Talk:XO (song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Prism (talk · contribs) 16:53, 26 June 2014 (UTC)

Lead section
 * Prose
 * "XO" is a song recorded by American singer Beyoncé for her fifth studio album, Beyoncé (2013). (remove recorded and substitute for with from)
 * "Ryan Tedder co-wrote and co-produced "XO" with Terius "The-Dream" Nash and Beyoncé with additional production handled by Chauncey "Hit-Boy" Hollis and HazeBanga Music" → "Ryan Tedder co-wrote and co-produced "XO" with Terius "The-Dream" Nash and Beyoncé, with additional production handled by Chauncey "Hit-Boy" Hollis and HazeBanga Music."
 * "The usage of an audio sample from Space Shuttle Challenger disaster included at the beginning of the song" (remove included)
 * "and was directed" (was is redundant)
 * "Upon its release" (this is already written in the critical reception part of the lead, and it isn't essential to the sentence)
 * "and praised its happy atmosphere" → ", praising its happy atmosphere"
 * "the latter artist" (remove artist)

Production and release
 * WP:OVERCITE on the first paragraph (of FN1). Just keep it at the end of the paragraph.
 * "whilst" → "while"
 * "In October 2013" → "The next month, (...)"
 * "the album" → "Beyoncé"
 * Repetitive wording: "reported", "reported", "reportedly" (perhaps announced...)
 * "contemporary hit radio" → "mainstream stations" (repetition)
 * "very explicit and risqué" (some readers may not even know what risqué means, and if it is explicit it's assumed that it's risqué, particularly for CHR. remove and risqué.)
 * Place FN10 on the end of the paragraph. Readers can wait for the ref.
 * With regards to the lead: There are only references for the US and Italy, so why worldwide in the lead?

Composition
 * Does the first sentence need six references? This seriously needs trimming...
 * "The song also musically" (remove musically, how could it lyrically contain riffs?)
 * Remove "rest of the"
 * "compared [...] with" → "compared [...] to"
 * 808 & Heartbreaks is actually in singular form... if this is an error from the source, add [sic] to Heartbreaks.
 * "It has been described as a universal love song which talks about love" You don't say!
 * "demands from the listener" (awkward)
 * Could you blockquote The 405's quote? It's really hard to read this paragraph.
 * I understand why the Sampling controversy part is included here, but you should have this in its own section. The Composition section is big enough.

Critical reception
 * Is DJ Booth reliable? (I actually don't know)
 * "Philip Sherburne of Spin found "zero-G bounce... which, purely in terms of sonics, makes the most compelling argument for space tourism I have yet to come across".[43]z" → remove the z at the end

Chart performance
 * "It spent additional weeks on the Billboard Hot 100 being placed at number 83 in its last week" (add a comma before being)
 * "set a peak at number 12" → "peaked/reached/..." How it is right now is a bit awkward.
 * What position did "XO" reach the week after the performance? Add it to the section.

Music video
 * I don't like the usage of tabloids here. Isn't The Daily Telegraph source enough to say that Beyoncé was filming a video in Coney Island? I don't think mentioning her clothing is necessary...
 * "spotted" repeats in the Telegraph sentence

Live performances
 * "as a whole" is unnecessary

Charts / Certifications
 * Merge those sections

References
 * Sometimes they're a bit inconsistent... Only websites should have publishers, while publications' owners are optional. However, if you're going to include them, do that for all printed works.


 * Everything ✅. DJ Booth is a reliable source, listed by Metacritic for album reviews. Also I did not merge the charts and certifications section as they should be separated. My love is love (talk) 17:40, 26 June 2014 (UTC)