Talk:William E. Woods/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 13:19, 12 May 2022 (UTC) Nominator: Ezlev (talk · contribs) at 21:47, 7 May 2022 (UTC)

Prose
Nice article!
 * Remove these duplicate links:
 * same-sex couples
 * Hawaii Department of Health
 * marriage licenses
 * heterosexuality
 * Hawaii Department of Health
 * Honolulu
 * Hawaii state circuit court
 * pride parade
 * Democratic Party of Hawaii
 * Hawaii Department of Health (3rd)
 * Yikes! Removed. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * Beginning in 1972 and ending with his death in 2008, Woods advocated — Honestly, it can just be "He advocated"
 * Done. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * he secured a job with the Hawaii Department of Health — 'with' seems odd here. 'for'? 'in'?
 * Changed to 'in'. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * in his capacity as executive director; Woods critiqued — should be a comma in place of the semi colon, I think/
 * Yup, done ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * In the lead's last para, we jump from 1990 to 2003, then back to 1990.
 * Swapped sentences to resolve. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * Redlinks are important, but we have too many of them. Can we remove a few, especially from the lead?
 * Yes, definitely – will circle back to this one. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * Okay, I've removed several redlinks from the article body. The lede is tricky – the four redlinks there are all relevant, notable, and would be linked from the lede if they were existing articles. WP:REDLINK seems to suggest that they should be included. What do you think? ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:51, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * If all of them are important, fine. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 18:50, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * In the infobox, we have Honolulu, Hawai and University of Hawaii . Interchange them.
 * Done. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * in Arthur, Illinois before — missing MOS:GEOCOMMA
 * Comma added. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * After graduating from the University of Hawaiʻi in 1971 — Already mentionning in the immediately previous section.
 * Changed to just After graduating from UH. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * for four — "for the four"
 * Done. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * After the Supreme Court's decision in — Specify 'United States' Supreme Court
 * Done. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * had a circulation of 40,000 copies, 23,000 in Hawaii and 17,000 across the rest of the United States — exact or approximate?
 * The source doesn't say, so I'd rather not assume, though of course the odds would suggest it's approximate. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * If they were not successfully able to marry, — Rephrase (avoid starting a sentence with 'If', 'Had', etc.)
 * Swapped clauses: Woods planned to take them down the street to the headquarters of the ACLU of Hawaii if they were not successfully able to marry. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * but the media's attention — linking media appears to be WP:Overlinking
 * Unlinked ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * As of January 1992, Woods was executive director of the GLEAF. — Perhaps, "In Jan.."
 * Fair enough, done ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * (equivalent to $4,377 in 2021) — round off to 100s; same with other templates
 * ...I didn't even know that was possible. Done! ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * Woods acquired nomination papers to run for Governor of Hawaii as a — lowercase 'G' per MOS:JOBTITLE
 * Done, also tweaked wording. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks so much, ! I've made the changes you suggested. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)

Images

 * Looks good! Suggesting to add ALT text.
 * Alt text added. ezlev (user/tlk/ctrbs) 17:40, 12 May 2022 (UTC)