Talk:Zarina Diyas/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 15:04, 19 April 2021 (UTC)

I will be reviewing this. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 15:04, 19 April 2021 (UTC)

Lead

 * Spell out WTA and ITF on 1st mention, then put abbreviations in parentheses after them.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 11:14, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”This helped her enter tournaments on the WTA Tour more consistently, however, at some points she later returned to tournaments on the ITF Circuit when her ranking dropped” – run-on sentence, how about “This helped her enter tournaments on the WTA Tour more consistently, though she still plays tournaments on the ITF Circuit when her ranking is lower.”
 * Agree. Done. JamesAndersoon (talk)
 * ”albeit but” – only need one or the other.
 * Done. JamesAndersoon (talk) 11:20, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * No comma needed after citizenship in the last paragraph, since the last clause isn’t independent.
 * Done. JamesAndersoon (talk) 11:20, 22 April 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * Mention in the 1st sentence that Almaty is in Kazakhstan, then take out “Despite being born in Kazakhstan” at the beginning of the third sentence.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 11:22, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * On the last sentence, could you specify when she started studying psychology and which university it was she attended?
 * Unfortunately, no. I only found at one reference published in July 2015 that she planned to start studies in January 2016. JamesAndersoon (talk) 11:57, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * That's okay; can't include what we don't know. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 16:45, 23 April 2021 (UTC)

Junior career

 * Spell out ITF on 1st mention, then put the abbreviation in parentheses
 * Done. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:00, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Link doubles on first mention
 * Done. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:02, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need Lykina’s first name on second mention (unless there’s another Lykina)
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:03, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Link singles on first mention
 * Done. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:03, 22 April 2021 (UTC)

2007–09: First steps

 * Link wildcard on first mention
 * Done. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:05, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Take out comma after Open—not needed since not another independent clause.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:06, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Last 2 sentences of 1st paragraph start with “In” – maybe change the start of one of them for variety.
 * I kept first sentence, but changed the second as "She then made her main-draw debut at the $25K event in Astana where she also won her first title.". JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:14, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Remove comma after Kvitova
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:16, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”was also important” – I don’t think you need “also” here.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:16, 22 April 2021 (UTC)

2010: First top 10 win, top 200

 * ” she left her own mark” – “she left a mark” – more concise
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:20, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” in the first round, and then achieved” – run-on sentence. How about “in the first round.  Then, she achieved”
 * Agree! Much better. Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:20, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”she lost easily” – “she lost by a wide margin” – way you have it now, might be misread to imply she was trying to lose.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:20, 22 April 2021 (UTC)

2011–12: Modest results, fall in rankings, shoulder surgery

 * ”Her most significant result” – second use of result in close span, maybe change to “finish”
 * Changed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:24, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”reached the semifinals” – “advanced to the semifinals” – for variety later on, when you use reach again in the sentence.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:24, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” Guangzhou Open, but lost” – “Guangzhou Open; but she lost” – Needs verb change to be correct grammatically; semicolon needed to show that this is place between independent clauses.
 * Understand. Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:27, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”dropping outside” – “dropping her outside”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:27, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Link set on 1st mention
 * Done. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:27, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Last 3 sentences of section start with “She”; change 2nd one for variety?
 * Corrections: JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:50, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ★The following year in May, she made her return ... ◆ instead of ◆ She made her return on the ITF Tour ...
 * ★A month later, she won her third ITF ... ◆ instead of ◆ In June 2012, she won her third ITF ...
 * ★In the first round, she defeated the world No. 40 and top seed Peng Shuai in straight sets. ◆ instead of ◆ She drew top seed Peng Shuai and defeated the world No. 40 in straight sets.
 * ★Then, in the following round, she made a lopsided win over ... ◆ instead of ◆ She followed this up with a lopsided win over ...

