Talk:Women in Law & Development in Africa

Untitled
In your article “WiLDAF” I appreciate that you chose to create a new Wikipedia page, it seems like an ambitious topic and something that is important to discuss. The lead section of your article is very in-depth but I would recommend skimming the content down. Pick important aspects about WiLDAF to discuss and keep it simpler. For instance, I think the sentence, “Even though WiLDAF functions as a multi-regional/transnational organization, it pays close attention to the economical, social and historical differences between states and countries,” (CrescentEvi) is crucial to understanding how the organization operates. I also think it’s important to know that it grew out of the “women’s rights as human rights” movement and mentioning this in the lead section is effective but keeping it brief is important and you can go into more detail later on in the article. Think about how you can shorten your lead section so that it is straightforward and gives the reader a precise understanding of WiLDAF. You’ve effectively given all the subjects within your topic equal weight, keeping the article balanced. Questions that I had when I started reading the article were answered by the time I finished. It might be productive to find more sources to give a few more perspectives on the information presented. Sections like “Media Campaigns”, “News”, and “Ghana” could be expanded upon. Perhaps find an example of a media campaign that the organization headed to give the reader a better understanding of the messages they are presenting. You are able to present the information in a neutral way which is very important and effective, but as with any draft, I think it would be beneficial for you to go back in and proofread the article. There are several run-on sentences and points where you list facts. For example; “upheld to protect women's safety and health, notably around issues with violence against women, sexual harassment, property rights, marriage, separation and divorce, inheritance,” (CrescentEvi). Paraphrasing these lists in a different way could strengthen the article and have a greater impact on the reader.

Mrusak (talk) 19:14, 5 April 2018 (UTC)