Talk:Yi and iMi/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 11:21, 8 May 2020 (UTC)

Coming soon, may not necessarily be today though, depending on what I've got on. --Kyle Peake (talk) 11:21, 8 May 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Remove additional producers per Template:Infobox song
 * Sure the audio sample couldn't be included in the Comp section instead of the img, since it not only belongs there more than here but is more notable?
 * "band Bon Iver. They are the first two tracks on the band's fourth studio album I, I (2019). "Yi" is a 31-second phone recording that serves as an intro to "iMi". → "band Bon Iver from their fourth studio album, I, I (2019). The songs are the first two tracks on the album, with the former being a 31-second phone recording that serves as an intro to the latter."
 * ""Yi" features additional production by Trevor Hagen and "iMi" features additional production by Andrew Sarlo" → ""Yi" and "iMi" feature additional production by Trevor Hagen and Andrew Sarlo, respectively" to avoid repetitive wording
 * "The songs are built off" → ""Yi" and "iMi" are built off"
 * "over a radio being switched" → "over a radio that is switched"
 * "with Vernon singing on the themes" → "with him singing about the themes"
 * "Recording began in" → "The recording began in" to not use the same word twice in a row as a sentence starter
 * No mention of recording date for the other song?
 * "CJ Camerieri and Wheezy, amongst others" → "CJ Camerieri, and Wheezy, among others"

Background and recording

 * Image needs alt text
 * "until 2019 at the" → "until 2019, at the" on the img
 * "over it, resembling" → "over it at the time, resembling"
 * "their upcoming album, which would become" → "their then-upcoming album, which later became"
 * "his vocals for "iMi" in" → "his vocals for the track in"
 * Either replace "he" with "the former" or "the latter", depending on which was there first.
 * Target synthesizers to Synthesizer
 * "where Wheezy offered to" → "and he offered to"
 * "Wheezy didn't know of Vernon or Bon Iver prior to the collaboration" → "Prior to the collaboration, Wheezy did not know of Vernon or Bon Iver"
 * "to Wisconsin to work on" → "to Wisconsin for working on"
 * "fan of the band" → "fan of Bon Iver"
 * "while at the" → "while he was at the"
 * "praising the chopping" → "praising his chopping" to avoid overusing "the"
 * "Cook then pressured" → "The former then pressured" so you don't start two consecutive sentences with his name

Composition and lyrics
"come from a snippet" → "came from a snippet"
 * Image needs alt text, if you do keep it
 * "into "iMi" and stated" → "into "iMi", and stated"
 * "The songs' busyness" → "Kornhaber elaborated, saying that the songs' busyness"
 * "Will Hermes for Rolling Stone stating" → "Will Hermes, for Rolling Stone, stating"
 * "into a fantastic whole."" → "into a fantastic whole"."
 * Add ref 3 at the end of the second para's opening sentence
 * Pitchfork should be italicised
 * "the ordinary and everyday."" → "the ordinary and everyday"."
 * "Zack Ruskin, writing for Variety, described Vernon's lyrics" → "Zack Ruskin of Variety viewed Vernon's lyrics"
 * "sing across different frequencies" → "sing across different frequencies within the songs"

Release and promotion
"I, I and revealed" → "I, I, and revealed"
 * "track list that included" → "track list that included both" to specific that they are separate tracks
 * "On August 8, 2019 without" → "On August 8, 2019, without"
 * "released digitally (one each hour). "Yi" was" → "released digitally. The releases were hourly, while "Yi" was"
 * "kicked off their" → "started their"
 * "On October 1, 2019, Bon Iver" → "On October 1 of that year, Bon Iver"
 * "of "iMi" and the songs" → "of "iMi", and the songs"

Commercial performance

 * "Despite not being released as a single," are you sure this is needed, since non-singles regularly chart nowadays?
 * "On the US Hot Rock Songs chart published by Billboard" → "On the US Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart"
 * "highest-peaking track from the album I, I behind" → "highest-peaking track from I, I, behind"
 * "and "Faith" and the" → "and "Faith", and the"
 * ""iMi" peaked higher than" → "However, "iMi" peaked higher than"
 * Don't think the other tracks' chart positions are notable
 * "In New Zealand, the song failed to enter the NZ Top 40 Songs chart published by Recorded Music NZ, but peaked" → "In New Zealand, the song peaked" since the latter chart makes it clear that the song didn't chart on the former

Credits and personnel

 * Any specific order for "iMi" credits here?

Charts

 * Change "iMi" to being in bold instead of a sub-section here

Final comments and verdict
since these changes should be able to be fixed with ease. --Kyle Peake (talk) 09:25, 10 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Fixed everything except references, will fix that soon. Nice4What (talk · contribs) – (Thanks ♥ ) 17:59, 10 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Green check.svg All references done. Could you inform me about the archiving tool? I have always done it manually. Nice4What (talk · contribs) – (Thanks ♥ ) 18:56, 10 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Looks a lot better, but to use the archiving tool you click on view history and then fix dead links. Also, could you add some brief info about the comp for the text of the sample, then this will be passed? --Kyle Peake (talk) 10:41, 11 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Done. Nice4What (talk · contribs) – (Thanks ♥ ) 17:06, 11 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Looks much better, ✅! --Kyle Peake (talk) 07:28, 12 May 2020 (UTC)