Talk:Wilma Z. Davis

Comments on article at 03:25, 12 April 2018 (UTC) from Gryllida (talk)
Hi

0) Good formatting of the references and the article as a whole. Thank you.

1) First paragraph:
 * Wilma Zimmerman Davis (31 March 1912 – 10 December 2001) was an early American codebreaker ( add wikilink here ) during World War II. [2] She was a leading ( on what level - local, national, international ) cryptanalyst before and during World War II and the Vietnam War. She graduated with a degree in Mathematics from Bethany College and successfully complete ( completed ) navy correspondence course in cryptology. [3] She began ( when? ) her career as a leading cryptanalyst ( unclear, see remark earlier ) which spanned over 30 years in the United States Army Signal Intelligence Service (SIS), a predecessor of the National Security Agency (NSA) in the 1930s. [4] She was hired by William Friedman, who was a US cryptographer in the Army. ( citation needed. Also, when? ) He ( she? ) also led the research division of the Army’s Signal Intelligence in the 1930s ( citation needed ). Wilma Davis worked as a cryptanalyst on the Italian, Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, and Russian problems ( citation needed; when? ). She also worked on the VENONA project. ( citation needed; when? )

2) Headings should be in sentence case. For instance, "Early Life & Education" needs to be changed to "Early life and education". Please apply this point to any other headings which have the same problem.

3) Citations may be added in the middle of a sentence. They do not have to be at its end.

4) Some sentences are not attributed. For example "Essentially asking her to run the project without any regard for Leslie Rutledge who was the head. This made Wilma become conflicted as it went against her convictions." reads as original research. It needs to be attributed to maintain a neutral point of view and accuracy. Comment number three is also relevant here. Please apply this point to any other sentences which have the same problem.

5) It would be nice to have more thoughtful headings names. The 'Career' section is very long, and the 'Legacy and death' section is very short. This may be making the text confusing for the reader.

Thank you.

--Gryllida (talk) 03:25, 12 April 2018 (UTC)