Talk:Vultures 1/GA2

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Nominator: 19:18, 30 March 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: MaranoFan (talk · contribs) 19:20, 28 June 2024 (UTC)

Will post a full review of this very soon! I became a Ye fan recently after hearing "Carnival", so this should be fun.--NØ 19:20, 28 June 2024 (UTC)


 * I'm surprised you became a West fan at this late stage, what took you until the release of "Carnival"? K. Peake 06:46, 29 June 2024 (UTC)
 * I might have been influenced by the Taylor Swift reference, lol.--NØ 18:31, 29 June 2024 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * "hip hop supergroup ¥$" is a triple MOS:SOB so this should probably be rephrased or lose one of the links.
 * "Production was primarily handled by West himself" - I don't think "himself" is necessary as it's better to be concise.
 * "It sustained multiple delays and changes to the tracklist before release" - Are you referring to the album here? I believe the antecedent is unclear here.
 * "but were not able to be included" - Maybe change this to "but could not be included"
 * "The album was initially distributed using the FUGA distribution platform" - Maybe just "FUGA platform" to avoid the repetition of "distribution"
 * "In contrast to West's previous two albums, Jesus Is King (2019) and Donda (2021), Vultures 1 finds him forgoing religious" - Do you think it would be okay not to name the previous two albums in the lead? It is quite long so that could be reserved for the body
 * " It further topped the charts in 17 regions" - Is there a source explicitly saying 17 regions? These claims usually require a source and counting the entries in the chart table is not considered appropriate.
 * ✅ all except the albums one, I feel it reads weird without it. I think if you mention something, you should name it. It would only reduce the lede by half a line anyway.  ULPS ( talk •  contribs ) 17:03, 30 June 2024 (UTC)

Background and recording

 * "West held a private listening event for the album in Italy on October 1, that Ty Dolla Sign attended and it was rumored they had been collaborating on the project" → West held a private listening event for the album in Italy on October 1, that Ty Dolla Sign attended, and it was rumored they had been collaborating on the project"
 * "you start to be popular again and he already knew West would reach that level, so celebrated at this point" → "you start to be popular again and he already knew West would reach that level and be so celebrated at this point" maybe? Although I'm not sure if this changes the meaning of the sentence.
 * ✅. Didn't use your suggestion for the second, but I think I made it clearer.  ULPS ( talk •  contribs ) 17:04, 30 June 2024 (UTC)


 * "West was joined during writing sessions in Dubai by British singer ZLYAH, who was taken aback by the invitation and that the rapper enjoyed his music since he saw him as an inspiration." - Unclear whether West or ZLYAH is taken aback
 * "West recalled the recording had large budget" - "had a large budget", probably
 * "were part of why Vultures 1 is superior to other albums." - do you mean his other albums or other albums in general as this is implying?
 * Does "the Jewish community" really need to be in quotes?
 * "West declared to TMZ that he was two months from bankruptcy before his relocation to Italy, providing his maximum effort" - Does this mean he was providing his maximum effort to creating quality material for the album? This could be slightly more elaborated.
 * ✅ all. For point 5, he meant other music in general. For the last point, he only really refers to his work in general (which could mean clothing and music) so I just specified "work."  ULPS ( talk •  contribs ) 16:28, 1 July 2024 (UTC)

Music and themes

 * "Mumbled" could be piped to Mumble rap, unless you mean something else.
 * "Steven J. Horowitz of Variety surmised the musicality as a collection 'of sharp aural moments that twists and shifts at each turn'" - I am not sure "surmised" is appropriate since that is used for things that cannot be confirmed by any evidence. Maybe "summarized" is what you mean to say?
 * "The New York Times journalist Jon Caramanica specified that the album reminds him" - Specified? It is probably best to stick to the common words like "thought", "believed" or "opined".
 * If "darkwave rap" here means the same thing as Dark wave then a wikilink would definitely be appropriate. People are unlikely to be familiar with it.
 * For the first point, its likely that they were referring to the unfinished nature of many recent Kanye songs, i.e. that they are not clear and finished verses. It's not an intentional mumbling like you would have in mumble rap. ✅ all others.  ULPS ( talk •  contribs ) 16:28, 1 July 2024 (UTC)

Songs

 * A link to Cancel culture somewhere would be appropriate.
 * "that invokes his 2022 appearance with conspiracy theorist Alex Jones" - I feel "evoke" would be more appropriate in this context.
 * "seeking out fame" - I think "seeking fame" works
 * Cancel culture is linked: In the lyrics, West references his rival Taylor Swift and calls out cancel culture. ✅ others.  ULPS ( talk •  contribs ) 16:28, 1 July 2024 (UTC)