2013: Back in the top 200

 * ”winning over” – just used word win, so how about “prevailing over”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:53, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”mostly making” – “mostly achieving”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:53, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * No comma needed after “title of the year”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:53, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Also, no comma needed after “in Taipei”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 12:53, 22 April 2021 (UTC)

2014: Breakthrough and top 50

 * Change it so that two sentences in a row don’t start “She then”
 * Corrections: JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:02, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ★First she played at the $25K event in Hong Kong, reaching the final ... ◆ instead of ◆ She made her season debut at the $25K event in Hong Kong, reaching the final ...
 * ★Then, she entered Australian Open qualifying, registering a close ... instead of ... She then entered Australian Open qualifying, refistering a close ...
 * ★In order to get to the main-draw she defeated Andreea Mitu, followed with win over Canadian Stéphanie Dubois. ... instead of ... She then came from a set down to defeat Andreea Mitu to get to the final stage of qualification, where she beat Canadian Stéphanie Dubois.
 * ”proceded to beat” – “beat” by itself will do the job.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:10, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Take out “however” in third sentence of third paragraph—while commas are correctly placed, there are so many that it gets a little difficult to follow. Removing the word will help.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:10, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”before having to retire” – was she injured during the round? If not, phrase in a way that makes clearer she lost the round.
 * She retired during the second set, so I modified the sentence. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:10, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ★She followed it up by dispatching Ajla Tomljanović before having to retire in her quarterfinal match against Christina McHale during the second set. - bold part is added
 * No comma needed after French Open
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:20, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need commas to set off Vera Zvonavera
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:20, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” She then made another second round” – mention earlier in the sentence that this was the Cincinnati Open
 * Correction: JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:20, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ★Then, at the Cincinnati Open, she was advanced to the another second round, losing there to Lucie Šafářová. instead of She then made another second round, losing there to Lucie Šafářova at the Cincinnati Open.
 * ”There she” – comma after “There”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:20, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” into the top 50, finishing” – “into the top 50. She finished” – Need to do it this way to get the right subject.  The sets didn’t finish number 34-she did.
 * Fixed. Corrections: JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:20, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ★All of these helped her rise into the top 50. She finished year as world No. 34. instead of All of these helped her rise into the top 50, finishing the year as world No. 34.

2015: Continued success until second-half slump

 * Success really didn’t continue that long if she slumped in the second half. Maybe try titling it “2015: A Tale of Two Seasons”?  Or “2015: Great start, second-half slump”
 * I will pick "Great start, second half slump". Find it more appropriate. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:28, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”quarterfinal, at the Hobart International” – comma not needed
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:28, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” but lost her third-round match” – “but she lost her third-round match”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:40, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need comma after “Sharapova”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:40, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Need comma after “Scheepers”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:40, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Pattaya, but lost” – “Pattaya, where she lost”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:40, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” but then Petkovic avenged her early Dubai exit by beating Diyas” – “but Petkovic avenged her early Dubai exit by beating Diyas in the second round.”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:40, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” In the next round she beat Donna Vekić, before she lost to” – “In the next round, she beat Donna Vekic before losing to”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:40, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Move comma from after bye to after Open in the last sentence of the second paragraph.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:40, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Link double-bagel
 * Done. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:40, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Take out comma after round
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 13:40, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Four sentences in a row start with “At” ; vary a couple of them for variety.
 * Corrections:
 * ★Diyas followed up this performance by making double-bagel against Sabine Lisicki in the first round of the Premier-level Stuttgart Open but later did not make it to the quarterfinal, losing to Sara Errani. ◆ instead of ◆ At the Premier-level Stuttgart Open, she notched the WTA's second double-bagel of the season against Sabine Lisicki in the first round but did not make it to the quarterfinal, losing to Sara Errani.
 * ★Her next step was Premier Mandatory Madrid Open, where she lost at the beginning of the tournament to Carla Suárez Navarro. ◆ instead of ◆ At the Madrid Open, she lost at the beginning of the tournament to Carla Suárez Navarro.
 * ★Next week, she played at the Italian Open, where she beat Tsvetana Pironkova before she lost to seed No. 6 Eugenie Bouchard. ◆ instead of ◆ At the Italian Open, she beat Tsvetana Pironkova before she lost to seed No. 6 Eugenie Bouchard.
 * ★She finished clay season with playing at the French Open as 32nd seed. ◆ instead of ◆ At the French Open, Diyas was seeded 32nd.
 * ★There, she defeated qualifier Dinah Pfizenmaier in the first round in straight sets but eventually lost to Alison Van Uytvanck in the following round. ◆ instead of ◆ She defeated qualifier Dinah Pfizenmaier in straight sets but eventually lost to Alison Van Uytvanck in the second round.
 * ”at Birmingham, by defeating” – no comma needed
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 14:15, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”the fourth seed Maria Sharapova” – Don’t need “Maria” since you already mentioned her.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 14:15, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Take out “however” in first sentence of fifth paragraph, since you just used it in previous sentence.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 14:15, 22 April 2021 (UTC)

