Talk:Women in cooperatives

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Ppanyam. Peer reviewers: Kuyachris.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 04:59, 18 January 2022 (UTC)

Review
Hey, I will be reviewing your article. Are there any areas that you would like me to focus on? Jumpinjad (talk) 21:07, 18 April 2013 (UTC)

Revisions
Firstly, I would put more background in the lead section about what cooperatives are. This could include specific examples. The length of the lead paragraph is good but it seems to delve into the topic quickly and not give a broad overview in a couple of sentences. This would be good for the reader with no background in the subject matter. Next, I like the separation of areas of types of cooperatives and their benefits; however, sections about location would be nice. For instance, if cooperatives play major role in the economy/society in El Salvador, include a section explicit to the country. This way the results and information from the cooperatives there can be explained and it would give more thorough information of the topic. Next, on this topic specifically a section of “See Also” at the bottom would be good because it could link to other similar topics. Since the topic is not specific to a country or group of women, having these links would help. Next, there are a few recent sources for your article, but many of them are from 2000-2002. If there are any other sources (there may not be) that are more current and give specific examples, this could help make the page more current. I really like your page and think the separate headings/titles are well-organized. As for editing, it was very good. I made some minor edits where needed. Many of the sentences are very long because they include multiple sources/examples and I tried to shorten some of them. Jumpinjad (talk) 22:10, 19 April 2013 (UTC)


 * Thank you for bringing my attention back to the introduction, I definitely need to add some more background on cooperatives. The reason this got skipped over originally was that I was planning on simply adding a section on women in cooperatives to the existing "Cooperative" Wikipedia page, making the background info unnecessary. I will re-work the introduction to give a better overview of the topic.  I also agree with your idea to emphasize location-- this was actually in my original plan but just got lost when I got to actually writing the article.  The worry I have about doing this is that the list will never be exhausted....there are hundreds of countries in the world, and I'm sure cooperatives play a significant role in many of them!  Therefore, I think I might choose to highlight super successful cooperatives (such as Shri Mahila Griha Udyog Lijjat Papad in India) and fully explain them and their benefits to society, particularly women. It may also be easier to emphasize cooperatives by region instead of country.  As for your comment on adding a "See Also" section, I, once again, totally agree! Thanks for your review, it definitely got me thinking and gave me some constructive feedback!  Emmyloumanwill (talk) 02:33, 23 April 2013 (UTC)

Wiki8
I agree that you need to add more background information. Given that this is a encyclopedia article, technically, you need to introduce cooperatives or link it to the cooperatives page so there is a better understanding about what it entails. I think that your sections are separated well, but there needs to be country sections. You discuss the Nepalese and I think that if you incorporate those Latin American countries, you could be more specific and in depth knowledge. I was hoping for more from the "results" section. What steps is the ICA or the international community currently making? Is there legislation that is supporting them? Are there currently any projects? Erinbb1 (talk) 05:45, 20 April 2013 (UTC)


 * I will address the lack of background information, thanks for highlighting that again! I also like your idea to link it back to the main page with a re-direct and will review how to do that. As for your comments about including specific countries, I have looked into that but honestly got bogged down in the immensity of countries and cooperatives within them. I can potentially look at highlighting a few regions or specific successful cooperatives within countries though.  I think you are right about the results section as well, I got so bogged down in the build up to it that I forgot to emphasize the importance of cooperatives for women. I think I will take out some of my introduction and use it as a way to extend the results section, since it was one of the best sources I found on the matter. Thanks for your feedback Erin, it was really helpful! Emmyloumanwill (talk) 02:38, 23 April 2013 (UTC)

Feedback
I too agree on the lead section needing revision. :) Summarize the main issues concerning women in cooperatives in the lead paragraph. In general, paraphrase as much as possible, rather than using quotations. I also wonder about the order of Benefits vs Obstacles sections. Should Benefits go first? This Nippiert reference does not have a publication year! (When you say "An ILO study.." it would be good to say "A 200x study.."). Always make the time period clear (as opposed to saying "in the last 20 years"). I think there is room for more course integration:  Cooperatives as an alternative (or complement) to microcredit could address the shortcomings of microcredit as a universal poverty reduction strategy or even to CCTS. You could provide brief discussion of and citations to Chant, Karim, Jahiruddin, for example. Marketing as a group as opposed to individually and saturating the market is arguably much better. There is also more room for elaboration/examples, as others have pointed out. The piece is still a bit on the short side. :) BerikG (talk) 05:10, 24 April 2013 (UTC)

Wikipedia Ambassador Program course assignment
This article was the subject of an educational assignment at University of Utah supported by the Wikipedia Ambassador Program&#32;during the 2013 Spring term. Further details are available on the course page.

The above message was substituted from by PrimeBOT (talk) on 17:18, 2 January 2023 (UTC)