Talk:William Hamlin/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 21:23, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments
 * "1772 – 1869)" unspaced.


 * "state of Rhode Island" link.


 * "He did a" yuck, made?"


 * "He is well known for portrait engravings" maybe "He also made a number of portrait engravings of...


 * "Hamlin was involved" also

introducing properly, and merge these sentences.
 * "He made sextants, quadrants, and refractor telescopes. He built the first " these aren't musical instruments, worth


 * "available to use by the public for astronomy" for astronomy? Well what else would it be used for?


 * "Capt" abbreviation? Is it even needed?


 * "Their other children (and Hamlin's siblings) " not sure the parenthetical clause is needed.


 * "b.1774)" etc, space after b.


 * "His father's occupation was as a pewterer" His father was a ...


 * "He was a person of scientific skills, even though he was self-taught on these technical abilities." opinion.


 * "goldsmith in Middletown, Connecticut.[8] His" overlinked.


 * "in 1791.[11] In 1793 " repetitive.


 * "and did mainly engraving of" -> "and mainly engraved...


 * " St. John's church" is it the formal name, i.e. Church?


 * " sold all kinds of" sold various.


 * "and sheet music with " comma after music.


 * "Hamlin 1826 telescope admission ticket purchased by those interested in using it." - remove from "purchased...


 * "become an engraver. His" link it first time.


 * "His first attempts at engraving were done on copper" "done on" is horrible. maybe "were with"


 * "and did this as an additional business" delete, and add "also" in the previous part of the sentence.


 * "The ticket is titled HAMLIN'S REFLECTING TELESCOPE..." none of this is needed, the image is there.


 * "Hamlin did a variety of engravings" avoid "did" again, maybe "made"?


 * "were done on order" which were ordered? Requested?  Bought?


 * "Portraits of George Washington are his most enduring legacy" according to whom?


 * "He did four ..." c'mon...


 * "death of George Washington" don't repeat his first name.


 * " his most famous work" says who?


 * "engraving he did is " last warning.


 * "that of the Experiment" italics for boat names.


 * Apply that to the gallery notes too.


 * "ticket for The Experiment" ditto.


 * "four of which" four of whom.


 * "29, 1852. [2]" no space before ref.


 * Ref 10 and 19 have spaced hyphen, should be en-dash.


 * ISBNs should be consistently formatted.


 * That's my lot. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 15:50, 4 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks for review. I'll get started on it, right after my nap = that's what old people do! --Doug Coldwell (talk) 16:15, 4 September 2021 (UTC)
 * All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:34, 4 September 2021 (UTC)