Release and promotion

 * I am not sure the bit about "Everybody" sampling the Backstreet Boys needs to be repeated twice in the article. Perhaps, remove the mention here since it has little to do with "Release and promotion"
 * The wording here seems to suggest the release commemorating TCD's 20th anniversary was just a critical interpretation? This seems to contradict the lead, where it is stated as a definite fact. It should probably be consistent.
 * I am not sure it topping the Apple Music chart is noteworthy since it is a single vendor chart and this is not really something out of the ordinary for rap albums
 * "it has not been made available on YouTube Music" - "it was not made available on YouTube Music" since the source cannot support the fact indefinitely
 * "a list notably including Israel when considering West's antisemitic controversy and his lyrical references" - Did the source highlight Israel? I mean this does feel slightly extra
 * "Vultures 1 grossed around $1,000,000 in its opening week" I haven't seen "grossed" used often in terms of album sales. Maybe "earned" instead?
 * Honestly, the song "Everybody" was only known for being a glorified cover of the Backstreet Boys song and the part he previewed was the part ripped directly from the Backstreet Boys. I feel like it is important to specifically mention it and the song it samples, which isn't mentioned elsewhere. For the second point, you're right, it was never confirmed to be intentional, I changed the lede to reflect that. For the fifth point, the article specifically mentions Israel and the antisemitism. ✅ others.  ULPS ( talk •  contribs ) 16:28, 1 July 2024 (UTC)

Post-release issues

 * "The singer added that him and West never had any appearances in the new music nor best new songs, although he showed "Carnival" reached number one on the Apple Music songs chart" - Assumably this means the new music and best new songs sections on Apple Music? This could be more explicitly stated.
 * ✅  ULPS ( talk •  contribs ) 16:28, 1 July 2024 (UTC)

Listening events

 * This section does feel a bit too long to me. For example
 * "creating speculation amongst fans that they would take place there" - Not sure the fan speculation merits inclusion
 * "Some fans were disappointed as they likened the repeated delays and cancellations to Yandhi, slated for release in 2018 and then delayed a year, drastically overhauled under its release as Jesus Is King; West also delayed the release of Donda by a year to 2021." - Again, given the size of the section I am not sure fan reactions are warranted inclusion
 * "Simultaneously, Playboi Carti revealed that West had invited him to perform at the Vultures Rave." - Do we need to mention the invitation, when it is later mentioned that he made an appearance anyways?
 * "He had previously evoked Ku Klux Klan imagery for his single "Black Skinhead" in 2013" - could be nixed for shortening this section
 * The ticket prices are notable?
 * "the live stream was held through the streaming platform Veeps, which charged $19.99 per viewer, and apps such as Apple TV and Samsung TV Plus." and "The show started at around 10 p.m. CST, one hour later than scheduled due to what a venue doorperson dubbed a "production delay"
 * "Tickets were sold online for $225, although an attendee for NPR reported they were sold on site for $180." and "The show was supposed to start at 9 p.m., yet it began around two hours late."
 * Censori singing along is not particularly noteworthy

Cover art

 * The wikilink on Bianca Censori seems to constitute overlinking. Remove it and refer to her by just the last name
 * "which West confirmed he was acceptive of." - This could be removed since I am not sure it has great significance in understanding the cover art
 * ✅ --K. Peake 16:54, 1 July 2024 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * I am satisfied with how this section is organized; you could, however, choose to optionally paraphrase some more of the quotes.
 * ✅ --K. Peake 16:54, 1 July 2024 (UTC)

Commercial performance

 * "Vultures 1 stood as Ty Dolla Sign's first chart-topper" - I am not sure about "stood" so let's maybe go for "was" instead
 * "This stood as West's third album to spend two weeks at number one" - Same here. Maybe say "became"
 * "prevented from topping the chart by Noah Kahan's Stick Season (2022)" - This could be removed since I am not sure it is relevant who blocked it but this is optional.
 * "It stood as Ty Dolla Sign's first top-40 album" - Same comment as the first two
 * "In Ireland, the album reached the same position on the Irish Albums Chart" - I think that it's in Ireland is implied by the name of the chart, and I would make the same comment about the mention of Stick Season re. Ireland as I did about the UK.
 * "Vultures 1 topped the ARIA Albums chart, standing as West's fifth number-one album in Australia." - Another "standing"
 * ✅  ULPS ( talk •  contribs ) 16:44, 1 July 2024 (UTC)

Track listing
Good

Charts

 * Maybe mention in the Caption that this is the weekly chart performance since this will definitely make some year-end charts
 * ✅  ULPS ( talk •  contribs ) 16:44, 1 July 2024 (UTC)

Certifications
All good

Final comments and verdict
After having a really productive Monday morning, I have completed the full review. This will go on hold now! Best, NØ 12:43, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Me and have gone through everything now, regarding the last part about conform titles I think I have done this for the capitalization now – please tell me if you need further work here. --K. Peake 07:46, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
 * Thanks to both of you for your prompt work here! I worried I had nitpicked too much, so it is nice to see it has been handled well. I can now ✅ this.--NØ 08:40, 2 July 2024 (UTC)