Talk:William J. Ennis/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Frzzl (talk · contribs) 10:23, 17 August 2023 (UTC)

Hello! I'm happy to review this article, pleased to be able to work with you. I should be able to send over some comments within the next two days. 10:23, 17 August 2023 (UTC)


 * @Ergo Sum Sorry it's taken me a while to get round to this review - only a few small points listed below. Thank you for your patience. 12:19, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your review, .  Ergo Sum  14:07, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Thank you for responding so quickly. Would you be willing for me to review another of your articles in the future? I understand if not, it did take me far too long to review this. 17:55, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I would be delighted if you reviewed any of 7 other GANs I have pending right now. You were a breeze to work with.  Ergo Sum  18:24, 21 August 2023 (UTC)

Review

 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * List of works appear fine - points on prose below
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism):
 * References are nicely formatted with sfns, spotchecks will be below. Earwig comes up with 10.7%, no plagiarism found.
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * Article seems well balanced, gives a decent, if not hugely long, overview of Ennis' life.
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * NPOV throughout
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * No edit wars found.
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * Only image used is in the public domain by age; could we add a caption to the infobox image just to note that it was an image taken in/around 1911, to provide a picture of his age at time of photographing?
 * Added caption.  Ergo Sum  13:58, 21 August 2023 (UTC)


 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

Lead
the link density here is too high
 * Unlink "vice principal" in the first paragraph, relink it in the second. Unlink "principal" in the second paragraph.
 * I've unlinked vice principal. I've kept principal in the second paragraph though because that's a term that has different meanings in different countries, so I think it is useful. Plus, the second paragraph has few links.  Ergo Sum  14:00, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Unlink "New York City", we have a link to it in the Early Life section
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  14:00, 21 August 2023 (UTC)

Early life
A bit of overlinking here
 * "Greenwich Village section" -> "Greenwich Village neighbourhood"?
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  14:00, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
 * -> "He then studied philosophy at Woodstock College in Maryland and taught at..."; I think if the second "then" is removed, the sentence flows better.
 * Replaced "then" with "afterwards" to keep the chronology.  Ergo Sum  14:01, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Unlink "Society of Jesus"
 * I've had this discussion on several other GANs and FACs. The consensus seems to be to link Society of Jesus because while "Jesuit" is a somewhat generally known term, Society of Jesus is less so.  Ergo Sum  14:02, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
 * I think doing "Frederick, Maryland" might be better just because there's a lot of wikilinking here. If we do this, remove the next link to Maryland
 * I've removed the link to Maryland but kept that to Frederick, Maryland because I don't think the state one is necessary with all the others.  Ergo Sum  14:02, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Remove links to Woodstock and Georgetown - you've already linked to them in the lead
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  14:06, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Unlink "Loyola College in Maryland" - it's been linked to in the lead, and the article's not long enough to warrant a relink for this section
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  14:06, 21 August 2023 (UTC)

Loyola School

 * make "scholastics" link to the "Scholastics" section of the Jesuit Formation article
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  14:03, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
 * redlink "James P. Fagan"
 * Fagan is not notable, so no article will be created about him.  Ergo Sum  14:04, 21 August 2023 (UTC)

Spotchecks

 * checked all the Fagan refs, seems fine there
 * Loyola school website is OK
 * Read through the Woodstock letters about Ennis, happy with that too

only qualm about the referencing is "studied at St. Francis Xavier College, later known as Xavier High School." - Woodstock doesn't explicitly mention this new name, so I think it would be better to pipelink "St. Francis Xavier College", rather than put in a new ref to cover the rename.
 * Done.  Ergo Sum  14:04, 21 August 2023 (UTC)