Talk:Uchchhishta/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Mujinga (talk · contribs) 01:27, 6 January 2022 (UTC)

Overview

 * I'll take this on as part of WikiProject Good articles/GAN Backlog Drives/January 2022. I have to say I have never heard of Uchchhishta before, sounds like a fascinating concept. Mujinga (talk) 01:27, 6 January 2022 (UTC)

Copyvio check

 * There was an initially concerning copyvio alert with https://en.bharatpedia.org.in/wiki/Customs_and_etiquette_in_Indian_dining but that page was created june 2021 and appears to be copied from here.

Pictures

 * Licenses are ok, pictures are relevant
 * Per WP:MOSALT I would suggest adding alt captions

Lead

 * I'll return to this last

Concept

 * if the full definition is being given, then need to include "that which is spit out"
 * "in contact the inside" suggest "in contact with the inside"
 * "after he has eaten" suggest "after they have eaten" or another gender neutral way of saying it
 * "leftover food in the serving vessel after everyone is served" suggest "food remaining in the serving vessel after everyone has been served"
 * "who has passed human waste" suggest "who has defecated" if that captures the full meaning, maybe it does not
 * "While Uchchhishta is related to leftovers and contact with saliva, Uchchhishta should" second Uchchhishta could be "it" instead
 * "Like other bodily substances like sweat" suggest "Like other bodily substances such as sweat"
 * "to be part of body" suggest "to be part of the body"
 * the last sentence can be combined into a paragraph

Regional names

 * I'm a bit baffled why "Jutha or Jhutha – Hindi" has two citations to bengali-english dictionaries on it
 * Unreferenced entries should be referenced or deleted

Rules

 * I'd rather have a gender neutral expression that he/his/him (as the article does in other places) so:
 * "he is a dog who eats Uchchhista" - "a person is a dog who eats Uchchhista"
 * "considered as his insult" - "considered as an insult"
 * For someone, it's better to say someone else
 * "someone's mouth" - "someone else's mouth"
 * "someone's saliva" - "someone else's saliva"
 * "even though cleaned" = "even when cleaned"
 * "In contrast of the" - "In contrast to the"
 * "like of a husband" - "like that of a husband"
 * "having "eaten"" - "having been "eaten" "
 * " as in some parts of North India; however other times as in parts of South India, the comparison of the sacred prasad to Uchchhista, is frowned upon." - "as in parts of North India; however, in parts of South India, the comparison of the sacred prasad to Uchchhista is frowned upon."
 * "As such, wife" - "As such, the wife"
 * All these single sentences would be better off put into paragraphs
 * "(Gurukula) and learn" - "(Gurukula) and study"
 * "In this period, a student should ask for alms for his livelihood, which he should not consider as Uchchhishta." - "In this period, students should ask for alms for their livelihood, which they should not consider as Uchchhishta"
 * ^And so on for more instances of he/his
 * "of the guru, equivalent to medicine that an ill student should have" - "of the guru as equivalent to medicine for an ill student"
 * "In the Guru Stotram, it is said that the Guru is equivalent to the Trimurti, hence, for the student, it is considered as taking prasadam" - not cited

Fail

 * OK I'm going to stop here and quickfail the article. Sorry but the article is not well-written and needs a copy edit. You could ask at the WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors and you've got my copyedit here up to where I stopped (I can see the next section also needs work). With a rewrite I could see this being a good article, so best of luck with it. Mujinga (talk) 02:12, 6 January 2022 (UTC)