Talk:War (Pop Smoke song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:35, 27 January 2021 (UTC)

Reasonable for me to take this on, as you have a lot of GANs pending currently! --K. Peake 08:35, 27 January 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Target Victor Victor to Victor Victor Worldwide per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * Introduce Lil Tjay as a fellow rapper
 * "of Andre Loblack." → "of Andre Loblack and solely handled production." since the following sentence is too short and can be merged like this
 * Target digital download to Music download
 * Target streaming to Streaming media
 * Wikilink bonus track
 * "Pop Smoke's second studio mixtape" → "Pop Smoke's second mixtape,"
 * Remove the exact release date because the release year is in brackets
 * "Pop Smoke and" → ""War" sees Pop Smoke and"

Background and composition

 * "alongside Lil Tjay who" → "alongside Lil Tjay, who"
 * Wikilink 808Melo
 * ❌ --K. Peake 05:59, 29 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target programming to Programming (music)
 * Target mastered to Mastering (audio)
 * "the song while Fabian Marasciullo mixed the song" → "the song, while Fabian Marasciullo handled mixing" with the target
 * "Thomas McLaren who was" → "Thomas McLaren, who was"
 * Probably either mention the release was in the United States like the source backs up or add numerous citations to source a various release
 * ❌ you have not mentioned nor does the source say what you are claiming --K. Peake 05:59, 29 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "bonus track on Pop Smoke's second studio" → "bonus track on Pop Smoke's second" with the wikilink per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * ""War" is a" → "Musically, "War" is a"
 * "Michael Saponara states that" → "Michael Saponara stated that"
 * Mention that Saponara stated the croaky rhymes are from Pop Smoke and the high-pitched croon is from Lil Tjay; ask if you are confused about how to word this
 * ""high-pitched croon."" → ""high-pitched croon"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * "He continues, saying" → "He continued, saying"
 * "them disposed of."" → "them disposed of"."
 * "comments that the song" → "commented that the song"
 * Target chorus to Refrain
 * "and assertive bars."" → "and assertive bars"."
 * "they come through."" → "they come through"."

Reception

 * Target music critics to Music journalism
 * ""stream-worthy single."" → ""stream-worthy single"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * "the song as "ominous."" → "the song as "ominous"."
 * "honeyed melodies," and" → "honeyed melodies", and"
 * "throughout the track."" → "throughout the track"."
 * "war-ready," while" → "war-ready", while"
 * "an explosive combination."" → "an explosive combination"."
 * The NME quote does not have a beginning for the speech marks
 * "a frenzied combination."" → "a frenzied combination"."

Music video

 * "in black and white and features" → "in black and white, with it featuring"
 * Mention the website Torsten Ingvaldsen is from
 * ""lightly edited," and commented that the visual's" → ""lightly edited", and commented that its" per MOS:QUOTE
 * change the visual's to its --K. Peake 05:59, 29 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "mark transitions throughout."" → "mark transitions throughout"."
 * "was "sweet and simple."" → "is "sweet and simple"."
 * change was to is --K. Peake 05:59, 29 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "to the masses."" → "to the masses"."

Credits and personnel

 * Change writer to songwriter
 * programming should be last under Andre Loblack's credits

Charts

 * Good

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed and remember what I told you after the last review! --K. Peake 09:49, 27 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Kyle Peake All the issues should be addressed. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 23:10, 28 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you for having a go, I have pointed out above where things remain unaddressed. --K. Peake 05:59, 29 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I can you have been active but not completed the fixes yet... please try to soon. --K. Peake 07:50, 29 January 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅ and I added the three remaining changes for you since they were only minor, but I advise you in the future to not ignore when reviewers mention you for only a few fixes because it is common practice to respond in scenarios like these where it's on your part to do so, especially when easy. --K. Peake 06:40, 30 January 2021 (UTC)