Talk:Wilhelm Victor Alfred Tepe/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 10:34, 24 May 2020 (UTC)

Opening statement
Hello, and come what may from this review, thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia. During the review, I may make copyedits, which I will limit to spelling correction and minor changes to punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. The Nominator(s) should understand that I am a grammar pedant, and I will nitpick in the interest of prose quality. For responding to my comments, please use ✅,, , ❌, , or , followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  10:34, 24 May 2020 (UTC)

Prose

 * Lead requires expansion.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 16:20, 24 May 2020 (UTC)


 * The broadness of the article leads something to be desired, but I understand as a content writer myself that sometimes we just don't have material to work with.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 16:20, 24 May 2020 (UTC)


 * The family had moved to Amsterdam from Germany prior to his birth. Redundant. Does the source say why they moved to Amsterdam?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 16:20, 24 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Issue still present. The sentence is redundant. You could replace "parents" in the first sentence with "immigrants" and only lose some article size. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  16:07, 25 May 2020 (UTC)
 * --Doug Coldwell (talk) 17:34, 25 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Tepe grew up and got his primary education [...] Replace "got" with "received".
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 16:20, 24 May 2020 (UTC)


 * After graduating from high school in 1858 [...] Wouldn't this be a gymnasium?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:35, 24 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Looking at the source, the gymnasium in question was the Sint-Willibrordus-gymnasium, in Katwijk. It's worth mentioning in the prose, I think.
 * ✅ - with the assistance of my Dutch wife from Groningen. I'm still having trouble with English.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 17:34, 25 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Additionally he also studied medieval architecture [...] So he was studying architecture in addition to architecture?
 * ✅ - from 1861 to 1864 he studied construction at the college of Bauakademie --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:46, 24 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Then from 1861 to 1864 he studied architecture at the college of Bauakademie in Berlin. Additionally he also studied medieval architecture, especially that of the French architect expert Eugène Viollet-le-Duc. He learned from Viollet-le-Duc the Gothic Revival architecture style, especially that pertaining to restorations of medieval buildings and churches. There is a lot of repeating of information here. Tepe studies architecture in addition to studying architecture and learns about and takes an interest in Eugène Viollet-le-Duc's work from reading Viollet-le-Duc's (literary) work.
 * ✅--Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:19, 25 May 2020 (UTC) - He learned from Viollet-le-Duc the Gothic Revival architecture style, especially that pertaining to restorations of medieval buildings and churches.


 * Tepe afterwards went to Münster in western Germany to complete his mathematical studies. There has been no prior mention of any mathematical studies.
 * ✅--Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:28, 25 May 2020 (UTC) Reworded sentence to ... for mathematical studies.


 * Tepe's first career job was when he joined German Gothic Revival architect Vincenz Statz in Cologne. Could you word this more clinically?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:40, 25 May 2020 (UTC) Reworded sentence to ...first serious work in his career...


 * This gave him on-the-job training for developing talents in church architecture. Redundant.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:45, 25 May 2020 (UTC)


 * While there he came across Gerard van Heukelum, [...] Replace "he came across" with "met".
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:50, 25 May 2020 (UTC)


 * [...] St. Catherine's Cathedral in Utrecht in the Netherlands. Delete "in the Netherlands", and link St Catherine's Cathedral, Utrecht.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:03, 25 May 2020 (UTC)


 * [...] Heukelum who became an architect and had founded [...] Who had become an architect. Delete the "had" before "founded".
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:03, 25 May 2020 (UTC)


 * He received some assignments on village schools and rectories. Heukelum or Tepe?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:03, 25 May 2020 (UTC) ...Tepe received from Heukelum some assignments...


 * In these churches very little natural stone was used and brick was the material he chose developing Dutch brick gothic architecture. Rewrite.
 * ✅ Rewrote to say,  Brick was the material he chose instead of natural stone...


 * "Nature of work" would be better named "Architectural style".
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:01, 25 May 2020 (UTC)


 * The first paragraph of "Nature of work" also needs a rewrite. [...] architectural-style [...] should not have a hyphen, the "phases" are overly wordy (Compare He varied his church designs between 1871 and 1876. His churches are rarely decorated in this time period of his first phase. to His church designs between 1871 and 1876 were rarely decorated.), and it is written in present-tense when it should be past-tense.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:14, 25 May 2020 (UTC)


 * His direction of the Dutch Gothic Revival architecture was eventually taken over by others, J.W. Boerbooms and Wolter te Riele were some. Also problematic. by others, J.W. Boerbooms and Wolter te Riele were some. is clunky, and "influence" or "leadership" may be a better word here than "direction".
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:35, 25 May 2020 (UTC)


 * There was no children from this marriage. Were no children.
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:35, 25 May 2020 (UTC)


 * Tepe moved to Germany in 1905 [...] With Mrs. Kracht?
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:35, 25 May 2020 (UTC)


 * There he designed and built a slightly different style, which regularly made use of stone. For example, the church he built in Bawinkel was largely of sandstone. Redundant and misplaced in "Later life and death".
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:35, 25 May 2020 (UTC)


 * "External links" is misnamed. It should be "See also", and moved to before "References".
 * ✅ --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:53, 24 May 2020 (UTC)

GA progress
Article passes CopyVio scanning. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  10:34, 24 May 2020 (UTC)

There are no disambiguation links present. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  10:34, 24 May 2020 (UTC)

Images are relevant to the article and free/tagged. &nadsh; ♠Vami _IV†♠  10:34, 24 May 2020 (UTC)

There are no issues with any of the external links present on the article. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  10:34, 24 May 2020 (UTC)

References are reliable. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  10:34, 24 May 2020 (UTC)


 * All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look at it. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 14:23, 25 May 2020 (UTC)