Talk:Yoon Ahn

= Review =

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 7 September 2020 and 14 December 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Crohbar.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 05:19, 18 January 2022 (UTC)

Untitled
You have a lot of excellent content here! I'd like you to move forward and recommend:


 * 1) Shelve collaborations and honors for now. (You can place them on another user-page/sandbox.)
 * 2) Unless you have a lot of material, backed by reputable sources, on her personal life, shelve that too and include simple info in an Infobox person template.
 * 3) Create proper citations.
 * 4) Edit what remains for concision, as there is some redundancy.

That is, I'd like you to develop this into a Minimum viable product ASAP. -Reagle (talk) 14:50, 21 October 2020 (UTC)

= Article Review =

Hi Crohbar! I went through the article and fixed some minor grammatical stuff, but overall you have a great article. I've never heard of this designer and you have some interesting information about her. After reading through the perfect article, here are my thoughts:

I think you nailed the neutrality of the article. Nothing sounds too promotional or one-sided to me. I also think it was an appropriate length, and contained engaging language. I think I got the essence of who Yoon Ahn is without any pictures, so you shouldn't need to worry too much about finding media.

I would consider finding some more reliable sources to avoid Wikipedians seeing this as a promotional article. It seems like many of your sources come directly from Ahn's collaborators. I saw some non-promotional sources like Vogue, but I'm not sure what type of source Wikipedians would categorize Vogue or Complex to be.

Another thing to consider is the structure of your article. You include a lot of info, I just think the structure of where you include your info could use a little revising. Her biography and her background kind of intertwine some of the same parts of her life, which then get referenced later in the AMBUSH and DIOR section. Maybe relabeling those sections in the beginning, or making her "background" everything that happened before she started her fashion career. Or, maybe have it all be one section called "career" and do subheadings for the chronological order of when things happened in her life. All the information was clear for me to understand, but it's just a matter of flip-flopping stuff around so the timeline appears in my head.

You're doing a great job though. Very interesting topic! - TM21NU (talk) 02:38, 9 November 2020 (UTC)

Hi Crohbar, I agree a lot with what TM21NU already said, the article has a lot of great information and you did a good job presenting it in a concise manner. I too agree that the article was very neutral, I understand you've been having issues finding applicable sources but solely based on the content alone it comes across as neutral and informative rather than promotional.

I also agree with TM21NU that the actual structure of the article could use some work. A specific instance would be that the first sentence of the second paragraph in the "biography" section is virtually the same as the first sentence in the AMBUSH section. More broadly, it would help if there were more paragraph breaks throughout the article but especially the AMBUSH section, it has a lot of dense information (which is good, I think) but it can be tough to read without having those breaks in text.

Overall great job, I really enjoyed learning about her! Mambonumber7 (talk) 14:26, 10 November 2020 (UTC)