Talk:Whitcomb L. Judson/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 18:03, 22 May 2020 (UTC)

Criteria
1. Prose

2. Verifiability {

3. Depth of Coverage

4. Neutral ✅

5. Stable ✅

6. Illustrations ✅

7. Miscellaneous

Comments
1.
 * I don't think the citation in the lead is necessary per WP:LEADCITE.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:12, 22 May 2020 (UTC)


 * "Inventor of Zipper" - I don't think zipper should be capitalized
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:24, 22 May 2020 (UTC)


 * "Union army" - Capitalize Army
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:24, 22 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Link 1860 census
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:24, 22 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Link Union Army
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:24, 22 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Check the source for "He enlisted in 1861 at Oneida, Illinois in the Forty-Second Illinois Cavalry" - I'm a bit of a Civil War buff, and all of the sources I've consulted indicate that the highest number Illinois cavalry regiment in that war was the 17th.
 * ✅ - 42nd Illinois Infantry Regiment --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:44, 23 May 2020 (UTC)


 * "In 1886 and 1887 the Minneapolis city directory identifies Judson as a "traveling agent" - I think identified would work better.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:29, 22 May 2020 (UTC)


 * " In 1889 Judson obtained six patents" - Comma after 1889.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:29, 22 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Link patents to the relevant article at the first mention
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:29, 22 May 2020 (UTC)


 * In the US, a company is a singular entity for legal and tax purposes, so a company is an "it" not a "they"
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:44, 23 May 2020 (UTC)


 * "Judson was an inventor who was awarded 30 patents over a sixteen-year career. He received fourteen patents on street railway ideas before his most noteworthy invention, a chain-lock fastener." - This duplicates some of the stuff in the railway section
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:52, 23 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Zipper is a duplink
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:29, 22 May 2020 (UTC)


 * "Judson was an inventor who was awarded 30 patents over a sixteen-year career. He received fourteen patents on street railway ideas before his most noteworthy invention, a chain-lock fastener." - Avoid contractions, except in direct quotes
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:52, 23 May 2020 (UTC)


 * "The patent examiner was starting to wonder if Judson wasn't on a fishing expedition to ascertain if his idea was actually novel" - Is this an idiom? If so, find a way to rephrase it.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:01, 23 May 2020 (UTC)


 * "In 1893 Judson exhibited his new invention" - Comma after 1893
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:42, 22 May 2020 (UTC)


 * "In 1913 the zipper was improved" - Comma after 1913
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:42, 22 May 2020 (UTC)


 * "In 1918 a textile company manufactured flying suits" - Comma after 1918
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:42, 22 May 2020 (UTC)

2.
 * Wife not cited anywhere
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:23, 23 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Number of children not cited anywhere
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:23, 23 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Move Leslie and Gale to a Further reading section, since they aren't used
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:23, 23 May 2020 (UTC)


 * About.com is not a reliable source
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:23, 23 May 2020 (UTC)


 * See External_links/Perennial_websites. Find A Grave is not a reliable source.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:23, 23 May 2020 (UTC)

3.
 * Lead is too short, for a GA, a three-sentence lead isn't quite enough.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:50, 23 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Where's the place of death?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:23, 23 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Coverage is not complete. This is a biography, so, if known, the information about his marriage, death, later life etc. should be included.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:23, 23 May 2020 (UTC)

4.

5.

6.

7.
 * Layout is very odd. It's all under the level 2 heading Early life.  I'd recommend making a level 2 heading for Career and then incorporating the stuff about his inventions in there.  When added, the later life stuff can have it's own level 2 heading.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:23, 23 May 2020 (UTC)
 * All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:50, 23 May 2020 (UTC)
 * - Is there a source you can use besides ancestry.com? Per WP:ANCESTRY.COM, it's not considered super reliable. Hog Farm (talk) 01:19, 24 May 2020 (UTC)
 * - replaced with Friedel, p. 4 = the Forty-second Illinois Cavalry 1/4 down page. Will that work?--Doug Coldwell (talk) 08:56, 24 May 2020 (UTC)
 * - it also says Judson had been just old enough to join the regiments in the Civil War which would make that 18. It so happens that Illinois Civil War Muster and Descriptive Rolls Illinois State Archives shows his age as 18 when he joined Aug 10, 1861. I've changed his birth to 1843 to match this up (1843+18=1861). --Doug Coldwell (talk) 09:19, 24 May 2020 (UTC)
 * - Given the ambiguity, I'd recommend inserting a note using the efn template to explain the difference. If the Illinois State Archives list him in the infantry, cite that in the text, and then state in the note that Friedel said the cavalry. Hog Farm (talk) 19:15, 24 May 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:04, 24 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Passing. Hog Farm (talk) 20:33, 24 May 2020 (UTC)