Talk:Unser Mund sei voll Lachens, BWV 110/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Yash! (talk · contribs) 12:33, 21 December 2015 (UTC)

Short and a sweet one. Will be done by tomorrow.  Ya  sh  !   12:33, 21 December 2015 (UTC)

Lead

 * Shouldn't "Thomaskantor" be in italics?
 * done --GA


 * "different kinds of oboe" -> "different oboes"
 * not sure, - would people understand that it's as different as oboe d'amore and oboe da caccia? --GA


 * "3 oboes (oboe d'amore, oboe da caccia)" - there are three but why two in the bracket?
 * If it wasn't in brackets, the reader might arrive at 5, but three players play different kinds in different movements. --GA


 * "He derived the first chorus..." - can we start this as a separate paragraph? So that the bulk of the text can be a bit more evenly distributed.
 * I made a break for the switch from text to music. --GA

Background, history and words

 * "the first day of Christmas, which was celebrated for three days." - it is a bit confusing to me. Perhaps a hatnote or a bit of explanation about why the first day was celebrated for three days?
 * Christmas was celebrated for three days ;) --GA


 * "In his first year" - do mention which year it was.
 * done --GA


 * Perhaps a link for "librettist"?
 * done --GA


 * A slight confusion. Is something wrong here or am I missing something?
 * The lead: "The text has no recitatives alternating with arias, but instead three biblical quotations,"
 * The prose: "In this early text, three biblical quotations alternate with arias"
 * Sorry, don't get the question. Normally recitatives alternate with arias, but not here, where it's biblical text in different musical forms, only one a recitative --GA


 * "but the find of the printed text showed that there was no relation." -> "but the discovery of the printed text showed that it was not related."
 * taken, may the original writer forgive me ;) --GA


 * "The cantata was not published until 1876 when it appeared in the Bach Gesellschaft Ausgabe, the first complete edition of the composer's works." - ref?
 * Please look in the free score (first item under "sources"), - I don't know how to make the template an inline citation, --GA


 * Instead of using "Background, history and words", I believe only "History" or Background and history" will do it.
 * dropped background instead --GA

Music

 * "was already old-fashioned when Bach composed it" - can we use some another term for "old-fashioned"?
 * I don't know a good equivalent. The text has an old feel compared to others Bach set at the time. --GA
 * "outmoded" (my favorite), "dilapidated" (my second favorite), "antiquated", "tattered", or "worn out" perhaps?  Ya  sh  !   05:30, 23 December 2015 (UTC)
 * My lack of English,never heard the first, so am unsure. The others don't work because theysound negative to me.Will try to say it in prose then. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 07:53, 23 December 2015 (UTC)


 * "The opening chorus is "Unser Mund sei voll Lachens" (May our mouth be full of laughter), It" - let's end all our sentences with a period.
 * yes ;) --GA


 * "seemed suitable" - seemed suitable according to? Better to add "according to XX" or rephrase it.
 * according to everybody then, - they treated the heavenly king as the secular one, - how to say that better?
 * Something like "was used" or "was preferred" or "was selected" maybe?  Ya  sh  !   05:30, 23 December 2015 (UTC)


 * "even more variety" -> "more variety" - 'more' is already a tricky word to use and 'even more' is even worse ;)
 * dropped "even" --GA


 * "Dürr interprets th choice" -> "Dürr interprets the choice"
 * don't you think it's easier for you to simply change such an obvious mistake? --GA
 * Yes, but I was on my phone and my Chrome chrases every time I try to edit any prose that is even less in size than that. Any good suggestions for a new Android phone? ;)  Ya  sh  !   05:30, 23 December 2015 (UTC)


 * Link for Klaus Hofmann?
 * yes --GA


 * "shining over" - "shining" is subjective and best to be removed.
 * yes, especially as it was part of a copyvio section, good catch! --GA


 * "energetic music" - "energetic" again a subjective term. Can you think of some other word?
 * the source has "demands all the more energetically" - how would you suggest to summarize that? --GA
 * Can't think of any better alternative.  Ya  sh  !   05:30, 23 December 2015 (UTC)


 * "When the text refers to the strings, the winds have a rest." - what does the "wind" refer to?
 * the winds from the table header, - linked for clarity

That should be enough :)  Ya  sh  !   18:30, 22 December 2015 (UTC)


 * Thanks for looking carefully, - tried to fix what I could, --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:01, 22 December 2015 (UTC)


 * Great work again Gerda :) - passing it!  Ya  sh  !   11:18, 23 December 2015 (UTC)