2016: Wrist injury

 * ” she was lost” – “she lost”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 14:19, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”In March, she traveled to the United States, first to play in the Indian Wells Open, where she beat Jamie Loeb in the first round, but could not beat Victoria Azarenka in the next round.” – run-on sentence. How about “In March, she traveled to the United States, where her first event was the Indian Wells Open. She beat Jamie Loeb in the first round, but could not beat Victoria Azarenka in the next round.”
 * Agree! Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 14:19, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” On clay, she reached two second rounds, at the Internationaux de Strasbourg losing to Alla Kudryavtseva and then at the French Open losing to Simona Halep.” – “On clay, she reached two second rounds: the Internationaux de Strasbourg, where she lost to Alla Kudryavtseva, and the French Open, where she lost to Simona Halep.”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 14:19, 22 April 2021 (UTC)

2017: Return to tour, first WTA title

 * ”reaching quarterfinals” – “reaching the quarterfinals”
 * Fixed: JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:25, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need Saisai’s 1st name on second mention
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:25, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Three sentences in a row start with “at”—change one for variety
 * Corrections: JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:25, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ★Then, she won her first ITF title since June 2014 at a $25K tournament in Nanning. ◆ instead of ◆ She then won her first ITF title since June 2014 at a $25K tournament in Nanning.
 * ★The following week, she managed to reach the quarterfinals of the WTA 125K Zhengzhou Open but then lost to the top seed Peng Shuai. ◆ instead of ◆ At the WTA 125K Zhengzhou Open, she managed to reach the quarterfinals before losing to the top seed Peng Shuai.
 * ★Her next step was $100K ITF tournament in Anning, Kunming Open, where she reached the final but lost to Zheng again. ◆ instead of ◆ At the Kunming Open $100K ITF tournament, she reached the final but lost to Zheng Saisai again.
 * ★She then came to Japan to play at the $80K Kangaroo Cup in Gifu but did not do well, losing to Luksika Kumkhum in the first round. ◆ instead of ◆ At the Kangaroo Cup in Gifu, she lost in the first round to Luksika Kumkhum.
 * ★Things get better in the following week, when she was advanced to the semifinals of the $60K Fukuoka but lost to Magdaléna Rybáriková. ◆ instead of ◆ She then lost to another returning player Magdaléna Rybáriková twice, in Fukuoka and Surbiton.
 * ★Diyas started grass season with first-round loss in Surbiton but then following week won a $100K Manchester Trophy, scoring ... ◆ instead of ◆ Diyas then won a $100K tournament, the Manchester Trophy, scoring ...
 * ” lost to another returning player Magdaléna Rybáriková twice” – awkward. Probably best to take out “another returning player” altogether.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:27, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * This and the next sentence each use then—come up with a different transition for one of them.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:30, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” and defending champion Christina McHale to reach the final. She eventually beat” – Reach the final is awkward here because of how far it is separated from the rest of the sentence. How about “and defending champion Christina McHale.  In the final, she beat”
 * Agree. Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:30, 22 April 2021 (UTC)

