Talk:Western Australian Prison Officers' Union

Comments on article
left a message at the WikiProject Organized Labour talk page requesting comments after making an expansion of the article; many thanks for expanding the article, all work that contributes to de-stubbing is more than welcome! Just to be clear, I'm making comments on the state of the article from the point I began editing, rather than any specific contributions.

I'll divide my comments between those that are "technical" and those that are "editorial"/content-related.

In terms of technical things:
 * Infobox: as a rule of thumb, basic facts are necessary here, rather than detailed facts. So for example, a street address is not necessary for the location, a city location is enough (eg Perth) or a suburb and city (but not specific street addresses). In terms of the important people, in general not more than two people is necessary, usually within a union the two most important positions are the general secretary (the main full time officer of the union) and the president (the main elected lay member).  Depending on the country these titles differ: Australia, from memory, usually refers to State Secretary, National Secretary or Secretary rather than General Secretary as the main full-time official of the union.
 * Lead: the current lead is more or less the same information that is in the infobox. The lead should be a summary of the whole article, giving an overview.
 * Referencing: there's three bare URLs; all the references should be converted to include  templates.

In terms of content-related:
 * Executive and office members; given none of the persons mentioned are notable in and of themselves, this section is not necessary.
 * External links: this can be dropped. Website is already linked in the infobox and what is at the Facebook link is discussed already and in the references.
 * Member obligations: I'm not sure this section is necessary - the content here is useful if one was joining the union, but from the point of view of a reader of an encyclopaedia there is too much detail here. If it was to be kept I would suggest reducing to two or three sentences at most.
 * Historical timeline and development: this section should immediately follow the lead, it would be good if it could be expanded.
 * Campaigns: this is an important section and very significant in terms of encyclopaedic content.

Missing from content: It would be good to get some sense of the union's success (or lack of) in maintaining conditions between the private and public prisons. The tone of the article is NPOV, but the material used is overwhelmingly either the union's own reports or agrees with the position taken by the union. One area which is lacking is critical perspectives on the union and racism; the union has a rather ignoble history in opposing the Royal Commission into Aboriginal Deaths in Custody, among other things. See the following for discussion on these issues:

This might also be useful which mentions the union's opposition to policies of rehabilitation.

Hope this is helpful, regards --Goldsztajn (talk) 21:35, 5 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I agree with much of the above - the article does seem unnecessarily detailed in parts, and comes across as biased toward the union.
 * Regarding external links, I've removed Facebook, but I think the official website is OK. WP:ELOFFICIAL suggests that including in both infobox and EL section is OK - "Official websites may be included in some infoboxes, and ... in the External links section." Mitch Ames (talk) 02:24, 6 December 2020 (UTC)