Talk:Vontaze Burfict/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 05:33, 28 October 2022 (UTC)

A lot of comma and tidying work to do. References could use more metadata, and some seem lost to time, unfortunately. You will want to run IABot when it comes back and I may even have to pass the page conditional on a later bot run if it is still down. 7-day hold to. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 06:53, 28 October 2022 (UTC)

Copy changes
Items labeled (C in S) refer to User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences.

A general observation: a surprisingly high number of paragraphs don't end in inline citations. If you want this at DYK after GA, that's a must to fix.

Lead

 * Burfict was a projected top pick in the 2012 NFL Draft, until an unimpressive NFL Combine performance and character concerns led to him not being selected. Remove comma (C in S)

High school

 * a CIF title, a state championship with the help of quarterback Taylor Martinez, This makes it seem like a CIF title is not the same thing as a state championship. Reword as "CIF state championship with the help of..."


 * "Burfict missed almost all of his sophomore season due to academic problems." Why is this after the junior section? It should be combined with that paragraph, with this coming first.


 * Burfict's rivalry with quarterback Matt Barkley, which would continue into their college days began in high school in a game against Barkley's Mater Dei High School, in which Burfict made hits aimed at Barkley's knees that Barkley would later describe at dirty, ironically both Burfict and Barkley were committed to USC when the incident occurred. This sentence is a ramblin' wreck! Commas, run-ons, typos, etc. And a use of "ironically", something I detest on Wikipedia. Try Burfict's rivalry with quarterback Matt Barkley, which would continue into their college days, began in high school. In a game against Barkley's Mater Dei High School, Burfict made hits aimed at Barkley's knees that Barkley would later describe as dirty. Both Burfict and Barkley were committed to USC when the incident occurred.

College

 * Burfict originally committed to USC, but eventually switched to Arizona State on National Signing Day. Remove comma (C in S)


 * to meet admission standard should be plural admission standards


 * Burfict did qualify on time for the 2009 football season. Have you a citation here?


 * By midseason, Burfict ranked second on the team with 30 tackles despite starting only three of six games, and had Remove comma (C in S)


 * and was named a Freshman All-American by College Football News, and by the Football Writers Association of America. Remove the comma and the "by". Maybe move both cites to the end.


 * He was also honored as the Pacific-10 Conference Defensive Freshman of the Year. Cite me, please!


 * In a game against Stanford, Burfict was called for grabbing the facemask of Doug Baldwin, and—after complaining to the referee—charged with a personal foul Remove the last comma (C in S)


 * team leading hyphenate


 * first 1st team change to "first first-team"...cite needed this sentence


 * Burfict was expected to take over as the leader of the Sun Devils defense in 2011, but eventually had a rather inconsistent junior season. Remove comma (C in S)

Professional career

 * Hyphenate "first-round" as an adjective (and "seventh round" later in this section) and "off-the-field" as one too. You might want to do some find and replace to find "off the field" and "on the field" and hyphenate it when used as an adjective (issues off the field, off-the-field issues).


 * as 20th best prospect "as the 20th-best prospect"


 * MOS:INOROUT — this quote is not a complete sentence, so quote before period.


 * Add "he" before "noted" to avoid this C in S issue; rather do this because of sentence length.


 * Burfict's draft stock would continue to slide with a poor showing at the NFL Scouting Combine, where he performed the majority of drills, but skipped the short shuttle and three-cone drills after injuring his hamstring on his second 40-yard dash attempt. Remove the second comma and get a citation.


 * On April 25, 2012, it was reported by Fox Sports insider Jay Glazer multiple add a "that" after Glazer


 * Hyphenate "ninth-best" and "tenth-best"


 * The Cincinnati Bengals finished second in the AFC North with a 10–6 record and earned a wildcard berth. On January 5, 2013, Burfict started his first career playoff game and recorded six combined tackles during the Bengals’ 13–19 loss at the Houston Texans in the AFC Wildcard Game. Citation please? Also, "Wild Card" is two words in the NFL.


 * as the teams starting that's "team's" with a possessive. this recurs twice in the paragraph


 * Browns’ running back no possessive here. This occurs several times throughout the rest of the article (plural team name + position).
 * ✅ Believe I fixed all of these but might have missed one.


 * Burfict sustained a concussion while sacking Ravens' quarterback Joe Flacco during the Bengals' season-opening 23–16 victory at the Baltimore Ravens. Redundant Ravens. Remove the first instance.


