Talk:United States recognition of Jerusalem as capital of Israel/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Chetsford (talk · contribs) 00:02, 17 February 2018 (UTC)


 * I tried resectioning and I don't think putting all the responses into one section is an improvement. It negatively effects the navigability of the table of contents and I didn't see any part of MOS:LAYOUT that would require it, but let me know if I missed something.


 * I don't think the citation style has to be consistent for GA?


 * I can look into removing PressTV. I think it is generally reliable, but a GA should have higher standards. Also Milli Gazette.


 * You wrote as the embassy is the ambassador and his entourage, not a building. - the embassy is also a building, and the source doesn't say anything about a chancery.


 * Will implement the prose corrections and appreciate the thorough proofreading. Ditto for commas.


 * Ultimately, in my opinion, the response of states and quasi-state actors (e.g. UN, EU), should be differentiated from the response of individuals and interest groups (e.g. churches and political parties), instead of jumbled all up together. - I've split the European response into two sections to make it clearer. Churches are already in a different section.


 * The one issue I do have, however, is that the article - as written - indicates this was a personal action of Donald Trump. - The article says "President Trump" to introduce him and Trump afterwards, which is the standard practice. "President" makes it perfectly clear he was not speaking in a personal capacity. I also think it is more neutral this way—the article is going to be around after this presidency is concluded and I don't see any detriment to its neutrality to identify which President it was, nor any benefit to making this intentionally vague or removing information/wikilinks.


 * Adding more images isn't a problem.


 * I can review it to see if some of the extra details can be trimmed, without disrupting the article's stability. And will look into adding some of the Congressional reactions. Seraphim System  ( talk ) 20:04, 17 February 2018 (UTC)
 * Seraphim System - I have a large volume of additional comments to add so, to save yourself time, you may want to hold off on any edits for now. Chetsford (talk) 20:47, 17 February 2018 (UTC)
 * Re citations I could make time to do some extra cleanup just to keep it neat, but I'd prefer to go through the content issues first and save citations for last after everything else is resolved - if it stays stable and everything else is ready to pass, I will do the citation cleanup. Seraphim System  ( talk ) 20:52, 17 February 2018 (UTC)
 * No problem. Since there are a lot of grammar issues here, would you want to consider submitting this to the WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors for a copyedit before GA review? Chetsford (talk) 21:17, 17 February 2018 (UTC)
 * A lot of editors worked on the article, and I should have done a full copyedit before nominating for GA, I can do it now - I don't know if GOCE is necessary, but we can also do that if you prefer. Seraphim System ( talk ) 07:02, 18 February 2018 (UTC)

Checklist:
 * ✅ standardize date formats
 * ✅ separate EU from political parties
 * ✅ standardize U.S. => US
 * ✅ change article title to "United States recognition of Jerusalem as Israeli capital"

Copyedits:
 * "Palestinians burned Donald Trump's portraits and effigies" => "Palestinians burned portraits and effigies of Donald Trump"
 * "Hundreds of Muslim attended the Friday prayers outside the White House in respond" => "Hundreds of Muslims attended the Friday prayers outside the White House, in response"
 * "Mr. Obama" => Obama
 * which declared the statement of policy that => which declared that
 * living abroad => living
 * 1,200 anti-Israel and anti-American protesters => More than a thousand anti-Israel and anti-American protesters
 * and burnt flags => burned flags
 * variously

Seraphim System ( talk ) 07:07, 18 February 2018 (UTC)
 * Here's the second round of review; a few new items but also some items from the first round still need correcting -
 * "ordered the planning of the relocation" --> "ordered planning for the relocation"
 * A great many sentences omit the definite article (e.g. Hundreds demonstrated outside US embassy in Amman, demanding its closure and the expulsion of the US charge d'affaires from Jordan. or Two Palestinians were killed and 120 injured in clashes on December 22, according to Palestinian Health Ministry.) which needs to be corrected throughout.
 * At several points, the article swings between present and past tense (e.g. The United States also issues a general warning for Americans abroad about the possibility of violent protests.) which needs resolution.
 * For all web and news citations, access date fields need to be added throughout article (in cases in which they aren't already, which are a great many).
 * Citations don't always use the appropriate citation templates. A large number of news sources use Template:Cite web, instead of Template: Cite news, which means information like publication dates are omitted. This should be corrected throughout article.
 * Commas should be added before introducing a mid-sentence quote throughout (e.g. On December 8 Assistant Secretary of State David M. Satterfield said "There has been no change in our policy with respect to consular practice or passport issuance at this time." needs a comma after "said".)
 * Some of the sources are out of order, for example in the first paragraph in the lede citation 5 precedes citation 4.
 * Before beginning to use "IDF" as an acronym for "Israeli Defense Forces" the acronym needs to be introduced following the first instance of invocation.
 * Chetsford (talk) 20:56, 23 February 2018 (UTC)
 * Seraphim System as it's been a week now and there doesn't seem to have been any further momentum here, but we realistically have a few more rounds of edits to go through, I'm going to wrap-up this review tomorrow so you can continue working on it in a closed state. Chetsford (talk) 05:33, 2 March 2018 (UTC)


 * As it appears this GA review has been abandoned, I'm closing it as failed for now, with no prejudice for picking it up in the future. Chetsford (talk) 06:19, 3 March 2018 (UTC)