Talk:Warren Schrader/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 16:20, 13 July 2021 (UTC)

Hi, I'll take this one. Feel free to query any of my comments or correct me!

Prelim

 * No duplicated links
 * Images look good
 * References look good
 * Infobox cited where necessary

Lead

 * I doubt there's a particular link available for the Channel Front, but linking it partially to the English Channel might be helpful to some
 * You are right in that there isn't a link for the Channel Front but I feel using English Channel instead may be a bit obscure. Zawed (talk) 08:50, 15 July 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * Link Wellington - would also suggest linking draper and clerk
 * Done. Zawed (talk) 09:56, 14 July 2021 (UTC)

Second World War

 * Is his joining the RNZAF in the same month as his twentieth birthday coincidental or was this the first opportunity he would have had to join up?
 * In WWII, New Zealanders could join up at 18 but serve overseas they had to be 20. I don't have a source that explicitly states this as the motivation for Schrader though. Zawed (talk) 10:01, 14 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Can you expand on why training continued in Canada and perhaps what this specifically was?
 * It was under the Air Training Scheme, I have added a link. Zawed (talk) 10:01, 14 July 2021 (UTC)


 * What exactly does "flying cover for the amphibious attack" mean in this instance? It sounds to me like he just flew above the landings and watched, which I don't expect was the case!
 * Have revised this section to provide context. Zawed (talk) 10:24, 14 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Link Sicily
 * Done. Zawed (talk) 10:01, 14 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Again, could you expand on what he was actually doing to "provide cover for Operation Husky"?
 * I have rephrased. Zawed (talk) 09:36, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "the squadron had upgraded to Mk. IX Spitfires" - what does this mean for Schrader? Faster, more manoeuvrable, etc?
 * Yes, it was a newer version of the Spitfire. Zawed (talk) 09:33, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "conversion course on the Hawker Tempest" > "conversion course for the Hawker Tempest"
 * Done. Zawed (talk) 09:33, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "In March, and now a flight lieutenant" - is the date of promotion known? And for that matter what happened to flying officer?!
 * Unfortunately I don't have a date for the promotion (not even from the London Gazette surprisingly), which is why I had to phrase it this way. Zawed (talk) 09:24, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Link flight lieutenant
 * Linked. Zawed (talk) 10:43, 14 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "to join No. 486 (NZ) Squadron" - I assume he's flying Tempests here but that could be clarified
 * Clarified. Zawed (talk) 09:24, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "Schrader shot down a series of enemy aircraft " - is this series of victories the 190s on 10, 15, 16, and 21 April? If so the majority of this "quick succession" is described in a different paragraph, and when reading it the first time I assumed the actions in the second paragraph of Europe were a different series of events to the "quick succession" of the first paragraph.
 * I have rejigged this section. Zawed (talk) 10:43, 14 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Link Hopsten
 * Linked. Zawed (talk) 10:43, 14 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "He destroyed two more Fw 190s on 15 April, in one of the squadron's most successful engagements for several enemy aircraft were shot down that day during a single patrol." > "He destroyed two more Fw 190s on 15 April in one of the squadron's most successful engagements, with several enemy aircraft being shot down in a single patrol."
 * Rephrased as suggested. Zawed (talk) 09:24, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "His command of No. 486 Squadron was made permanent the same day." - is this when he is promoted to squadron leader?
 * It is not clear when exactly he was promoted; either when taking over command in an acting capacity, or when it was made permanent presumably. I have added mention of "Now a squadron leader". Zawed (talk) 09:47, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "Two more Bf 109s were destroyed on 29 April over the Lauenburg bridgehead with another damaged" - are these his victories or those of his squadron? Could be made clearer despite the following sentence
 * Clarified. Zawed (talk) 09:24, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Link sortie
 * Done. Zawed (talk) 09:24, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Link Luneberg
 * Done. Zawed (talk) 09:24, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "he destroyed three aircraft on the ground" - out of pure interest, did one of these count as the "first enemy aircraft destroyed by a British fighter-jet" or did that have to be airborne?
 * No, I have clarified that it would have to have been shot down. Zawed (talk) 09:24, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Number format; you have "11 enemy aircraft" but "two more destroyed", etc
 * Sorted. Zawed (talk) 09:47, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Might it be noted that he "flew only six operational flights in the jets", per the Otago Daily Times article?
 * Added. Zawed (talk) 09:47, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * Link undercarriage
 * Done.


 * "Promoted to wing commander, Schrader was given command" - could you provide a more specific date?
 * Unfortunately no. As per my previous comment, I have little info on when his promotions occurred. Zawed (talk) 09:24, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "given command of a wing" - you name his squadron commands so it would make sense if possible to name this wing too
 * I don't have the designation/name of the wing. Zawed (talk) 09:24, 15 July 2021 (UTC)

Later life

 * The Air New Zealand article states that the NAC-ANZ merger occurred in 1978, two years after Schrader's retirement, thus the merger information doesn't seem relevant to him
 * Delete that merger info. Zawed (talk) 09:53, 15 July 2021 (UTC)


 * "he retired from the NAC"
 * Done. Zawed (talk) 09:53, 15 July 2021 (UTC)

That's all I have for now, please ping me and comment as necessary. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 16:20, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
 * , thank you for the thorough review. I have made a number of edits here and responded above. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:53, 15 July 2021 (UTC)
 * Having made a few minor tweaks to links and sentencing that I hope you'll have no issue with, I am happy to pass this article. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 14:44, 15 July 2021 (UTC)