Talk:Up (Inna song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 19:40, 23 January 2022 (UTC)

Picking this GAN up for a review if that is okay with you. Aoba47 (talk) 19:40, 23 January 2022 (UTC)

Lead and infobox

 * I would make this part, released for digital download and streaming on 22 October 2021 as a single by Warner Music Poland and Global Records, into its own sentence to avoid having the lead sentence be overly long. I would phrase it as
 * The lead says that the remix features Sean Paul, while the article says he is a co-lead artist, which is a different thing.
 * I have two comments for this sentence: "Up" has been described as a dancehall-influenced pop song, with its lyrics describing a healing love. I would avoid having described and describing in the same sentence as it is rather repetitive. I would also either clarify who describes the song as a dancehall-influenced pop song (i.e. critics, etc.) or just say.
 * For this part, selected music critics gave positive reviews of the song, I do not think selected is necessary.
 * Link music video in the lead since it is linked in the article and both should be consistent.
 * I would highly encourage you to have ALT text for both of the covers.
 * I have considered doing this, but to be very honest, I do not know how to word the ALTs for these images. They are kind of complex in a way and I don't feel like I have the vocabulary to describe what's going on in there. Would you consider helping me out? :/
 * For the first one, you could say something simple like "Cover of Inna's single showing the singer wearing a pink outfit while standing in a courtyard". It looks like a courtyard area to me, but substitute a different word if I am wrong. For the second one, you could go with something like "Alternative cover with images of Inna and Sean Paul inside the song's title 'Up'". Aoba47 (talk) 22:58, 24 January 2022 (UTC)

Background and release

 * I would suggest rewriting the following sentence to avoid the passive tense and to use something different than the wording already used in the lead: "Up" was written by Elena Alexandra Apostoleanu (Inna), Sebastian Barac, Marcel Botezan, Alex Cotoi and Minelli, while the production was handled by Barac, Botezan and Cotoi. I think something like:
 * I am guessing that there is not any further production information, such as who mixed and recorded the song and where these processes were done, but I want to still ask if this information is available? With these types of singles, they do not have liner notes or anything, so it seems like this information is not as readily available as singles that get a physical release in some format.
 * That information, as you said, is sadly unavailable :/
 * That is what I figured, but thank you for letting me know. That's what sucks about digital only singles like this. The credit really should be made public and I wish digital liner notes were more of a thing, but that is unlikely to happen or change in the future. Aoba47 (talk) 22:58, 24 January 2022 (UTC)

Composition and lyrical interpretation

 * I would shorten the section title to just Composition and lyrics.
 * I have a comment about this part, featuring Inna singing about "overcoming past hurt and disappointment [and] opening her heart up again", as well as about "a love that lifts [her] up when everything in life seems to be going in the opposite direction". I would avoid just having quotes in the prose without direct attribution about who is saying them.
 * I have been told in the past to not just include lyrics unless there is some sort of critical commentary or description. For that reason, I would either remove the following sentence or find more information to support its inclusion: Lyrics include: "Once upon a time, there was a girl who made a wish / To find herself a love and finally make a switch / Then you came around, you healed another stitch / And I'm glad about that, I can finally make the switch".
 * I would still keep the lyrics since they echo the song's positiveness, as noted by the few critics that commented on it. However, I removed the Sean Paul lyrics since I saw them as quite redundant as I took another look at them.
 * I am still not entirely convinced, but I do see your point and if it is helpful for some readers, then it should be fine for a GA. Aoba47 (talk) 22:58, 24 January 2022 (UTC)


 * I am not really sure what you mean by "alteration" in this part, prompted a viral use of "Up" on the social networking service TikTok due to the title word's alteration.
 * This is again a case where I don't quite have the right vocabulary. The song's catchiness lies in her repeating "Up" multiple times. But she doesn't just repeat "Up", she alterates it to "Up-p-p-p-p-p", so the last "p" is repeated multiple times. Do you get me now somehow? You can listen to the song if you need to. However, the article says that this is why it's trending on TikTok - because of this fun thing Inna does melodically. Do you have other words to describe the matter in a clearer way?
 * To be honest, I am not sure if alteration is entirely right, but I cannot think of a different word either so it should be okay. Since the lyrics are included in the sentence anyway, that should clear up any potential confusion. Aoba47 (talk) 22:58, 24 January 2022 (UTC)


 * I have the same comment about quote attribution for this quote, "optimistic about his chance for romance", and I do not think it is encouraged to use that many lyrics in the article. The quoted part from Paul's contributions seems overly long to me.

Reception

 * The lead says that this song received positive reviews, but this section does not clearly say that. From what I am seeing, there are only two reviews of this song so that is not enough to establish a consensus like the one stated in the lead anyway.
 * I would think of a better transition word than "Meanwhile" in this sentence: Meanwhile, Urban Islandz's Anna-Kaye Kerr commended Sean Paul's appearance as "smooth".
 * I would make the commercial/chart performance into its own paragraph as it is a separate topic from the critical reviews and it would make the prose more readable and more organized for readers.
 * I don't really think this is necessary. There are only around 5 lines in this paragraph, I think the reader doesn't get lost. And also I don't like how very short paragraphs look :/ Could still do that change if you insist, though.
 * That is a fair point. I have a personal pet peeve with really short sections so I think we all have our own thing. It is not that big a deal, and it could just boil down to personal preference. Aoba47 (talk) 22:58, 24 January 2022 (UTC)

Music videos and promotion

 * For this part, Mortu saw Inna as being "stylish" in the visual, I would encourage you to paraphrase "stylish". I would avoid one-word quotes like this and "quirky" later on in the same section.
 * This part, with her mainly being portrayed in the same setting that the single's cover art was shot in, is rather awkwardly worded. I would revise it to something like,.
 * I have a comment for this sentence: It was well-received, receiving over 1.2 million views in less than a day. Just because a lot of people watch something, it does not make well-received. I would cut that part and just say the views.
 * I have the same comment about the unattributed quotes as I did in the previous section. This comment is directed at this quote, "gyrat[es], which kick[s] into overdrive as everyone g[ets] up and start[s] partying, even dancing on top of the bar".
 * This could very well be a cultural thing, but I would avoid using the word "females" as done in this part, with other females behind her. Just say women.
 * I am guessing that she has not performed this song in other venues other than the one mentioned in the article?
 * Nope, that was the only time she performed the song live. If anything else happens in the meantime, I'll happily add it :)
 * Thank you for the update. I actually enjoyed the early part of the performance where she did something different with the song. She sounded great on it and it is honestly the best I've heard her, but it could just a cultural thing as I am American. Aoba47 (talk) 22:58, 24 January 2022 (UTC)

I hope that my review is helpful. I have only focused on the prose for now and once everything has been addressed, I will look at the citations. Have a great rest of your weekend! Aoba47 (talk) 20:07, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Hi there and thank you so much for your review :) I solved the majority of your comments, but left some replies here and there. Greets and have a nice day; Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:42, 24 January 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you for addressing everything. I have responded to your responses. I understand and agree with your points. I will post a source review in a few. This is a cute song and honestly that's what the world needs right now is more just fun and silly music that is not taking itself too seriously. Aoba47 (talk) 22:58, 24 January 2022 (UTC)