Talk:Ugochukwu-Smooth Nzewi/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Midnightblueowl (talk · contribs) 11:55, 23 August 2017 (UTC)

I'll field this one, unless there are any objections. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:55, 23 August 2017 (UTC)

This is quite a brief article, and it would be nice if it could be expanded (particularly through a discussion of Nwezi's artistic style) but it may well be that such expansion is not possible at present through the RS available to us. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:05, 23 August 2017 (UTC)
 * Yep, they're usually a bit longer, but in this case, I've torn through all the major sources available, including those he forwarded at my request, but most were either passing mentions or affiliated, as they are for many scholars. I got the impression that he wished for more recognition as an artist, but is primarily covered for his curatorial work. If you happen to find anything, though, let me know c
 * Hopefully more material will become available in future, as his career progresses. Midnightblueowl (talk) 19:00, 23 August 2017 (UTC)

A few prose points worth changing:
 * "Nzewi is an artist, art historian, and curator" - I think that we need the word "Nigerian" in there. It is normal on Wikipedia biographies to specify an individual's nationality at the first juncture. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:05, 23 August 2017 (UTC)
 * I've elaborated elsewhere in the lead. If he continued to work in Nigeria, it might be apt for the first sentence, but he works in the US c
 * It would still be standard to include the nationality in that opening sentence. There are many instances where an individual works abroad, but we still specify the nationality. Don't be afraid of mentioning that he is Nigerian and that he has worked in Nigeria in the lede; it's fine to have both. Midnightblueowl (talk) 18:49, 23 August 2017 (UTC)


 * Do we know which West African ethno-linguistic group Nzewi belongs to? That would be useful information for the article. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:05, 23 August 2017 (UTC)
 * Nope, added all relevant info that secondary sources found noteworthy c


 * "He studied sculpture with El Anatsui" - maybe a few words as to who El Anatsui is? Like "He studied sculpture with the Ghanaian artist El Anatsui"? Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:09, 23 August 2017 (UTC)
 * It's implied that he's a sculptor, no? El Anatsui is one of the most famous contemporary African artists, but the source doesn't go into that. Not sure that adding "Ghanaian" would add much here c
 * It's certainly not essential if you think it unnecessary. Midnightblueowl (talk) 19:00, 23 August 2017 (UTC)


 * "In this time, he curated the Nigerian Afrika Heritage Biennial three times.[" - "time... times" is a bit repetitive. How about "During this period" as the opener of this sentence? Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:05, 23 August 2017 (UTC)
 * "yearlong" as "year long", same with "monthlong". Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:09, 23 August 2017 (UTC)
 * It's an unspaced compound in NOAD c
 * Really? Even "monthlong"? Midnightblueowl (talk) 19:00, 23 August 2017 (UTC)
 * Yep c


 * " He expressed interest " - " He has expressed interest" would work better. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:10, 23 August 2017 (UTC)

Sources:
 * The first web source is just giving me "access denied". Can you do something about this; maybe linking to an archived version of the page? Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:05, 23 August 2017 (UTC)
 * "He later said that his travel experiences made him sympathetic to artists" - this does not seem to be referenced? Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:09, 23 August 2017 (UTC)
 * Per the source,

Appreciate for the review,. I believe I've addressed the above, if you'll take a look. If you might be interested, I have an article on an Angolan artist (Edson Chagas) also in the GA queue czar  18:46, 23 August 2017 (UTC)
 * , checking in—waiting on anything else with this? czar  16:34, 25 August 2017 (UTC)

I think that this meets all of the necessary criteria, so plan to pass this, but just a few additional points worth considering:
 * " currently Cleveland Museum of Art's African art curator. He was raised in Nigeria's capital "... I think perhaps this might be improved if we say " currently the Curator of African art at Cleveland Museum of Art. He was raised in Enugu" Midnightblueowl (talk) 16:47, 25 August 2017 (UTC)
 * I avoided this because "Curator of African art" indicates a title, which would require dropping the article "the" and makes the intro weird. Same for Enugu—trying to keep the tone for a general audience c


 * I see you have merged two sections into one, "Early life and career". I can see the reasoning behind this but wonder if it better the way that it was before? Having only two paragraphs in a section is fine. Up to you. Midnightblueowl (talk) 16:47, 25 August 2017 (UTC)
 * Per my edit summary, the old "Early life" section went up to his Ph.D. and thus included events that should have been part of the "Career" section, such as his artist/curator activities between college and grad school. But reducing it would make for an awkwardly short "Early life" section, so I did what I thought best czar  17:37, 25 August 2017 (UTC)

Thanks Czar; happy to pass this. Keep an eye on it and update it as more sources become available - it's an important subject! Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:49, 25 August 2017 (UTC)