Talk:Wolfgang Clement/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: LM150 (talk · contribs) 23:42, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

Comments to come shortly! Thanks, LM150 23:42, 13 March 2021 (UTC)

An interesting read overall! Here are my comments and feedback:


 * Are citations necessary in the lede section? The lede should summarise the article anyway, so they're usually not needed. No pressure to change this.


 * "Clement subsequently worked as an.." - 'subsequently' is not needed
 * Partly done. I was trying to tie this to the previous paragraph to show continuity. Changed it to "later". But, if I need to make any other change, please feel free to let me know. Thanks.


 * "Post the state elections.." - perhaps "After the state elections" sounds better and clearer (I recommend changing it everywhere it is used)


 * "There were questions if this decision was compatible.." - perhaps "There were doubts if this was compatible" sounds better


 * "10 March 1999 to 22 March 1999" - no need to repeat month and year: "between 10 and 22 March 1999"


 * "engine of structural change" - avoid using idioms
 * Partly done. Moved this text into double quotes to indicate that this was the phrase that was directly used. However, if you think I should change, please let me know. Thanks.


 * "became the symbol receiving 50 million Euros" - what does it mean by symbol? And you should probably use the Euro currency symbol.
 * ✅ edited / clarified. Added the Euro currency symbol


 * "came up with the Agenda 2010 series of reforms where the economy was given more freedom, and labor market reforms starting with the Hartz I through IV reforms were introduced" - I suggest rewording this as you have used "reforms" three times in this sentence


 * "He subsequently went on to support" - no need for "subsequently"


 * Spelling - are you happy with the article using American English? eg. Labor, canceled, favor. (I was leaning towards British English but no pressure to change this)
 * I ended up using American English, since that came naturally to me. Given that there is no specific guidance for German articles, we can let this be. But, please let me know if you think otherwise. Thanks.


 * Two external links are not working. Are these needed?
 * ✅ Removed one and replaced one from Internet Archive. Can drop the one from Internet archive as well, if needed


 * I noticed in the German article for Clement, there are some details about his business interests after politics. Is it worth including some more info here?
 * I had summarized this and the positions had been listed as bullets, which seems alright, but, please feel free to let me know if you'd want any other text brought in. Cheers.

Thanks, LM150 14:18, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Greetings . Many thanks for this review, and the very thoughtful comments. I have take a pass at addressing most of them, and my edits are included inline above. Passing the baton back to you for any additional changes that you'd want incorporated. Thanks again. Have a wonderful week ahead. Ktin (talk) 01:31, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Great, I just did a quick source check and made some minor copyedits. Passing now! LM150 19:53, 15 March 2021 (UTC)