Talk:Yellow bumblebee

=Review and Edits=

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Orchidabar. Peer reviewers: Mkfreiler, PhonoxClassic, Chtsai016.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 05:16, 18 January 2022 (UTC)

Untitled
This article was well referenced and had interesting ecological information, however, I made a number of changes to improve the logic and flow. First, I added a couple of sentences to the overview that summarize the behavioral and ecological sections in the article. I also added order information to the taxonomy section, which was missing. In order to make the flow of the article more logical, I moved breeding and lifespan right after colony cycle and then placed the diet section after that. It made more sense to have sections pertaining to identification and physiology grouped together. The “Conservation Status” section was added under “Ecology,” because it was rather isolated as a main heading at the end and fit well under ecological information. Similarly, I moved “Competition” to fit under the “Behavior” section. I deleted the phrase “gives them an evolutionary advantage over honeybees,” because bumblebees are not currently competing with honeybees evolutionarily, so they cannot really have an advantage. They diverged a long time ago and it is unfair to compare their adaptations. Lastly, I improved word choice in a few sections, added hyperlinks for ‘Bombus pensylvanicus’ and ‘tergites’ and reformatted a few references to fit the proper way of citing scientific journals. My remaining suggestions are to add more to the worker-queen conflict section or re-name it, because it hardly touches on a conflict between workers and queens. The competition section was a little confusing to me as well, so I think you should mention exactly how a long tongue prevents competition. The morphological section could also probably be combined with “Description and Identification”, since they cover the same type of information.

Mkfreiler (talk) 22:54, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Peer Review
In the first few sentences of the article, you switched between B. fervidus as a singular subject to a plural subect (it to they). I changed it so that it is a singular subject all the way though the section.

Under Taxonomy and Phylogeny, I changed this sentence: Danish zoologist Johan Christian Fabricius first identified Bombus fervidus in 1798, also known as the yellow bumblebee or golden northern bumblebee.

to

Danish zoologist Johan Christian Fabricius first identified Bombus fervidus in 1798, also known as the yellow bumblebee or golden northern bumblebee.

to make it grammatically correct.

Under description and identification, you refer to "the average B fervidus bee."

The average B. fervidus bee is 13-16 mm long.

which I changed to

B. fervidus is 13-16 mm long.

Even though you describe the average bee, which is singular, you switch to plural pronouns in the following sentences, using "they" and 'their'. I fixed this. I also added a link to "pleurae:, though it would be best if you added another citation explaining what it is in relation to your species.

I changed the wording under Distribution and Habitat to be less repetitive and easier to understand.

I deleted the Morphology section, as much of it was repetitive. I moved the non-repetitive information to Description and Identification, then made several changes to sentence structure to correct for grammar, as well as keep the flow of logic.

Under both 'Distribution and Habitat' and 'Colony Cycle', I would suggest getting rid of the nest subheadings and weaving the information either into the block of text, or elsewhere in the page.

Overall, I found the article to be repetitive. The same information could be found under multiple sections, which should be addressed. — Preceding unsigned comment added by PhonoxClassic (talk • contribs) 01:01, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Peer Review
Hello, I’m an undergrad at Washington University and am editing this for a class assignment. The Taxonomy and Phylogeny section is well written – I liked that you had some history about the first discovery or identification of the bee. In terms of the description and identification – are there differences between male and female bees?

The morphology section could be merged with the description and identification section – I see that you are able to address what males look like here in the morphology section and their differences from females. In this section, I had some minor rephrasing to better the flow, and changed the units of wingspan for males and females to be the same units. In the distribution and habitat section, you could repeat the locations the bee is found in that you mentioned in the introduction of the article and cite that source (I believe it is source 3). For Colony Cycle, is there any data on how much the generations of B. fervidus increases in size? How are the numbers of the nest population determined – for example, why is the typical nest have 42 pupae?

In Breeding and Lifespan, I rephrased some minor words for better flow. What is the wax honey pot that they deposit honey into? Is this already pre-existing? You also mention that breeding occurs in the summer, but earlier you mention that the males and queens mate in the fall – do they mate in both seasons?

Under the Behavior section, could you please clarify what you mean under the Worker-Queen Conflict section when you say “If the colony grows too big, then new queens are killed before it is time for them to mate.”? Do you mean the youngest queens are killed before they can mate? I also don’t know if you still want to say that males have a purely reproductive purpose – this was already mentioned in the Breeding and Lifespan section. I liked how you incorporated a lot of different aspects on the behavior of the bee.

I also corrected some minor grammar points in the Predation section. Overall I think you did a great job of consolidating more information about this bee onto the Wikipedia page. I also made sure that our course banner is properly displayed. Great job! (talk) 23:27, 21 October 2015 (CST)

Peer Review
If possible, I think that the sections Competition and Conservation Status should have more information added to it as there are only a few sentences there currently. I saw that there is only one citation under the Diet section, so maybe try to add more references there as well. I think that the Parasites section should be its own section, not a subheading of Predators. Breeding and Lifespan section should be separated and Lifespan should be placed under Colony Cycle and Breeding should be placed under Behavior. I think that the overall article could be improved with more information, otherwise good work! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Rasikareddy1019 (talk • contribs) 05:12, 18 November 2015 (UTC)

Peer Review
While this covers a wide range of topics on the yellow bumblebee, many of these subsections need elaboration. For conservation status, an addition could be made to the box on the right side if all that is available is the status. If you want to include a conservation status section, what is causing the bee to require protection should be added. I also reworked some of the sections near the end of the article. Parasites were a subsection under the predators section but they belong in a different category, so I put both under an "Interaction With Other Species" section. Kjkozak (talk) 19:44, 4 December 2015 (UTC)

Helpful Edits and Suggestions
This article was very easy to read and well organized. Concerning changes, I added a hyperlink to “pollinator” in the introductory paragraph since this is the first time the term is introduced. I also added a link to “cocoons”, since this is also not common terminology; while the hyperlink goes to a Wikipedia page titled “Pupa”, a “Cocoon” section is provided, which I think is helpful for readers to have knowledge of. I also added a hyperlink to “hibernation” under the section on “Breeding and Lifespan.” I also made “Diet” a subsection under the “Foraging” since the information provided in “Diet” describes the bee’s behavior. Further, I changed “The long tongues of B. fervidus” to “Their long tongues” since “B. fervidus” is included often in many sentences. To improve the article, I would recommend removing the repetitive use of “B. fervidus” since the entire page is describing this bee; use of “B. fervidus” can be better dispersed throughout the article. Further, it would be helpful to find more pictures that illustrate nesting and its interactions with other species; even if more pictures of this bee aren’t available, including pictures of its parasites and predators, such as Bombus bohemicus, would positively supplement the text. Overall, great job so far! Cmbakwe (talk) 02:20, 6 December 2015 (UTC)