Talk:William Trench, 5th Earl of Clancarty/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 18:37, 2 June 2022 (UTC)

Happy to review the article.

Initial comments
There are comments from the previous GA review that have not been addressed, and which can cause this nomination to be failed quickly. The comments are:


 * "nobleman from the Dutch nobility," nobleman from nobility? Repetitive.
 * Lead feels like it could be expanded to a couple more sentences.
 * "He was born..." normally biographies re-iterate the name of the subject in the opening sentence of the first para of the main body of the article.
 * Background seems to be in the wrong place for me.
 * "The story of the early relationship..." unref.

Please address these comments. Amitchell125 (talk) 09:58, 3 June 2022 (UTC)

Lead section/ infobox

 * This a relatively short article, and I’m not convinced it needs an infobox. Thoughts?
 * Link Irish peer (Peerage of Ireland); affidavit; adultery.
 * A photograph of William Frederick Le Poer Trench – is the caption actually needed?
 * The lead section needs to be expanded so as to make it a proper summary of the text in the article (mentioned in GA1).

1 Background

 * Link diplomat
 * a prominent member – ‘a member’? (see MOS:PUFFERY)

2 Early life

 * Link second lieutenant.

3 1889–1891 and the cause célèbre

 * Link burlesque; impresario.
 * , who strongly objected to the marriage, - consider using dashes instead of commas.

4 Later life

 * Link vault (Burial vault (tomb)).
 * Trench had also served – ‘Trench served’?
 * He went bankrupt in 1910, dying in 1929. These facts sound connected here, if they are not, they need to be in separate sentences.
 * The image of the cemetery adds nothing to the article imo, and also causes an issue with sandwiching. I would leave it out.

5 Family

 * Link music hall.

7 References

 * Link Charles Mosley (Charles Mosley (genealogist)); Sheffield Daily Telegraph (Sheffield Telegraph).
 * The Role of the peerage (Ref2) – is the quote needed?
 * Sheffield DT (Ref12) has no access date, and needs a subscription needed tag.
 * Cite the Wikisource (Ref4) correctly using the.

More to follow. Amitchell125 (talk) 10:58, 3 June 2022 (UTC)

Other comments
Additional sources to consider using:


 * Images: https://www.npg.org.uk/collections/search/person/mp104073/william-frederick-le-poer-trench-5th-earl-of-clancarty and https://www.npg.org.uk/collections/search/portrait-list.php?search=sp&sText=Belle+Bilton are available from the National Portrait Gallery, London; http://lafayette.org.uk/cla7047.html from the Lafayette archives
 * https://www.thepeerage.com/p5348.htm provides information about his family, including his mother
 * could be added
 * http://places.galwaylibrary.ie/history/chapter228.html provides details of his final illness.
 * This link had additional information to add about the earl's financial problems.

On hold
I'm putting the article on hold for a week until 11 June to allow time for the issues raised to be addressed. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 16:10, 3 June 2022 (UTC)

Fail
The article has had to be failed due to a lack of response by the nominator. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:54, 11 June 2022 (UTC)