Talk:Witch Fire/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 20:29, 4 December 2023 (UTC)

I've been eyeing this since the GA drive some months back. I've noticed the nominator's activity is sporadic. If I do not get comments within 7 days of finishing, I will likely close this nomination, but I believe someone should at least look at it.

The article could use fresh eyes and paring back of the excessive time and year references. It needs a holistic review to not read like a proseline while still being an account of the fire's progression. I struggle to understand how a couple of sources are used and would like clarification from the nominator. Will hold. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 06:30, 5 December 2023 (UTC)
 * , Hey, thanks for picking up this article. I should be able to work on this after today over the weekend. — The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 16:24, 8 December 2023 (UTC)
 * Made a bunch more changes to try and make it an easier read on the eyes. Also fixed some reference consistency issues. Sammi Brie  (she/her • t • c) 02:01, 10 December 2023 (UTC)
 * @The4lines is this ready or does it need additional changes? Sammi Brie  (she/her • t • c) 02:05, 10 December 2023 (UTC)
 * Sammi Brie, Unless you have any other concerns, I think it might be ready. — The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 02:18, 10 December 2023 (UTC)

Copy changes
General:
 * Consider looking at this with fresh eyes to determine if less verbose phrasing can be used.
 * Try and vary the beginnings of sentences to avoid WP:PROSELINE, which plagues parts of this article.

Lead

 * The small font in the infobox should be removed. This is part of the Manual of Style as MOS:SMALLFONT and is an accessibility concern. The containment item could be a footnote called by efn and a notelist further down. ✅ The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 04:17, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
 * Fanned by powerful Santa Ana winds, the Witch Creek Fire rapidly spread westward, and consumed large portions of San Diego County. The second comma is not needed as there is just one subject (Witch Creek Fire). See User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences (CinS). ✅ The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 16:03, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
 * During its duration, 80–100 feet-high flames were reported by fire officials This should be reworded to permit for a unit conversion. During its duration, flames 80 to 100 ft high... (The syntax to do this in convert is included in this sample) ✅ The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 16:03, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
 * The Witch Fire was a major contributor to the mass evacuations across much of Southern California at that time, which saw 1,000,000 residents evacuate, becoming the largest evacuation in California history. Consider rewording to be less verbose. ✅ The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 16:03, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
 * As of 2020 statistics may need to be updated. ✅ The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 16:03, 9 December 2023 (UTC)

Progression

 * 12:35 PM PDT try "p.m." and consider linking PDT on first use. ✅
 * the two fires combined into a single, massive wildfire, before dawn The second comma is not needed. ✅
 * The Witch Creek Fire had become a firestorm by this time, exhibiting extreme fire behavior and long-range spotting. This needs a citation. The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 03:15, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
 * By 9:30 P.M. PDT on October 22, a dispatch from the city of Del Mar's web site stated: "For your safety, we are strongly advising that all Del Mar residents evacuate." Consider rewording to be less verbose. This may not need to be quoted in full, and the time might not be necessary as just five minutes after the previous time. ✅ The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 03:15, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
 * Evacuations were also ordered for Scripps Ranch neighborhood, specifically "Everything south of Scripps Poway Parkway, north of MCAS Miramar, east of Interstate 15, and west of Highway 67". Likely not needing to be quoted; this would be unavoidable phrasing. Miramar and Highway 67 have not been mentioned yet and should be wikilinked and MCAS expanded. (There is a use of Marine Corps Air Station Miramar later on that should have the opposite done to it.) ✅ The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 03:15, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
 * By the end of October 22, the Witch Creek Fire had exploded to an enormous 145,000 acres (587 km2), and the fire was still rapidly expanding. Consider the less verbose By the end of October 22, the Witch Creek Fire had exploded to an enormous 145,000 acres (587 km2) and was still rapidly expanding. ✅ The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 03:15, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
 * At 9:50 P.M. PDT on October 23, 2007, the town of Julian, California was ordered to evacuate. missing MOS:GEOCOMMA ✅ The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 03:15, 9 December 2023 (UTC)

Impacts

 * PM10 particles are small enough to enter deep into the lungs, and possibly the bloodstream. Remove comma ✅ The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 03:37, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
 * The National Guard called more than 2,400 troops, with 17,000 available if needed; of which 100 California National Guard medical personnel provided medical assistance. This is not an appropriate use of a semicolon because "Of which 100..." is not a standalone sentence. Consider reordering, too. The California National Guard called more than 2,400 troops, of which 100 provided medical assistance, with 17,000 soldiers available if needed. ✅ The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 03:37, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
 * sent through a private contract from its home in Port Alberni, British Columbia on another GEOCOMMA missing ✅ The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 03:37, 9 December 2023 (UTC)

Aftermath

 * didn't should be "did not" ✅ The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 16:18, 9 December 2023 (UTC)

Sourcing and spot checks
A note for future reviewers because I suspect this may go to GA2 on inactivity. If you use Headbomb's source color-coding script, you will notice several Union-Tribune sources that are flagged red since they are on a Blogspot blog. It appears this was an official wildfire live blog run by the newspaper back when its online presence was known as Sign On San Diego. These are reliable sources.


 * 3: Archived CalFire incident report for the Poomacha Fire. I am unable to figure out from the way it's cited what belongs to what. I am concerned the two fire summaries (2 and 3) do not justify the claim the largest complex fire of 2007. ✅ I reworded the intro to try to make it more clear. I've also removed the offending statement. The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 17:22, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
 * 18: This is used with 7 (As dawn broke, authorities ordered evacuations from Del Dios highway south to state Route 56 and from I-15 west to Interstate 5.) The after action report attributes this to 0600 (The Sheriff’s Department issues a mandatory evacuation order for Del Dios and the unincorporated area of Escondido in response to the Witch Creek Fire.). This discrepancy needs resolving. ✅ The4lines &#124;&#124;&#124;&#124; (Talk) (Contributions) 17:23, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
 * 20: Liveblog evacuation item. ✅
 * 24: Trying to figure out what this is used for. Most of the material seems to be in [23] but checks out there. ✅
 * 33: Liveblog item on moving of aircraft. ✅

I note that The Witch and Guejito Fires combined to burn 197,000 acres, killed two people, injured 40 firefighters, and destroyed 1,141 homes and 239 vehicles. (article) and The Witch and Guejito fires in October 2007 combined to burn 197,000 acres. They killed two people, injured 40 firefighters and destroyed 1,141 homes and 239 vehicles. (Mercury News, 2017) are rather similar, but there are only so many ways to recite these facts.

Images
The images primarily consist of CC-BY and public domain images, most from Flickr, as well as a map from the state with an appropriate license tag indicating it is PD. Encouragement (not necessary for promotion): Add alt text. This may be quite difficult for the fire map!