Talk:West Auckland, New Zealand

Move discussion in progress
There is a move discussion in progress on Talk:West Auckland which affects this page. Please participate on that page and not in this talk page section. Thank you. —RMCD bot 08:18, 4 October 2022 (UTC)

General points to consider
It’s a wonderfully thorough article and I’ve really enjoyed reading it and learning some new things. I would love to see this be a featured article at some stage so I just wanted to provide some feedback that I think would improve the article: While English is a de facto language in Aotearoa New Zealand, English Wikipedia requires English as the primary language (See WP:ENGLISHPLEASE) For this reason I suggest that before any Māori words are used a short explanation of te reo Māori and its role as official language should come before any Māori words are introduced. Then within the text use English words with Māori word in brackets immediately afterwards where appropriate or provide a text definition immediately after (rather than only link out to a definition). Keep the hyperlinks though because they provide elaboration; just make sure there is enough of an explanation that the reader understands how you are using the word in that sentence.

My main thoughts are that the style of this seems to me to be more comprehensive than a ‘good article’ and maybe you should be aiming for a Featured Article?

I noticed the talk page includes discussion re: “West Auckland is not a strictly defined area” It might be better to introduce the broad concept by saying what it is rather than what it isn’t.. eg. “West Auckland is an area framed by traditional Māori tribal areas (rohe) and encompasses (a shorter summary of townships without historical references)”. Apologies if I have misunderstood what was meant - you should write that however it’s most accurate. I’m just emphasising this idea of introducing specific concepts so that readers can understand why cultural significance is important and how that fits in with the place you’re talking about.

Please take this feedback as being enthusiastic and really just wanting this article to be its absolute best. It’s this depth of culture and history that make Wikipedia such an interesting place to spend time. EthicalAugur (talk) 18:21, 18 November 2022 (UTC)
 * How about this? I've moved the content around a bit at the start to focus on what is West Auckland. Is that a bit clearer? --Prosperosity (talk) 21:27, 4 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Yes it is. It’s a great article. Sorry I haven’t been back here for a while. EthicalAugur (talk) 21:51, 29 November 2023 (UTC)
 * Wonderful to hear, thanks! --Prosperosity (talk) 00:26, 30 November 2023 (UTC)

Early settlement section
The first paragraph under Early settlement as at today's date could possibly be placed under a different heading or sub-heading. The existing content seems mostly about oral history and/or origin stories for the people of the region, rather than settlement. I don't have access to the sources, so don't feel sufficiently confident to directly edit this myself. I think it would help the reader to provide a specific sub-heading that is a better fit for the content. Marshelec (talk) 07:29, 3 January 2023 (UTC)
 * How about this? I've split the first paragraph into one called "Origins", which I think works the best. --Prosperosity (talk) 21:36, 4 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Yes, that is a definite improvement, thanks. --Marshelec (talk) 23:31, 4 January 2023 (UTC)

Geography - bounded by water
Providing I have this correct, I recommend explaining in the Definition section, and probably also in the lead, that the area of West Auckland is bounded by the waters of the Waitematā and Manukau harbours, and by the Tasman sea. Perhaps this simple explanation could go before the more complex and rather densely-written details about the "definition". Some brief similar mention might also be useful under Geography.--Marshelec (talk) 23:31, 4 January 2023 (UTC)

Influence of Northwestern motorway on development
It seems likely that the construction of the Northwestern Motorway had a significant influence on the development of West Auckland. If sources beyond this one can be found, this would be worth some elaboration.--Marshelec (talk) 23:31, 4 January 2023 (UTC)