 * concussion related hyphenate


 * Link Physically unable to perform


 * 30-yards un-hyphenate


 * On August 30, 2017, Burfict appealed the suspension, and ultimately reduced the suspension to three games. Add "the NFL" or "the league" after the "and"
 * ✅ Added the league


 * Burfict's was ejected Remove stray possessive


 * On January 8, 2018, the Cincinnati Bengals announced their decision to hire Teryl Austin as the new defensive coordinator, who was previously the defensive coordinator for the Detroit Lions. Move the appositive (who was...Detroit Lions) to after "Austin".


 * "Leagues'" should be "league's"
 * During Week 4 against the Indianapolis Colts, Burfict made a helmet-to-helmet hit on Jack Doyle, and was ejected from the game. Remove the second comma (C in S)


 * Three days earlier, on October 6, the NFL notified Burfict that it discovered another illegal hit against the Colts when he made a helmet-to-helmet hit against Colts running back Nyheim Hines, although no penalty was called during that time. some tweaks: Three days earlier, on October 6, the NFL had notified Burfict that it discovered another illegal hit against in the game when he made a helmet-to-helmet hit against Colts running back Nyheim Hines, although no penalty was called at that time.


 * Since then, Burfict indicated add a "has" after "Burfict"

Personal life

 * His mother, a city transit bus driver, initially raised Burfict and his older half-brother DaShan Miller (b. 1986) on her own, but eventually remarried and moved to Corona Remove the last comma.


 * Corona Centennial High School, and later Remove comma (C in S)


 * Miller was eligible for the 2010 NFL Draft, but he went undrafted. Cite me!
 * ✅ Couldn't find direct source for this although by NFL draft rules he was eligible and went undrafted. Decided to remove this detail.

Legal issues

 * Are there any updates on this case?


 * He was released from jail, the same day on a $1,000 bond. Remove the comma here.

Sourcing and spot checks
Some notes:


 * The SBNation articles included are from staff writers. Consider adding the writers to the citation templates. There are a lot of news articles missing this kind of info!
 * ✅ Added writers and dates to all references that had said information. Replaced dead links.


 * There is a dead YouTube video reference, [32]. I suspect [33] might cover the material.


 * I strongly suggest archiving all references, particularly as I found two dead links!, but IABot is not properly functioning at this time. I may ping you later to suggest this.

Earwig turned up two sites copying us, which can be safely tossed. Other sources mostly are flagged for formulations and proper nouns like "in the 2009 U.S. Army All-American" and "season-high 11 tackles (three solo)".

For spot checks, 12 (10%) of the 121 references were selected at random. 15, 17, 39, 57, 68, 84, 94, 97, 106, 112, 117, 119


 * [15] — USA Today Super 25 shows Centennial at No. 24.
 * [17] — The link is dead. A version from 2008 is saved, but it has Burfict at #2. I'm presuming he was bumped up to #1 at some point. This may be lost to time. Does an RS mention his #1 ranking with Rivals?
 * ✅ Linked rivals rankings that have him at #1


 * [39] — Pauline's quote is verified. This is also a saved dead link.
 * [57] — NFL player stats. The site seems to be something broken right now for some reason, but I can't blame you for that. The URL also changed.
 * [68] — Lists Burfict as starting LB.
 * [84] — SBNation article on the two unsportsmanlike penalties to cost them the game.
 * [94] — Deadspin article. I think this is fine.
 * [97] — NFL.com article on Burfict's ejection.
 * [106] — NFL.com article on the four-game suspension for PEDs.
 * [112] — Six tackles (but it's in the Box Score section).
 * [117] — Checks out. Presumably nothing more has been said since.
 * [119] — Checks out. In their hometown of Corona, DaShan starred in high school, eventually playing wide receiver at UTEP and Akron

Other items

 * The images are all freely licensed, but none of them have alt text. It's not strictly a GA requirement, but it's one that I poke the bear on so that people learn of it.
 * ✅ I think I did this correctly but this is my first time adding alt tex so I could have made a mistake.
 * Everything looks great, and I'm almost ready to pass. Can a reference be found for Upon joining the active roster, Burfict was named the starting linebacker along with A. J. Hawk and Rey Maualuga.? That would allow you to take this to DYK. Sammi Brie  (she/her • t • c) 22:18, 28 October 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ Newtothisedit (talk) 22:52, 28 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Will pass. I enjoyed reading this. As an ASU product and football fan, I was definitely aware of Burfict's antics in his college days and the NFL. He made the maroon and gold seem like maroon and penalty flag yellow. Some of those teams under Dennis Erickson were utter flagfests. Sammi Brie  (she/her • t • c) 05:08, 29 October 2022 (UTC)