Talk:United Nations Secretariat Building/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Adog (talk · contribs) 02:51, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

I will take on this review. Likely to complete it throughout this week (Thursday, August 3, will be my sit-down-to-fully-review date) as I have to complete some interviews to get out of the dog pound. Adog ( Talk ・ Cont ) 02:51, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

Below are some grammar and structure suggestions that the editor-at-large could implement. If it is improper or not appropriate, the sentence or phrase can stay as is:

Lead

 * ... and is connected with other buildings in the UN headquarters. could be changed to ... and connected with other UN headquarter buildings. if you wish to reduce the in-between words.
 * Done (I went with "UN headquarters buildings" because the word "headquarters" is part of the phrase "UN headquarters", rather than an adjective). Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Within a decade, the Secretariat Building was overcrowded, prompting the UN to build additional office space in the area. The phrase "in the area" can be omitted.
 * I changed this to "nearby" to avoid giving the impression that the new office space was in the Secretariat Building. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * The following sentence, "which was" can be omitted.
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * The Secretariat Building was renovated starting in 2010, and it reopened in phases from July to December 2012. "it" can be removed.
 * Done. I removed the comma as well, following the principles outlined in Sammi Brie's excellent essay User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Site

 * The Secretariat Building is directly connected to the Conference Building (housing the Security Council) at its northeast, as well as the Dag Hammarskjöld Library to the south. "as well as" is a little off. Maybe ... with the Dag Hammarskjöld Library to the south. or ... and the Dag Hammarskjöld Library to the south. "Located" could be inserted between "Library" and "to". Up to you.
 * I've rephrased this to "The Secretariat Building is directly connected to the Conference Building (housing the Security Council) at its northeast and the Dag Hammarskjöld Library to the south." Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * In addition, it is indirectly connected to the United Nations General Assembly Building to the north, Comma can be removed.
 * I removed the comma and "in addition", as that conjunction is not needed. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * In addition, the Millennium Hilton New York One UN Plaza hotel (within One and Two United Nations Plaza) are to the northwest. "are" to "is" since it is a singular hotel.
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Architecture
Form and facade
 * north–south has an endash where I believe the hyphen is proper.
 * This seems to fall under MOS:ENBETWEEN (where an endash may be used "in compounds when the connection might otherwise be expressed with to, versus, and, or between"). In this case, the sentence is equivalent to "... the longer axis is oriented north to south", so it appears that the endash is correct here. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Curtain walls
 * The reflective glass was chosen largely ... "chosen largely" could be "chosen mainly" or "mainly chosen".
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * The windows on different stories are separated by spandrel panels. can be changed to Spandrel panels separate the windows on different stories.
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Floors 6, 16, 28, and 39 contain pipe galleries rather than glass panels, Comma can be removed.
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Structural features
 * The piles were installed in sets of 5 to 20 and range from 50 to 90 ft (15 to 27 m) deep. "range" to "ranged" since "were" is past tense.
 * I actually changed "the piles were" to "the piles are", since the piles still exist. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * north–south has an endash where I believe the hyphen is proper. Same with the "west-east".
 * Please see my note above regarding MOS:ENBETWEEN. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * The ten north–south bays are all 28 ft (8.5 m) wide, but the three west–east bays are all of different width. "width" to "widths"?
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Interior
 * ... as well as two freight elevators serving all stories. "as well as" to "and".
 * I reworded the sentence to avoid giving the impression that there were three banks of two freight elevators each. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Lower stories
 * One of the basement levels contains the radio department of United Nations Department of Public Information. Missing "the" between "of" and "United".
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * All entryways, and all corridors in the building near the elevator banks, also contained black-and-white terrazzo floors. There are three instances of "contain" near each other in this paragraph. I would probably favor this sentence to replace the word with "feature" or a similar synonym.
 * Yeah, I tend to overuse that word... Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Similar to repeat words, some uses of "originally" could be turned into "initially".
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Offices
 * The offices are divided into modules measuring 4 ft (1.2 m) wide, with movable partitions that align with the mullions on the facade. could be The offices are divided into modules measuring 4 ft (1.2 m) wide, with movable partitions aligning with the facade's mullions.
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * The Secretary-General's conference room contained various pieces of furniture designed by Austrian architects and a watercolor by Raoul Dufy ... Is a "watercolor" a watercolor painting or artwork, or maybe the wall is watercolored? If the last part, that would be funny. I know the UN has some floor-to-ceiling artwork. Maybe that is literal.
 * Sadly, it's just a painting, not the entire wall. But it would be funny if the entire wall was a watercolor. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

I will pick the rest of the grammar hunt in the morning. Adog ( Talk ・ Cont ) 03:42, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

