Talk:William B. Davis/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Figureskatingfan (talk · contribs) 21:27, 3 March 2012 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * See below for feedback re: prose. There are some issues with it that need to be addressed before passing to GA.
 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * Again, see below. I think the lead is a little short, and could use a few more sentences to make it more of a summary of the article.
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources:
 * I'm going to list sourcing issues below, too.
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
 * Generally, I think that this article could use more research. With all that's been written about The X Files, I'm not sure that this is as comprehensive as it could be.  Davis' autobiography, for example, which I'd bet is a treasure chest of information about his life, is only used twice.  I'd also bet that there are scores of more reliable sources than what's here, which seems to depend upon YouTube videos and other less reliable sources.  I think that if you follow my suggestions below, this article could be passed to GA, but without the additional research, it'd never get past FAC.
 * C. No original research:
 * I'm passing this criteria, although I'm on the edge. If the sources are tightened, it'd seem less like there's OR here than is currently the case.
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * It's broad enough for GA, as I state above, but could use some improvement.
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * There doesn't seem to be one regular editor, which concerns me a bit. Will the nominator work on improving this article as is needed?
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * I admit that I'm not an image expert, so I recommend getting someone more knowledgeable with images, but they seem to check out.
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall: More extensive comments below.
 * Pass or Fail:
 * I'll make more comments in the new couple of days, and if they're addressed, passing to GA should be no problem. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 01:30, 4 March 2012 (UTC)
 * 1) Overall: More extensive comments below.
 * Pass or Fail:
 * I'll make more comments in the new couple of days, and if they're addressed, passing to GA should be no problem. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 01:30, 4 March 2012 (UTC)

Comments


 * Ref 1: I see that the source is for Davis' parents' occupations, but it's very out-of-date. A picky note, I know, but it may be a good idea to get a different source for this information, if possible.
 * Sourced to autobiography now. GRAPPLE   X  00:14, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * "...rehearsed in the basement of Davis' house before going north for the summer." I know that this almost a direct quote from Davis, but it reads a little strangely.  I recommend rewording it to be more precise or eliminating the reference to going north.
 * Done. GRAPPLE   X  00:14, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * "...before his voice broke." I didn't notice a reference to Davis' voice breaking in either source, and ref 3 doesn't support any statements here.  Again, it's strange wording, and not very encyclopedic.


 * " In 1955 he enrolled in the University of Toronto studying philosophy but really pursuing his career as an actor along with other prospects like Donald Sutherland." More strange wording.  You mix tenses: "enrolled" and "pursuing". "...other prospects like DS": I don't know what that means.  Is that Canadian English?  If so, I'd still like you to explain; it's very unclear.
 * Fixed (changed the tenses to all past, clarified "prospect" as "future actor") GRAPPLE   X  00:14, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * Needs a source for earning his B.A.


 * "He worked in the U.K. for the next five years directing in rep theaters and acting schools." What's a rep theater?
 * Repertory theater, expanded and linked. GRAPPLE   X  00:14, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * Ref 6 says that Davis was a director, not an assistant director.


 * Ref 3 states that Davis worked with Finney and Smith, not with the others.


 * "During this period he was also active as a free lance director at major Canadian theatres. In 1971 he joined the newly formed Drama Department at Bishop's University in Lennoxvile, Quebec." Is "free lance" one word or two in Canadian English?  Be consistent with your use of "theatre", and make sure it's Canadian as well.  These two statements aren't supported by the sources.


 * " In demand as an acting teacher during this period he offered himself as an actor after being away from acting for nearly twenty years." More non-encyclopedic phrasing, especially "he offered himself as an actor".
 * Reworded. GRAPPLE   X  00:14, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * " He was landing a number of roles on stage and film before accepting the position of artistic director of the Vancouver Playhouse Acting School on the other side of the country." "He was landing" is also non-encyclopedic.  I like the quote that follows, but if you keep it, you don't need to mention that the school was on the other side of the country.  About the quote: Who are "we"?  He and his family?
 * Reworded, clarified the quote. GRAPPLE   X  00:14, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * "...a training ground for several future stars including Lucy Lawless, Xena: Warrior Princess." You should either omit Lawless' role (you don't mention any roles for the other actors mentioned in this article), which I recommend, or you should re-state: "Lawless, who later starred in "Xena Warrior Princess".
 * Removed. GRAPPLE   X  00:14, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * You say that his role as CSM is "iconic"; while I agree, it really should have a source. Avoid the weasel words, please.


