Talk:William Francis Clarke/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 09:50, 3 February 2020 (UTC)

Comments That's all I have for now, so it's on hold. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 11:57, 5 February 2020 (UTC)
 * "His term ended in 1861, he returned" reads like two fragments and would probably be better as "After his term..."
 * Fixed.  Ergo Sum  23:58, 6 February 2020 (UTC)
 * "March 19, 1816 in the" comma after 1816.
 * Fixed.  Ergo Sum  23:59, 6 February 2020 (UTC)
 * First para of Early life section seems unreferenced?
 * Whoops. Forgot to add a second citation after splitting up the section.  Ergo Sum  00:00, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * "operation of Gonzaga" perhaps "operation of the college" to avoid that Gozaga repeat?
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  00:00, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * "He then entered the" as a new para in a new section, the "then" jars a little bit.
 * Fixed.  Ergo Sum  00:02, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * "in White Marsh, Maryland and" comma after Maryland.
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  00:03, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * My ignorance, I don't know what "third" and "first grammar" means. Is there a suitable link or a footnote that could be applied?
 * I'm not 100% certain of it either. From what I've read, I've deduced that students would take a set of the same subjects every year, but with increasing levels of difficulty. So, e.g. first grammar would be more elementary than third grammar. I don't have a source, however, that really explains that.  Ergo Sum  00:04, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * And in any case, I think those two short sentences could be merged for flow improvement.
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  00:05, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * "That year, his health rapidly failed" again, new section, perhaps "His health rapidly failed during 1846..."?
 * Clarified.  Ergo Sum  00:08, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * "to Bohemia Manor, Maryland to recuperate." comma after Maryland.
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  00:08, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * "which was then uncommon" I think I get this but would it be clearer if it was "which was uncommon at that time"?
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  00:09, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * " his appointment President of Loyola College in Maryland" missing "as"?
 * Fixed.  Ergo Sum  00:10, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * "six months of his assuming office" quick repeat of "assume" here, perhaps this one could be "taking" instead?
 * A good change.  Ergo Sum  00:10, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * "That following year,...." not necessary when you have the full date of his return just after.
 * Removed.  Ergo Sum  00:11, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * In the suc box, where you have "Pastor of St. Joseph's Church" I would add ", Baltimore" to that because there are no doubt plenty of churches called "St. Joseph's" and since the church has no article, it's useful to disambiguate it.
 * Is this common? I've only ever seen where the bluelink itself is included in the succession box. My inclination would be that if a reader were unclear, they could click on the link or read above.  Ergo Sum  00:12, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Bernardin F. Wiget is not notable but Joseph O’Callaghan is notable? Any reason?
 * O'Callaghan was notable by virtue of being president of Loyola Maryland. I have not researched Wiget, but to my knowledge, he held no such notable position.  Ergo Sum  00:15, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your comments; a much better article as a result.  Ergo Sum  00:16, 7 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Cheers, thanks for making those changes, the outstanding "issues" aren't so much issues as things I thought we could discuss, and certainly don't stand in the way of promotion so I'll go ahead and do that. Nice work. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 11:44, 7 February 2020 (UTC)