Talk:Violin acoustics/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Aza24 (talk · contribs) 02:07, 10 June 2020 (UTC)

Amitchell125, I'm thrilled to see so much work put into this interesting article, I'm excited to review it. I'll give comments on the individual sections in the next 24 hours (at the absolute latest). Best - Aza24 (talk) 02:07, 10 June 2020 (UTC)

Some comments:

Lead

 * Maybe consider linking to this article: Violin construction and mechanics
 * Done. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:02, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * This line is kind of awkward: Perhaps it can be changed to:
 * Fixed. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:05, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * This line confuses me. Are you referring to "the strings" as the different types of strings on different violins or the differences of the 4 strings of a single violin? If it is the latter, as a Violinist myself, I thought that all the strings were made from the same material, with exception to maybe the E string. (If it is the former it should be rephrased)
 * It looks as if the two halves of the sentence should be more disconnected, i.e. The loudness and timbre of each of the strings is not the same, and the material used affects sound quality and ease of articulation. Apparently, there's quite a variety in the windings used for strings, which affects their physical properties. Sentence amended. Amitchell125 (talk) 09:49, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * The line could be a little more woven into the text, with something like:  (Or perhaps moven to the end of the next paragraph, after the vibration of a bowed string is explained)
 * Sentence moved and amended a bit. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:23, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * The line might be able to be phrased better. Are you saying that because the bridge rocks back and force, it allows the sound post act as a fulcrum?
 * Fulcrum bit taken out of the lead, replaced with more general comment. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:18, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Maybe in this line: a little more explanation could be used. Like:
 * Text added. Amitchell125 (talk) 15:01, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

Also, the third paragraph has 4 sentences in a row that begin with "The"

"The player can control bow speed, the force used, the position of the bow on the string, and the amount of hair in contact with the string. The static forces acting on the bridge, which supports one end of the strings' playing length, are large. The bridge is forced to rock back and forth, with the sound post acting as a fulcrum. The body of a violin is strong enough to resist the tension from the strings, but also light enough to vibrate properly."

Surely one or two of these can be changed :)
 * Issue addressed. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:11, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

Historical background

 * I'm hesitant with the inclusion of Pythagoras's years "(c. 570 – c. 495 BC)," you don't include years for most of the other people in this paragraph, so it might be best just to take these out. I would recommend altering the sentence to {{talk quote inline|The nature of vibrating strings was studied by the ancient Ionian Greek philosopher Pythagoras
 * Done. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:28, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * It looks like you have years for Félix Savart and Hermann von Helmholtz, I think these are still unnecessary, since you introduce what century they are from and their nationality already. If you disagree, than the other solution would be to add years to all of the other notable people in this paragraph, Vincenzo Galilei and Galileo Galilei come to mind.
 * Agreed, dates removed. Amitchell125 (talk) 09:52, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * A year or more likely century is probably needed for Vincenzo Galilei. (In the XX century Vincenzo Galilei pioneered...)(This being said, introducing Vincenzo as "Italian" would probably be a good idea too)
 * Done. Amitchell125 (talk) 10:49, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Perhaps "violin makers" could be linked to Violin making and maintenance?
 * Linked to History of the violin instead, as the violin making article doesn't (yet) refer to the history of violin making. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:34, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

Strings

 * Maybe this line can be a little more clear about how "fingertip contact alone is enough." Like adding that "in some cases any (amount of?) fingertip contact is enough"
 * Sentence amended. Amitchell125 (talk) 11:20, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * This line: is phrased in perhaps an unnecessary way. Maybe it could be changed to something along the lines of ?
 * Done. Amitchell125 (talk) 15:05, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Maybe change to ?
 * Done. Amitchell125 (talk) 10:24, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Why is the specific measurements given for a viola but not a violin? After all this is "Violin Acoustics."
 * Done, reluctantly (I play the viola). Amitchell125 (talk) 14:00, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

