Talk:Young Americans (song)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 20:51, 11 January 2023 (UTC)

Like you suggested, I will wipe out another one of these GANs! --K. Peake 20:51, 11 January 2023 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Philadelphia soul should be capitalised in the infobox
 * done


 * Shouldn't the release part be moved to the sentence after comp in the first para but the mention of the ninth album kept here?
 * Do song and album articles have different layouts they're supposed to follow? I think that might be what's going on here (did the same thing for "Ashes"). I think I've been following the album style (like it's laid out here) for all of these. I changed it. – zmbro (talk) (cont) 22:29, 12 January 2023 (UTC)


 * Move the comp and lyrics sentence to being the one after the contributions sentence
 * "It was recorded in" → "It was mostly recorded in" because some recording was done in November
 * "and made its live debut on" → "and was debuted on"
 * "It featured contributions from" → "The song featured contributions from"
 * above four done


 * I would recommend starting the second para with a mention of the reception the song received
 * That's one thing we seem to disagree heavily on. I'm just trying to keep it chronological with the article itself. – zmbro (talk) (cont) 22:29, 12 January 2023 (UTC)


 * The second highest part is not mentioned in the body, only that it was his second track to reach the top 40
 * adjusted body to clarify this – zmbro (talk) (cont) 22:29, 12 January 2023 (UTC)


 * "retiring it following the" → "before retiring it after the"
 * done

Music and lyrics

 * First para looks good!
 * Wikilink song structure
 * "a breakdown, and two" → "a breakdown and two"
 * "together through the use of" → "together through the usage of" to be less repetitive
 * above three done


 * Would [The song] be more appropriate on the quote box?
 * yep, done


 * "sense of possibility."" → "sense of possibility"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * done


 * President should be capitalised and mention the years he was in that position from
 * Is that really necessary for this article though? And saying 1974 immediately before saying he resigned three days prior seems like overkill/superfluous" – zmbro (talk) (cont) 22:29, 12 January 2023 (UTC)


 * Pipe civil rights to Civil and political rights
 * Is the full-stop needed after the brackets close since a question mark is used there anyway?
 * "with former Beatle" → "with former band member"
 * above three done

Recording

 * Img looks good!
 * First para looks good!
 * "eagerly added by Bowie" I'm not sure if this is grammatically correct, coming after the "built them" part
 * how about "were constructed by Vandross with help from Clark, and eagerly added by Bowie"?? – zmbro (talk) (cont) 22:29, 12 January 2023 (UTC)


 * "In September 2009, take three," → "In September 2009, take three of the song,"
 * done

Release and promotion

 * Pipe the Soul Tour to Diamond Dogs Tour on the img text
 * done


 * "and was a regular" → "and the song was a regular"
 * I think it's already made clear we're talking about the song – zmbro (talk) (cont) 22:29, 12 January 2023 (UTC)


 * "now the upcoming album's" → "the then-upcoming album's"
 * "was Bowie's cover of" → "was Bowie's 1974 cover of"
 * good needed clarification


 * Pipe "Knock on Wood" to Knock on Wood (David Bowie song) per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * above three done


 * "was a breakthrough in America," → "was a breakthrough in the United States," also, mention it was his second highest charting single directly
 * yep got it

Critical reception

 * "received positive reviews from" → "was met with positive reviews from"
 * done


 * Either mention the review was from a writer or the staff of Cash Box
 * like Billboard, Cash Box never made it easy to identify reviewers – zmbro (talk) (cont) 22:29, 12 January 2023 (UTC)


 * "so much graffiti."" → "so much graffiti"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * "named it one of" → "named the song one of"
 * "and American soul."" → "and American soul"."
 * Wikilink NME
 * "the seventh best single of the year." → "the seventh best single of 1975."
 * "by some of the lyrics," → "by certain lyrics,"
 * "to Bowie's wife Angie." → "to David's wife Angie Bowie." per MOS:SAMESURNAME
 * above seven done

Legacy

 * Wikilink live album
 * done


 * Second para looks good!

Retrospective appraisal

 * Quote box looks good!
 * "to soul music, and his" → "to soul music and his"
 * done


 * "later commented that "a white" → "later commented, "A white"
 * done, removed the later


 * Why is later used for two sentences in a row?
 * see above


 * (update link) should not be in prose; remove it and make an update if you need to
 * now that's extra embarrassing. Made the adjustment


 * Remove (no order) since The Telegraph comes before any ordered rankings
 * "The former argued it" → "The former argued the song"
 * "on its list of the 1001 greatest songs to download right now!" → "on its list "The 1001 greatest songs to download right now!""
 * above three done


 * Where is the number 481 ranking sourced?
 * for some reason RS doesn't have the 2010 list online so it was really the 486 that wasn't sourced. I don't have the energy to search an hour for it so we'll just remove it (it moving up 200 places is also way more noteworthy if you ask me). – zmbro (talk) (cont) 22:29, 12 January 2023 (UTC)

Covers and appearances in media

 * Pipe end credits to Closing credits
 * In the last sentence, [11] should be solely invoked at the end
 * both done

Personnel

 * Good

Charts

 * Why is IFOP included here?
 * removed

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed! --K. Peake 10:17, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
 * Should be good to go on this one unless there's any other outstanding things. Thanks for reviewing. – zmbro (talk) (cont) 22:29, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, no issues were left apart from the regular part of promo, though I copyedited that and a few other mistakes! --K. Peake 07:52, 13 January 2023 (UTC)