Talk:William L. Walsh/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Lemurbaby (talk) 03:42, 23 July 2011 (UTC)


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources:
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:

Comments
Thank you to the editor(s) for contributing this article to Wikipedia. It's good to see pieces on Canadian historic figures. There are several points to raise before this piece will meet GA standards.

1. Please do a thorough copy-edit for readability and grammar. The overuse of commas and other stylistic devices makes the article difficult to read and somewhat confusing in places.

2. Please ensure the citations are consistently formatted throughout. Typically in the notes section the format would be Lastname (year), p. XX. Also please move all cited book references into the reference section.

3. The initial part of the Political Career section is a bit underdeveloped. Please expand to create a full and detailed paragraph here.

4. Use n-dash throughout for date ranges. When writing dates anywhere except the end of a sentence, be sure to follow the year with a comma (i.e. "On July 22, 2004, the...")

Cmguy777's comments
The article overall looks good. In addition to the above comments I would suggest the following:

1. Keep the narration chronology from beginning to end. For example, his marriage and family could be a separate segment. Incorporate his personal life into the article rather then have a separate section title "Personal life". Have his WWI career as a separate segment. Cmguy777 (talk) 19:26, 31 July 2011 (UTC)


 * Clarification: His son was in WWI. This is confusing to the reader.  I thought William was in WWI.  I would limit information on his son, since this article is on William, the father. Cmguy777 (talk) 19:33, 31 July 2011 (UTC)

2. Maybe more could be on why he was considered a hanging judge. Why was he so in favor of capital punishment? What was his reputation as judge to fellow Canadians? Cmguy777 (talk) 19:26, 31 July 2011 (UTC)

3. The narration can flow better or just bring together various parts of his life. Cmguy777 (talk) 03:55, 1 August 2011 (UTC)

Improvements
Have any improvements been made to the article? Suggestions have been made. I believe that the appropriate main editors or editor to the William L. Walsharticle, if available, needs to make the needed improvements that have been suggested. Cmguy777 (talk) 18:29, 3 August 2011 (UTC)