Talk:Wu Zuguang/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Johanna (talk · contribs) 15:59, 3 April 2016 (UTC)

Will review soon as well. Johanna (talk to me!) 15:59, 3 April 2016 (UTC)


 * Comments
 * It appears that you have cleared up the parallel issues in this article.
 * Yes, thanks for your suggestions on the Xin Fengxia review.


 * Saying that someone achieved a "legendary reputation" is non-neutral
 * That's according to an academic source (Ying 2010). I've put it in quotes to make clear it's the author's opinion.


 * "which is considered his masterpiece" By whom? If you don't specify, it sounds like a fact.
 * The source (Ying 2010, citation in article body) says it's generally considered his masterpiece, so it's a widely held view. I've added the word "generally" to make it clear.


 * I would replace "even better known as" with "also known as"
 * Again, that's what the source says (Jones 2011), but your suggestion is reasonable and I made the change.


 * Replace "hard labour" with "penal labour"
 * Done.


 * "Despite these ordeals..." Parallelism: should be "called"
 * Added "to" instead: "continued to criticize" ... "and to call for" ...


 * Any information on his mother?
 * Most sources focus on his father's side, which was very prominent. I've now added some info about his mother.


 * I think you can shorten the note about Sino-French University, as I don't think that all that information is relevant.
 * Removed. I'll start an article on the university when I have time.


 * I think you can remove the phrase "China's then capital", but if you want to include something like that, just say "then-capital"
 * Removed.


 * "When the Japanese invaded China" I suggest "At the outset of the Second Sino-Japanese War, Wu wrote the patriotic war play "City of Phoenix (凤凰城)"
 * Changed.


 * Replace "a famous name" with "well-known" for encyclopedic tone
 * Done.


 * Same comment about the phrase "is considered his masterpiece."
 * Add "generally" as above.


 * "which caused the ire of" Rather awkward wording: say "which infuriated"
 * Done.


 * "After the Mao's Communists" In addition to the typo inclusion of "the", I would just say "after the Communist Party of China"
 * Done.


 * Instead of just captioning "family portrait", be more specific. For example, you could expand it to say "Wu (center), his wife Xin Fengxia, and his three children).
 * Done.


 * "His "crime" was to criticize" Although I agree that what he did was no crime, you should remove the quotation marks to be more formal. However, I would also recommend a phrasing change: "He was convicted for criticizing"
 * Removed the quotation marks. I doubt there was any formal trial and conviction, an accusation was enough to bring someone down at the time.


 * Refs appear to look good and are working well.
 * Thanks.

Here are my comments for the second article! I think it's really great that you're taking the time to expand the articles on these people, whose experiences were (and are) all too common. I will definitely be able to pass once you copyedit the article. Johanna (talk to me!) 00:23, 24 April 2016 (UTC)


 * Thanks for another thoughtful review! I've implemented most of your recommended changes and explained the rest. Please let me know if you have more concerns. Regards, -Zanhe (talk) 18:44, 24 April 2016 (UTC)
 * Wonderful work! I can Pass now. Johanna (talk to me!) 18:31, 25 April 2016 (UTC)