History
Development
 * ... with the intention of creating ... can be turned into "to create" or "intending to create".
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Construction
 * This, along with other modifications, was expected to save US$3 million. "This" can present an unclear antecedent. "The reduction in stories" could be subbed in.
 * Fixed (I went with "The height reduction"). Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * A bucket of earth was removed to mark the start of construction for the basement of the Secretariat Building. Runs a little awkward. I would suggest The commencement of Secretariat Building's basement construction was marked by the removal of a bucket of soil.
 * I went with "Workers removed a bucket of soil to mark the start of work on the Secretariat Building's basement." Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * It was believed that if enough countries designed their own rooms, the UN would be able to reduce its own expenditures. Both instances of "own" could be removed since "their" and "its" assigns the subject, but removing only the latter instance would be best.
 * I only removed the latter instance of "own". If I removed the former instance of "own", it may imply that the countries designed rooms for each other. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * ... even as Harrison argued that the feature would not only be expensive ... "not only be expensive" can be arranged as "be not only expensive".
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

UN expansion
 * (three quarters of the total staff) hyphen for "three quarters"
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Following sentence, "That year Secretary-General" needs a comma between "year" and "Secretary-General".
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * By then, the Secretariat Building was nearing capacity, and some organizations such as UNICEF had been forced to relocate. Commas needed for ",such as UNICEF,"
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * ... and the Secretariat Building's cafeteria had been converted ... "had been" to "was".
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Maintenance issues and renovation proposals
 * Because the headquarters was extraterritorial territory ... "an" can be added between "was" and "extraterritorial".
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * The report recommended renovating the UN headquarters over a six-year period ... "a six-year period" can be "six years".
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * The UN then decided to renovate its existing structures over a seven-year period ... Same as above.
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Impact

 * Architectural critic Lewis Mumford regarded the building as a "superficial aesthetic triumph and an architectural failure" that was only enlivened during the nighttime, when the offices were illuminated. Comma can be removed after nighttime.
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * The 2005 film The Interpreter was the first to actually be filmed inside the headquarters. "actually" can be omitted.
 * Done. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

The rest of my skim through for grammar and structure checks. I will be reading the article thoroughly today. Article is looking good, looking good. Adog ( Talk ・ Cont ) 13:28, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Other issues and additional findings

 * Citation 7, it does support the statement, although the page cited I think is wrong. On page 4 (whether that is the PDF page or Section 4), it does not have the information pertaining to the inline statement. I believe it is found on page 12 (technically 2 on PDF).
 * The Secretariat's architects had wanted to design the massing as a slab without any setbacks. I would omit "had" in the section "Form and facade".
 * There was also a dumbwaiter ... Hahaha, I would link dumbwaiter in the first instance since I had never heard of this term. In "Interior".
 * Link for asbestos in first mention. In "Maintenance issues and renovation proposals".


 * A very good read. Some headspace thoughts: It was interesting to see the different designs that were proposed for the building (especially that stretched dome with the double towers resting atop). Got to learn a lot about one of the more stand-out buildings in NYC. I have a good couple of photos of it on my phone, and with some selfies from the nearby river, iconic. As a kid driving to the bank with my parents, seeing a pneumatic tube was futuristic and cool to me. Knowing the UN Secretariat had that is cool in itself. Also, c'mon, Le Corbusier, taking all the credit? Tsk, tsk. Ouch, the UN struggles to fund itself, and ouch architects hate it. Adog  ( Talk ・ Cont ) 16:05, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Well written + coverage
The article is well written, with no overtly strenuous grammar flaws or sentence structure failures like the leaky windows. There is no original research. The article is covered broadly by a variety of sources and has its focus set on the subject. I spot-checked at least 3 sources per section. Sources I could not access I matched with an available source or AGF. All matched and were good. I always gotta double check. Adog ( Talk ・ Cont ) 16:05, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Verifiability

 * Article has no copyright problems via Earwigs. Reference layout is proper, and cites reliable sources in the article, no missing citations as I see. Adog  ( Talk ・ Cont ) 13:50, 3 August 2023 (UTC)

Stability + images

 * Looks good. No active or ongoing major disputes that are disrupting the article's growth potential and collaboration. Images look good in the article and are relevant. No copyright issues that I can see, paperwork looks good. Adog  ( Talk ・ Cont ) 03:42, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the detailed review . I've addressed all of these issues now. Epicgenius (talk) 15:47, 3 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Awesome, I was just finishing up the article when you addressed these issues. Just have some minor add-ons. I believe this article is almost to promotion. Adog  ( Talk ・ Cont ) 16:05, 3 August 2023 (UTC)