 * "actual cigarettes": Technically, the herbal cigarettes are also "actual"; you mean "tobacco" cigarettes, right?
 * Fixed. GRAPPLE   X  00:14, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * "At first he chose the actual cigarettes, but switched to herbal shortly after for fear of becoming addicted again while playing the Cigarette Smoking Man." Awkward wording; how about something like "At first he chose to use tobacco cigarettes, but switched to herbal because he was afraid of becoming addicted to them again..."  Also, you link "Cigarette Smoking Man" here but not the first time you refer to the character above.  It's customary to link the first time you mention a term and not bother linking afterwards.


 * Ref 14: Not the most reliable source, but it does mention why Davis quit smoking. That's important enough to include in the article, I think.
 * I've changed some refs so I'm not sure if 14 was the Youtube video or not; but I replaced a video ref for Davis' switch to herbal cigarettes with an interview used to source the same information in The Smoking Man, also a GA. GRAPPLE   X  00:14, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * "Davis now divides his time between North America and France where he recently married Emmanuelle Herpin who lives and works in the south of France." Awkward wording; it sounds as if he got married in North America and France.  It also, along with the entire two-sentence paragraph, is not sourced.  How about: "Davis married French national Emanauelle Herpin in [when?], so he currently divides his time between North America and France".  It's unnecessary to state where she lives and works.


 * "While on The X-Files, Davis was constantly challenged[by whom?] about his non-belief in the paranormal and aliens." I'm afraid I agree with the template; it is weaselly.  You either need to state who challenged him, or use your source, which states that the show's fans challenged him.  How about: "While on The X-Files, fans of the show would often challenge him about...''.


 * CSICOP: Similar to what's said above; you need to write out the name of the organization the first time it's mentioned, with the abbreviation in parenthesis, then you can abbreviate it afterwards.
 * Fixed. GRAPPLE   X  00:14, 16 April 2012 (UTC)


 * CSICON: The link redirects to CSICOP, so it's unnecessary. I don't know what it is from just the acronym, so you need to tell me.  I assume it's a convention, right?
 * I think I've fixed this one, noting that it's Committee for Skeptical Inquiry's convention. Let me know if it's still unclear. GRAPPLE   X  00:14, 16 April 2012 (UTC)

Good start; I think that with some research this article could be expanded and made more comprehensive. With the above recommendations, I'll pass it to GA, but without the extra work, I think that's as far as it can go. Good luck, and thanks for the opportunity to learn more about this interesting actor. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 00:39, 5 March 2012 (UTC)
 * In the External links section, you list Davis' book, but there's no link other than the wiki-links. I'd bet there's a webpage promoting it, at least on Davis' homepage.  If not, you should remove it.  You should also include a line somewhere in the article about its publication, something like "In 2011, Davis published his autobiography..."  with perhaps some reaction to it.  I remember that one of the sources talks about why he chose the title and its connection with The X Files.
 * Comment A lot of things in the filmography need to be italicized as many are films or TV shows. Episodes should be quoted, not italicized. Cigarette Smoking Man should probably be only linked once there; not on every occurance. Ditto with The X-Files and anything else that may be linked again. Glimmer721  talk  00:48, 12 March 2012 (UTC)
 * Wow Great comments, very detailed. It might take me some time but I think I should be able to address most of this. Sgerbic (talk) 01:44, 1 April 2012 (UTC)
 * What's the status of this review? Been some time since the comments were made, the issues should be fixed by now. Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 13:53, 15 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Sorry got distracted with other things. Is there a way to save all these suggestions for repairing the page (maybe on the talk page of WBD?) I'm not as concerned with the page becoming a "good page" on WP as I am for just fixing things, but I don't have the time now.Sgerbic (talk) 20:41, 15 April 2012 (UTC)
 * This page isn't going anywhere, so any comments here will stick about indefinitely, if you want to be able to revisit them. I'll see if any are actionable quickly and strike them off if possible tonight. GRAPPLE   X  23:31, 15 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Have seen to some of these; have also cleaned up the refs a little bit. Where There's Smoke is partially available online through google books so I might be able to clean this up some more; I might also have some useful information amongst my X-Files sources. GRAPPLE   X  00:14, 16 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Don't have the time right now, but I'll go through the changes a bit more closely in the next few days and see about getting it passed to GA. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 06:08, 16 April 2012 (UTC)

Good job addressing feedback. One more picky thing: the Filmography table seems to have some formatting errors, after 2003. Fix that, and I'll pass it. I recommend expanding it if you want to take this article any further. WP:PR is a good place to get that kind of input. Assessing images is my weakness as a WP editor, but I'm a little worried about some of the images, especially the one of Davis as a boy. I suggest getting further input on them as well. At any rate, good job and I'll pass this article as soon as you clean up the table. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 16:52, 16 April 2012 (UTC)

Table's now fixed. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 15:28, 25 April 2012 (UTC)
 * Ok, looks good. Thanks Wiz, for finishing.  Took a while, eh? ;) Will go pass now. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 13:25, 27 April 2012 (UTC)