokushima Prefecture." would be better to simply say the roads were damaged.
 * That borders on OR too much for my tastes IIRC. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)


 * My writing was really choppy here. Thanks for the review though. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)