Tension

 * I linked Young's modulus.
 * I also added "(T)" after tension since you listed all of the other variables. (Perhaps this is implied, but consistency is important)
 * Looks good otherwise

Length

 * Looks good

Materials

 * I added "some professional musicians"
 * Looks good

The bridge

 * Maybe use "soundboard" instead of "belly"? (Since you only introduce the term "belly" later in the article)
 * Sentence amended. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:44, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Looks good otherwise

The bow

 * not really sure what "beyond" means in this context.
 * I've amended the sentence, please let me know if I need to work on it some more to get across what I mean. Amitchell125 (talk) 09:26, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Is there a specific reason that Pernambuco wood is capitalized?
 * Opinion between sources seems evenly divided, but it is named after the state in Brazil (similar to Stilton cheese, Brazil nuts). Amitchell125 (talk) 08:58, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * I find this hard to believe. (Although correct me if I am wrong!) Maybe "one of the only examples in physics..." is more appropriate.
 * Sentence amended to quote authors directly, noting their paper was written 16 years ago, and—my apologies—correcting the page in the reference. Amitchell125 (talk) 10:48, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * I see that you link decibel, maybe Hertz should linked too when it is first used in the "strings" section?
 * Done. Amitchell125 (talk) 09:14, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

Physics of bowing

 * I'm not really sure what this means, are you trying to say that moving the bow closer to the bridge can increase the volume. Even if that's not your intention, a little more clarification would be helpful.
 * Text clarified. Amitchell125 (talk) 10:17, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * I don't know if "author" is the best way to describe Walter Piston, he's a rather famous composer and music theorist, the latter seems most appropriate in this context.
 * Sentence amended (kept 'author' he was a published university professor). Amitchell125 (talk) 10:17, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

Helmholtz motion
To be completely honest, this section was a tough read for me, terminology wise. However, I don't think that's a pressing concern, from what I could see everything looked good.

The body

 * can probably become:
 * Sorted. Amitchell125 (talk) 11:13, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * "A high quality instrument" seems like it would fit better than
 * Done. Amitchell125 (talk) 10:19, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * You refer to Hertz as the whole word here, when earlier you just use "Hz." One or the other should be used throughout.
 * Hz used throughout now. Amitchell125 (talk) 09:05, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Violin making and maintenance could be a "see also" at the top of this section?
 * Good idea, done. Amitchell125 (talk) 09:18, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

The bass bar and the sound post

 * This section looks good

Wolf tones

 * Surely Wolf tone can be linked?
 * Sorted. Amitchell125 (talk) 08:48, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * The rest of this section looks good

Comparison with other members of the violin family

 * Not sure why you start referring to it as a "cello" when you have exclusively used "violoncello" every time before this, I would stay consistent"
 * Now 'cello' throughout. Amitchell125 (talk) 09:13, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * Since you bring up the double bass at the beginning of this section, I think a final line or two on the comparisons of the double bass would be worthwhile.
 * Done. Amitchell125 (talk) 13:47, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

General

 * You tend to overlink some things, especially instruments. Make sure that viola, cello and double bass are only linked in their first mention in the lead and first mention in the rest of the text.
 * Fixed. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:32, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * There's two disambiguation links you need to sort out
 * Sorted. Amitchell125 (talk) 10:58, 11 June 2020 (UTC)


 * I went ahead and made all the multiple page number references "–" instead of "-", I believe that is the correct formatting.

Overall
This is a super solid article so congratulations on that! Most of my suggestions and edits were very nitpicky which further proves the good work you've done here. I will be placing this on hold while you review my suggestions. (Side note – a fascinating read as well, I myself wasn't aware of a lot of these things even when I play the violin) Aza24 (talk) 00:08, 11 June 2020 (UTC)

GA progress - Pass
, congratulations on a wonderful article! All of my concerns have been properly addressed and as a result this undoubtedly meets the GA criteria. The content and the way as to which it is presented is remarkable. Aza24 (talk) 21:24, 11 June 2020 (UTC)