Talk:Typhoon Nelson (1982)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 15:06, 25 June 2014 (UTC)

All in all, the article is decent, just a little rough around the edges. ♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 15:06, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "Nelson originated from a tropical disturbance southeast of Guam towards the end of March. " - March 19 isn't toward the end of March
 * Fixed. YE Pacific Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "Although the system was initially poorly organized, the system "
 * Made the second one "it". YE Pacific Hurricane
 * Why not mention peak winds in lede?
 * I hate doing this, but added, because it should be there. YE Pacific Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "eight of which" - use "whom" when it's about people
 * Fixed. YE Pacific Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "Ten hours after the TCFA" - which you never mention
 * Noted. YE Pacific Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "Early on March 19, the JMA classified the system as Tropical Storm Nelson." - at that time, the JTWC was responsible for naming. Maybe just say "classified the system as a tropical storm."?
 * Good call. YE Pacific Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "more conductive conditions" - did you mean "conducive"?
 * That works. YE Pacific Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * " and by that afternoon" - you never mention a date in that paragraph
 * Noted. YE Pacific Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "both the JTWC and JMA increased the intensity to 195 km/h (120 mph)" - not according to the infobox
 * See below. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "the JTWC indicated that Nelson strengthen slightly on March 25, and attained winds of 185 km/h (115 mph)" - I think you have these wind speeds messed up, as 195 is obviously bigger than 185 :P
 * Reversed. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "Thereafter" - is the second sentence in a row having that word (The other being "Shortly thereafter"). Try changing it up
 * Better? YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "the JMA had lowered the winds of 100 mph (160 km/h)." - I think you mean "to", not "of". And why mph first?
 * I fixed both. Regarding the second, I always write everything in mph or knots first, then change it when I GAN it. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "Considered a "pre-season" storm by newspapers, Mamie required storm warnings for parts of the nation, which were broadcast via radio." - this article is about Nelson
 * I put the wrong tropical cyclone down :P It is Nelson. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "A total of 1,261 dwellings were leveled,[12] including 703 houses were destroyed" - you don't need the 2nd "were" if you have "including"
 * Fixed. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "all but 45 of the town's 600 houses were demolished" - you need "and" here
 * Fixed. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "A total of 165,462 persons evacuated to shelters;[13] approximately 83,000 of which were homeless." - change semicolon to comma, and, once again, use "whom" for people. Does this mean they were homeless when they evacuated, or they became homeless due to the storm?
 * Did both, and in answer to the third, it's probs the latter. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "Widespread power outages occurred." - pretty short sentence
 * I merged this and the one below it. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * "Bridges were washed away." - so is this
 * "Eight of the casualties were due to drownings" - I'm sure more were from drowning, if there were over 50 deaths
 * Put "at least". YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * I think there might be an issue with the damage total. Ref 6 suggests 147 million in pesos, right? Well, you should fix the link to Philippines Measuring Worth to 1982, as it says 8.54 pesos per US dollar, which would be $17.2 million. That's far less than what you said.
 * I can't do math here I guess :P I trust you and changed it. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review. YE <sup style="color:#666660;">Pacific <sup style="color:#666660;">Hurricane  15:58, 25 June 2014 (UTC)