Talk:Typhoon Mamie (1985)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 04:34, 3 June 2014 (UTC)

Hello User:Yellow Evan, I am also going to reviewing this article for you. Below are the issues I have with passing this article and listing it as a Good Article.--12george1 (talk) 04:34, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * The infobox is missing the damage toll
 * It's not a damage total. It's losses. YE Pacific  Hurricane
 * "However, after turning north and crossing the Shanghai Peninsula, Mamie made a second landfall near Yantai as a tropical storm. " - First, you could have wikilinked "landfall" in the previous sentence, but at least you bothered to wikilink it this time :P Second, did Mamie teleport, because it apparently didn't cross the Yellow Sea :P Maybe write something like this: "However, after turning north and crossing the Shanghai Peninsula and the Yellow Sea, Mamie made a second landfall near Yantai as a tropical storm."
 * Yea, I could have, changing it won't cause my death. Added the bit about the Yellow Sea, though the storm did not turn yellow over the sea :P YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "After turning northwest and entering the Yellow Sea, Mamie moved ashore for the third and final time near Dairen." - If you followed through completely with my previous comment, delink Yellow Sea here and replace "entering" with "re-entering".
 * "On August 22, Mamie dissipated." - Three issues here. (1. Rather short sentence, maybe add a location. Even something as simple as northeastern China would be good. (2. The infobox says August 20. (3. I did the math from those last two sentences in the MH and the storm would have actually dissipated on August 21: "and by 0000 UTC on August 20, the JTWC ceased watching the cyclone.[1] The JMA followed suit 42 hours later."
 * Did all three. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "widespread flooding was reported across much of northern China, where 19 rivers were also flooded." - I would change this to something like this: "widespread flooding was reported across much of northern China, with 19 rivers in the region overflowing."
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "Moreover, about 8,00 0homes were flooded." - What's an "0homes"? :P
 * Fixed. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "The typhoon killed more than 120,000 animals, damaged 120,000 houses," - Why not put the 120,000 damage homes in the same sentence as the 8,000 homes that were flooded?
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "17 fatalities occurred and 16 5were injured." - What's "5were"? :P
 * Another name for the WPTC IRC room :P Jk. Fixed. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "Losses totaled $172 million (1985 USD)" - No period?
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "Typhoon Mamie originated from the southwesterly monsoonal flow near the Philippines, which was situated near Tropical Storm Lee, which was situated east of Taiwan at that time." - That's a bit confusing. Looks to me like the southwesterly monsoonal flow was near the Philippines, which was located close to Tropical Storm Lee, and all of that was situated east of Taiwan.
 * Better? YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "At 2300 UTC, the aircraft discovered a closed low-level circulation," - What day was this?
 * Added. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "However, the aforementioned ridge was not strong enough to prevent the storm from turning north-northwest on August 17" - Judging by the track, it looks like the storm moved in a more northwestward direction.
 * Ill stick with what the source says. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "the storm's winds had decreased to 65 mph (105 km/h) midday on August 18.[4] Typhoon Mamie moved offshore at 0200 UTC on August 19;[1] subsequently, the JTWC estimated winds of 60 mph (95 km/h)" - What's with the switch to mph first?
 * Fixed. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "After crossing the Shanghai Peninsula, Mamie turned north along the western periphery of a subtropical ridge, and at 0600 UTC, struck Yantai[1] as a minimal tropical storm.[4]" - Again, you forgot to mention that Mamie crossed the Yellow Sea.
 * Noted. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "The nation was already inundated by significant flooding earlier in the summer of 1985.[9]" - You mentioned Nelson in the lede. Maybe at the end of this sentence you should say "especially from Typhoon Nelson".
 * Added. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "After making landfall, 16.6 in (420 mm) of rain was measured in Liaoning, where the storm flooded 750,000 acres (303,515 ha) of farmland." - 16.6 inches of rain made landfall? Re-word it to something like this: "After making landfall, the storm dropped 16.6 in (420 mm) of rain in Liaoning, where 750,000 acres (303,515 ha) of farmland were flooded."
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "Due to a combination of Mamie and previous flooding, 19 rivers were also flooded." - For that part at the end, I think you should instead say, "19 rivers overflowed"
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * Again, put the 120,000 damaged homes in the same sentence as the 8,000 flooded homes
 * Eh, give me some flexibility please. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "Cables securing an oil ring were snapped." - Do you mean an "oil rig"?
 * Corrected. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "Loses totaled $172 million.[13]" - Missing an "s" in losses
 * Fixed. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "protect reservoirs from flooding,[19] and by Augus t28, 150,000 civilians" - You should probably put a period before the reference, making the second part the beginning of a new sentence. Also, what's "t28"? :P
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * For references #6 and #14, shouldn't the first letter of the title be a capital letter?
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * On references #8 and #12, you have "Association Press", rather than "Associated Press"
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * On reference #13, China and Taiwan are misspelled
 * Fixed. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * I might have more stuff later--12george1 (talk) 04:34, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review GC. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:38, 3 June 2014 (UTC)
 * Ok. I will now pass this article and list it as a Good Article.--12george1 (talk) 19:59, 4 June 2014 (UTC)