Talk:Werner Kaegi (composer)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Eisfbnore  talk 14:56, 7 July 2011 (UTC)

A short, but interesting article on a composer whose name I hadn't heard of before. A few comments:


 * Please state his date of birth in the lead inside brackets, immediatly after the bolded name
 * The lead is two short; please extend it to summarize the whole article
 * Year ranges require endashes. "(1963–1970)" not "(1963-1970)" for example
 * The line "Kaegi studied mathematical logic and music in Zürich, Heidelberg and Basel, and music composition in Zürich, Basel, Salzburg and Paris,[1] with teachers as diverse as composers Paul Hindemith, Arthur Honegger and Louis Aubert." is a bit heavy. Please break it up into two sentences
 * Johann Sebastian Bach not JS Bach
 * Please don't write prose with brackets
 * External links should not appear in the article's body
 * Avoid historical present ("Werner Kaegi will wholly embrace electronic music")
 * Regrettably I cannot understand the line "From 1963 to 1970, Kaegi worked at the Centre de Recherches Sonores in Geneva, the electroacoustic music studio of Radio Suisse Romande, the Swiss broadcast corporation." Are there words missing?
 * "In the second half of the 1960s" → "In the late 1960s"
 * The citations are looking quite messy right now; have you considered using citation templates
 * Have you considered uploading File:Werner Kaegi.jpg to the Commons?

Placing on hold. Eisfbnore talk 14:56, 7 July 2011 (UTC)


 * Looks good now. Passing. Nice to read about early electronic music. -- Eisfbnore talk 12:27, 8 July 2011 (UTC)