Talk:Undertale/GA2

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Anarchyte (talk · contribs) 02:15, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

I presume the nominators want a quick but in-depth review, since GA1's result was reversed. Anarchyte  (work  &#124; talk )   02:15, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

Overall comments/Misc

 * Copyvio rating: 16.0% chance of violation of this page.
 * ''There was a 32.4% similarity rating with this page but it took its content from Wikipedia.
 * Did you find this through the dup detector, or some other tool? I'm not 100% sure how it works, but it looks like the only actual matches are instances of WP quoting The Escapist.--IDVtalk 23:38, 15 May 2016 (UTC)


 * Is it Underground or underground? In the lead, the word underground is capitalised but in the gameplay sections, they're all lowercase. Please specify this. Anarchyte  (work  &#124; talk )   03:41, 15 May 2016 (UTC)
 * It's Underground when it's the name of the game world ("Undertale takes place in the Underground"), and it's underground when it's just used as an adjective ("Players explore an underground world"), so it seems it's used correctly.--IDVtalk 12:36, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

Lead

 * Everything is fine here.
 * I made 2 minor edits to the lead in . I added a comma and removed a wikilink which had already been linked. Anarchyte  (work  &#124; talk )   03:41, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

Gameplay

 * In the game, players control a child, and complete objectives to progress through the story.
 * Reword to Throughout the game, players control a child and complete objectives in order to progress through the story.
 * ✅--IDVtalk 12:36, 15 May 2016 (UTC)


 * Save points frequently appear in the world, refilling players' health while saving their progress.
 * Reword to Save points, which appear frequently in the game refill the players' health as well as saving their progress.
 * ✅--IDVtalk 12:36, 15 May 2016 (UTC)


 * Reference 1 is by JayIsGames and according to WP:VG/S, it is situationally reliable, when the article is written by Jay Bibby. This article is written by "Dora", so I'm unsure about its reliability. Can someone please double check the reliability of this site? With this said, everything said in the first paragraph is referenced by this source. <font color="#ff0000">Anarchyte <font color="#000"> (<font color="#EB4E4F">work  &#124; <font color="#EB4E4F">talk )   03:41, 15 May 2016 (UTC)
 * Working on replacing this ref...--IDVtalk 00:47, 16 May 2016 (UTC)
 * ✅ Had to cut some minor stuff that wasn't covered in reliable sources, but it doesn't use the JayIsGames ref anymore.--IDVtalk 01:33, 16 May 2016 (UTC)


 * There's no reason for the 3rd reference to be after the first line in the 2nd paragraph. The 2nd reference does a good job at covering everything said. It's mentioned 1 line later, anyway.
 * ✅--IDVtalk 23:43, 15 May 2016 (UTC)


 * For some boss encounters to be completed peacefully,
 * Add In order for some[...] to the start of this sentence.
 * ✅--IDVtalk 12:36, 15 May 2016 (UTC)


 * Monsters will converse with players during battle, and the game updates players on the monster's feelings and actions.
 * Reword to Monsters will converse with players during the battles, and the game will tell the players what the monster's feelings and actions are.
 * ✅--IDVtalk 12:36, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

Plot

 * Underground or underground? (See )


 * When Asriel returned their body to the humans, they attacked and killed him, leading Asgore to declare war
 * Would this be better as When Asriel returned their body to the humans, they attacked and killed him, resulting in Asgore declaring war?
 * ✅ Yeah, I think that works better.--IDVtalk 12:36, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

Development

 * A statistic could be added here, after The campaign was launched on June 25, 2013 with a goal of US$5,000; it ended on July 25, 2013, with US$51,124 raised by 2,398 people.
 * The campaign was launched on June 25, 2013 with a goal of US$5,000; it ended on July 25, 2013, with US$51,124 raised by 2,398 people (1022.48% of the original goal). Referenced by Ref16
 * ✅--IDVtalk 00:13, 16 May 2016 (UTC)


 * Reword The idea for the game originated when Fox created a battle system using the game creation system GameMaker: Studio, which Undertale followed.
 * Undertale's creation ensued after Fox created a battle system using the game creation system GameMaker: Studio. Ensued could also be followed, was a result of, etc
 * ✅--IDVtalk 00:13, 16 May 2016 (UTC)


 * Ref17 (Existential Gamer) isn't listed at WP:VG/S
 * Ref18 (seagaia) is a WP:BLOG and is probably unreliable. Isn't listed at WP:VG/S either
 * Those two are interviews. They're fine to use. GamerPro64  16:48, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

Game design

 * Everything's fine here

Writing

 * See above message about Ref18

Music

 * Everything's fine here

Release

 * Everything's fine here, I don't see any way this could be expanded or chaged

Reception

 * The comparison (in the 4th reference) to Cave Story could probably been included towards the end
 * ✅, I think. Unsure how exactly you want this to be implemented.--IDVtalk 00:27, 16 May 2016 (UTC)
 * Not entirely necessary, but I meant something along the lines of "Destructoid writer Ben Davis gave Undertale a 10/10 and compared it to Cave Story, as it handles its mechanics in the same manner". <font face="Papyrus"><font color="#ff0000">Anarchyte <font color="#000"> (<font color="#EB4E4F">work  &#124; <font color="#EB4E4F">talk )   06:37, 16 May 2016 (UTC)


 * Remove Ref43. Unnecessary, it's not used anywhere else and there are already 2 more references referencing that cult statement. Cliqist also isn't listed on WP:VG/S.
 * ✅--IDVtalk 00:17, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

Accolades

 * Everything's fine here

Overall review
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:
 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. Has an appropriate reference section:
 * B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc: - There's the occasional plot inclusion debate, but that's about it.
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail: (Passed)
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc: - There's the occasional plot inclusion debate, but that's about it.
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail: (Passed)
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail: (Passed)
 * Pass or Fail: (Passed)

Putting on hold until the errors get responses/fixed. <font face="Papyrus"><font color="#ff0000">Anarchyte <font color="#000"> (<font color="#EB4E4F">work  &#124; <font color="#EB4E4F">talk )   07:00, 15 May 2016 (UTC)
 * I left two replies with questions above, under and, but other than that I think all points have been fixed or otherwise addressed now.--IDVtalk 01:33, 16 May 2016 (UTC)
 * I've responded to your comment in Reception, but as it's such a minor thing, I'm gonna pass this article. <font face="Papyrus"><font color="#ff0000">Anarchyte <font color="#000"> (<font color="#EB4E4F">work  &#124; <font color="#EB4E4F">talk )   06:39, 16 May 2016 (UTC)