Talk:When You're Lost in the Darkness/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: BuySomeApples (talk · contribs) 02:59, 9 August 2023 (UTC)

I am going to start reviewing the article and will try to write most of the suggestions as soon as possible. BuySomeApples (talk) 03:03, 9 August 2023 (UTC)

Lead
The caption of the image in the infobox could be more succinct.

“with praise for writing, direction,” - maybe “praise for its writing, direction” etc

Overall the lead is well written and summarizes the article well.

Plot
Nice job summarizing the plot, and keeping the length just right. Per MOS:TVPLOT, since the cast is discussed elsewhere, they shouldn’t be named in the “Plot” section. We can add their full name to “Casting and characters” though.

Conception and writing
“was set to direct several the first few episodes.” - Typo?

Which part of the sentence does Ref 12 support?

Ref 18, I can’t see where the interview confirms this but I might have missed it.
 * The relevant quote from Mazin: "I was directing that episode when [Joel and Ellie] come together for the first time". ☔

Other than this, I think the page is solid. Most of these issues are pretty small, technical changes so this should be ready to pass pretty soon.

Music
I’m not sure if the lyrics from “White Flag” need to be included, usually even articles about songs include only small snippets of lyrics.

Filming
Refs 55 and 56, the guild document confirms July 12 but the CBC says the (outdated) info about July 5, so it can be removed or placed at the end of the sentence.

In the second paragraph, three different sentences reference Ref 29. The first two can be removed, and the last one left in to support them all.

Reception
“GameSpot's Mark Delaney said Pascal made him cry twice and lauded his ability to portray different sides of Joel” - Can you change this line to describe more about what Delaney appreciated about the portrayal instead so it’s less about the reviewer?

Final comments
Honestly, the page is very solid and I'm mostly nitpicking here. It's fun to revisit this article and see how it's grown since it was at DYK. BuySomeApples (talk) 20:45, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review, ; I appreciate the nitpicking! I've gone through and addressed your concerns (and clarified one above). Please let me know if you have any other questions or concerns! – Rhain  ☔ (he/him) 23:14, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Nice work I've made one or two small tweaks but this is ready otherwise. BuySomeApples (talk) 02:48, 18 August 2023 (UTC)