Talk:Why Don't You Love Me (Beyoncé song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Blackjacks101 (talk) 14:58, 18 December 2010 (UTC)

Lead


 * "Why Don't You Love Me" is a song by American R&B singer Beyoncé Knowles taken from her third studio album, I Am… Sasha Fierce (2008)-Remove 2008 ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 18:15, 18 December 2010 (UTC)
 * as bonus track on a digital EP titled I Am... Sasha Fierce - The Bonus Tracks. -“a” needs to go before bonus track
 * February, 2010,-Comma after February is not needed ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 18:15, 18 December 2010 (UTC)
 * It managed to peak at number one on the US Billboard Hot Dance Club Songschart for one week in February, 2010, more than one year after the album's original release and emerged as the nineteenth most played track in US dance clubs in 2010.-Run on sentence, break it up. End the sentence after “original release” and then start it of saying “It emerged as the nineteenth most played track in US dance clubs in 2010.” ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 18:15, 18 December 2010 (UTC)
 * The inspiration for writing the song came from the time The Bama Boyz spent in London at the end of Knowles' B'Day Tour.-This is confusing. Were they with her while they wrote it in London (if so London isn't close to end of her tour)? Or was Beyonce at the end of her world tour, while they wrote it in London? The song was written at the end of the tour but Beyonce did not know about it. The Bamaz Boys were with her when she waas touring.
 * The "50s-styled" music video for the song was directed by Melina Matsoukas as well as Knowles under the alias "Bee-Z" and it stars the latter as "B.B. Homemaker".-Commas before and after “Bee-Z” ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 18:15, 18 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Knowles paid homage to Bettie Page in the video just like she did in the music videos for "Telephone" and "Video Phone" where she collaborated with Lady Gaga.- Put a comma after “video” ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 18:15, 18 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Critics universally praised the video for its 50's style sets and costumes and the acting skills of Knowles as a hot, adorable, charming, and funny housewife who wanted to be loved.-Better if it stated “Critics universally praised the video for its 50’s style sets and costumes, and described the acting skills of Knowles as hot, adorable, charming and funny.” ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 18:15, 18 December 2010 (UTC)

Just some grammar issues for the lead. I recommended before I review the body of the article that you double check for silly mistakes =D.--Blackjacks101 (talk) 15:48, 18 December 2010 (UTC)

Background and release


 * Jonathan Wells said that they decided to try something different from what they usually do by mixing several genres.- add comma after “do” ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)
 * The Bama Boyz had recently produced "ChampagneChroniKnightCap" and "Valentine's Day" on Solange Knowles's second studio album, Sol-Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams (2008) when she asked them to put instrumentals together for her to write for her sister Beyoncé. – remove 2008 ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)
 * The Bama Boyz almost intentionally left the instrumental for "Why Don’t You Love Me" out since they thought that the song did not sound like the tracks Beyoncé was recording for her upcoming album, at that particular time. –comma after “out” ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)
 * However, Jesse Rankins explained that they put the instrumental for "Why Don't You Love Me" in the email because they knew that Solange likes weird records, however they made sure to send it last.- kind of repetitive by using however twice, and your seconds however needs a comma after ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Knowles invited The Bama Boyz into her session at the Houston's Music World Studios to listen to the early versions of I Am... Sasha Fierce at that particular time. – scrap the “at that particular time” ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)
 * According to "Anti-Music", the song was nearly discarded twice: the first time was when EMI Music prepared a demo of the song to send to other artists without the knowledge that Knowles had already recorded the song, and the second came during the track selection of I Am... Sasha Fierce's tracklisting, where executives felt that the song did not fit in with the other records.[1] –run on sentence, it can easily be split into three separate sentences ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)
 * In May 2010, the media reported that Knowles' decision to release one more video from her album I Am... Sasha Fierce just before Kelly Rowland released "Commander" was unfair on Rowland.[3][4] These claims would be denied by Rowland who said that despite the clip for "Why Don't You Love Me" airing several days before "Commander", the media was "making too much of a big deal of release schedules and trying to create a feud where it doesn't exist."[5] She also said that "we all came out at the same time and it really doesn't matter ... I think there's room for everybody ... There's B[eyoncé], there's Ciara putting something out and [Lady] GaGa putting something out, but, because we started out together, people are going to say things like that. But I really don't care, I love her 'til our dying days and that's all that counts."[3]- The background is already very long, this paragraph is basically useless because it’s not extremely important I fear it is important here, see the song Commander by Kelly Rowland. you will understand
 * Originally released as a pre-order bonus track on the deluxe edition of I Am... Sasha Fierce,[6] the song was later released as a new song on the platinum edition of the album[7] and finally as a bonus track along with "Poison" and a remixed version of "Video Phone" featuring pop singer Lady Gaga on a digital EP titled I Am... Sasha Fierce - The Bonus Tracks. – comma after “platinum edition of the album”  ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)

Composition


 * "Why Don't You Love Me" is different from Knowles' previous dance-pop songs, basically because it makes use of a retro style. – remove basically and comma before ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)

Critical Reception
 * Written by Beyoncé Knowles, her sister Solange Knowles, and her cousin Angie Beyince and produced as well as co-written by The Bama Boyz,[2] "Why Don't You Love Me" is a upbeat track that also derives from the genre ofR&B.[13] – remove “and” before “her cousin”, and add “a” before “upbeat" ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)
 * "All Noise, which normally reviews upcoming releases in the United Kingdom gave the song a positive review, complimenting the lyrics as well as the feminism of the song.[15] – remove “which normall reviews upcoming releases in the United Kindom”, because it was releas there and two it’s irrelevant ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)
 * It was also stated that the song is suitable for "keep[ing] the dance-floors interested" and that it is "inventive and brave" songs like "Why Don't You Love Me" which would keep Knowles at the top in the worls of pop music – “worls” should be “world” ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Another review from the website "Unreality Shout" praised the beats and funk influences displayed in "Why Don't You Love Me" and called it an interesting song because it attacks the concept of being ignored by a lover "from a different angle, rather than complain[g] miserably and sing[ing] along to a piano-lead ballad."[13] – comma after “why don’t you love me” ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)

Commercial performance
 * However, the next week, the song fell down to the position number ninety-one,[20] before dropping out of the chart the following week – remove the comma after “however” and add by before “the next week” ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)

Background and concept
 * However, she explained that the video is "an exaggerated, over-the-top version" of what she was doing right then, just living her life, being a woman at home, relaxing and trying to enjoy her life other than performing and music. – creating should be put before “music” ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)

Synopsis
 * The fantasy-laden imagery hardly ends there, though, as it is followed by shots of sequences of Beyoncé gardening, washing dishes, scrubbing floors, and baking cookies – remove the comma before “though” ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)
 * Rap-Up commented on what happens in the video saying that she is also reading during some scenes, in which she sings "Keep my head in them books, I'm sharp..." In the middle of the video, Knowles dusts off her mantlepiece, which is covered by her 16 Grammy awards showcasing her awards she earned when she was withDestiny's Child and after the debut of her solo career. – put comma after “happens in the video” and remove “showcasing her awards” ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)

Everything else looks good, good job!--Blackjacks101 (talk) 21:32, 18 December 2010 (UTC)

I really enjoyed working with you ✅ Jivesh boodhun (talk) 17:24, 19 December 2010 (UTC)