2018: Back as a top 100 mainstay and another injury

 * She falls out of the top 100 just the very next year, so “mainstay” probably isn’t a great characterization. How about “2018: Back in the top 100 and another injury”
 * Agree. Done. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:32, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need Sharapova’s 1st name, since she’s already been mentioned in the article.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:32, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Don’t need comma after Miami Open
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:32, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Is there any more detail on the knee injury (ACL tear, etc)?
 * Don’t need comma after US Open
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:32, 22 April 2021 (UTC)

2019–20: Out of form

 * ” from Aleksandra Krunić” – “to Aleksandra Krunić”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:34, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” and then the failure to qualify for the Miami Open with the subsequent loss of ranking points saw her once again drop out of the top 100” – “and her failure to qualify for the Miami Open saw her once again drop out of the top 100.” – Clearer, and I think the context explains the effect of failing to qualify for the Miami Open.
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:34, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” Diyas won the eighth career” – “Diyas won her eighth career”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:34, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” After that, she played at the Australian Open, reaching the third round where she played against No. 10, Kiki Bertens, but failed to reach the fourth round, missing a chance to make her best result at that tournament.” – “After that, she played at the Australian Open, facing No. 10, Kiki Bertens in the third round but losing and missing a chance for her best finish at that tournament.”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:34, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” to qualify to the main draw” – “to qualify for the main draw”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:35, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” she lost in first round” – “she lost in the first round”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:35, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” qualify for main draw” – “qualify for the main draw”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:35, 22 April 2021 (UTC)

2021?

 * Has she done anything this year yet?

Billie Jean King Cup
“That was enough for Kazakhstan to win their round-robin group, however, later they lost to Japan in the play-off, and missing another chance to get to the World Group II play-off.” – “That was enough for Kazakhstan to win their round-robin group; however, they later lost to Japan in the play-off, missing another chance to get to the World Group II play-off.”
 * ” representing the team from 2009 to 2011, and again from 2015 through 2019, with absence in 2017” – “representing the team from 2009 to 2011, 2015 through 2016, and 2018 through 2019.”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:42, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Link ties
 * Added. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:42, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” playing in doubles alongside Galina Voskoboeva and also winning that match with a double bagel” – “winning in doubles alongside Galina Voskoboeva with a double bagel”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:42, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Diyas didn’t” – contractions are discouraged on Wikipedia, so “Diyas did not”
 * Done. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:42, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” for the next three years from 2012 to 2014” – take out “for the next three years”, redundant
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:42, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”in 2014, but lost” – don’t need comma
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:42, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” Diyas all of” – Something missing
 * Diyas won all of her three singles matches. - bold was missing. Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:42, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:50, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” played singles matches, and was” – comma not needed
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:50, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ”but it wasn’t” – “but it was not”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:50, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” first set in both of matches” – “first set of both matches”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:50, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” in the Finals round, but lost” – comma not necessary
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:50, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” when it was first renamed as the” – “when it was renamed the”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:50, 22 April 2021 (UTC)

Playing style

 * Section looks good!

Apparel and equipment

 * Section looks good!

Coaching team

 * ”After her shoulder surgery that she underwent in late 2011, she started a collaboration with a new coach Alan Ma in Guangzhou” – “After undergoing shoulder surgery in late 2011, she started working with Alan Ma in Guangzhou.”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:51, 22 April 2021 (UTC)

Personal life

 * ” tournament is Wimbledon, being in love with its tradition and history” – “tournament is Wimbledon, which she loves for its tradition and history”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:53, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” She is the third player from Kazakhstan to win that award, and they have combined for four such awards in total” – “She is the third player from Kazakhstan to win that award, and hers was the fourth won by a Kazakhstan national.”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:53, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
 * ” she was nominated for the award of Newcomer of the Year, but lost to Belinda Bencic” – “she was nominated for Newcomer of the Year but lost to Belinda Bencic”
 * Fixed. JamesAndersoon (talk) 17:53, 22 April 2021 (UTC)